Michael's Soapbox

New Site

2009-03-15T13:01:00.003-05:00

Friends,

It's an amazing time in life where I have the esteemed privilege of moving my blog to my own domain name. I hope that both of you, my faithful readers, will join my celebration and come to the new website. In the spirit of hope and change, we will have a bit-warming party at the new place. So, come one, come both, to evylrobot.com. Many thanks,

Evyl Robot Michael

Gun Porn

2009-03-11T23:00:00.001-05:00

Attention all things that go bump in the night! I bump back.

Judgement Part-III

2009-03-10T21:17:00.002-05:00

I'm sure that both of you remember when I was talking about my shotgun, or the other time that I was talking about my shotgun. Well, after waiting more than two months, I have received a magazine extension, and canceled an order for two others. I will never give my business to Impact Guns again. My order from Morning Bite initially got shipped to the wrong address, but the communication was great, the owner took the time to explain the situation to me, and resolved it to my satisfaction. If I were into fishing, I would give a lot more of my business to them. We tried the mag extension on Jen's 20-gauge, but it didn't like it. It kept trying to double-feed shells from the mag, which caused it to repeatedly and completely jam the action. It only takes a couple of minutes to clear, but that's a couple of minutes in which YOU COULD DIE in the wrong situation. It works like a charm on my gun. I went ahead and put the magazine spring and retainer from my 12 in Jenni's 20, so that increased her capacity from four to five, and the gun actually cycles the mag better now than it did in its stock form. Score! So, we each got an upgrade out of the deal. I've been wanting to take some final pics of the gun, but I just don't feel like it right now. Maybe tomorrow I'll take some pics of my personal go-to guns on the back porch right before sunset. This would exclude my beloved .44 Magnum, of course - since it is only a pleasure shooter and target gun. But, I think I could take a really nice picture of my 586's, Star-15, and my Ranger. There's something to think about in my dreams... *yawn* ...I guess I'm still fighting that whole time change B. S.

EBR Dissipation Range Report

2009-03-09T10:52:00.002-05:00

Success!

Here's the rifle with my ladybug helper:

Here's the setting for the test:

And, here's the proof in the pudding:

Please pardon my goofy grin. I'm not sure what's up with that. Here's the close up of the target in question:

That's at 100-yards, prone. Given a little more time with the gun, and some high-quality ammunition, I'm confident that I can tighten up that group quite a bit. I really see no reason that this should be any less than a sub-minute rifle. It looks like she's pulling slightly to the right, but it got to the point that I didn't want to mess with the sight adjustment any more for the weekend. The gun shoots like a dream, and I should have done this modification a long time ago.

Yesterday, I mounted a single rail on the bottom of the handguard. I'm going to have to get some better handguards to get where I am trying to go with this thing. I still don't think I want to do a quad rail, as I like the low size and weight of the plastic. At any rate, I'm having fun, and that's really the point of the thing. I wish the antis could figure that one out...

EBR Dissipation

2009-03-06T09:14:00.002-06:00

Since the wife got her EBR, I will be doing some customization to the old Doublestar - to really transform it into my own gun. There have been several modifications that I've wanted to do to this, but since we were sharing an EBR, I didn't want to personalize it too much and ostracize my dear wife. The first step has been to extend the sight radius to rifle-length like the Bushmaster Dissipator. This particular mod just seems like a no-brainer to me. You get the sight radius of the rifle, but retain the handiness of the carbine. That's a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned.

I found a low-profile gas block on ebay for cheap. It came in via USPS on Wednesday. The price was right, as the machining wasn't terribly tight on the thing, and there were some holes that I had to clean up/redrill prior to installation. I don't regret buying the thing, as it was about half the price of a higher-quality block, and it ultimately mounted to the gun as if it was made for this specific gun. If I do another such conversion, I will probably go for a better gas block, but I don't see how this one could possibly hurt at this point. I'm not completely convinced that I want to go with fancy, expensive handguards, so I got a cheap set of full-length, plastic handguards at the local military surplus, and on Wednesday evening went to town tearing down the upper so I could rebuild it to my own specifications.

The stock sight block got remounted closer to the muzzle, after replacement with the low profile block. I plugged the chamber with my pinky and blew down the muzzle to make certain that I had aligned the gas holes between the barrel and the block. No problem there! Once all was said and done, I went to install the full-length handguards, and that's when I made the discovery that there are different handguard caps. I haven't handled a whole lot of these things, so I hadn't noticed, and nobody told me that there are differences. The cap that came on my carbine is the standard carbine, round cap. The handguards that I bought fit the old-style, triangular cap. My impatience told me to modify parts to fit together, but my better sense told me to shop for the proper-fitting parts. Yesterday, I made a couple of phone calls and ran to the military surplus store again only to discover that nobody in town has either a set of round-cap handguards or a triangular handguard cap that they can sell me.

Last night, I revisited the 'modify' option. I spent a couple hours with a hand-rasp, filing away plastic until the handguards would fit into the round cap. (Talk about pounding a triangular peg into a round hole!) Ultimately, the rifle came out looking very nice. It now wears the full-length handguards, and has the rifle-length sight radius on the carbine upper. This extended the sight radius by about 33% - which should vastly improve my long-range accuracy as long as the ammo can keep up with the machine and me. I was so tired last night that I didn't feel like taking any pictures, but they will be forthcoming. Maybe I can have a little EBR photo session this evening or tomorrow morning.

I'm enough of a traditionalist that I don't want to mount a bunch of excess crap all over my rifle like a lot of folks do. My rifle doesn't need a light, and a laser, and a holographic sight, and a scope, and a radar, and an anemometer, and a vertical fore-grip, and ammo storage, and battery storage, etc., etc., etc... Heck! My weapon of choice is a 12-gauge pump action, with a well-tuned, double-action revolver scoring a very close second. It's no small wonder that I even wanted an AR in the first place. Honestly, if it were not for the threat of a new AWB, I probably would have never bought one at all. But, I digress - I follow the KISS philosophy with my rifle. I don't think I want the bulk, pokey corners, and heft of a quad rail, but I would like a single rail on the bottom side of the handguard where I can easily mount a sling swivel and possibly a bipod in multiple locations. I would like to get a quick-disconnect scope that I can use as an alternative to the iron sights from time to time. Prior to that, I would like to get some nicer irons. The sights on the gun do the job, but they could be a whole lot better.

The gun is really sharp looking, even if I say so myself. Stay tuned for pics and a range report! I hope both of you enjoy them!

A Sick Commercial to Make You Giggle

2009-03-04T12:52:00.000-06:00

I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!

Stock Market Bargains.

2009-03-03T20:47:00.002-06:00

A couple days ago, the stock market closed under 7,000. So, Jen and I bought it. Yup - we know a bargain when we see it. We had been scrimping and saving, and we were able to pony up the $7,000.00 that the entire stock market was worth. Once we finally come out of this pesky recession, we'll be super, uber rich! I'm gonna have me sooooooooo many fur coats it isn't even funny! I'm going to be hosting the greatest party in history! You are all invited, too! *singing to a tune* Rich rich rich rich riiiiich riiiiiich!

EBR 2.0

2009-02-22T22:06:00.003-06:00

Folks,

It looks like the wife and I are about to pick up our second Evyl Black Ryfle. H&H Gun Range hosts an annual gun expo, in which one could buy tickets to test drive a multitude of guns from over a dozen manufacturers. We attended the last one, and had great fun. We set a budget and bought a pre-determined amount of tickets. We split the tickets down the middle and acted like a couple of kids at the fair. Well, in all fairness, I acted like a kid at the fair. My darling wife acted like a man shopping for a car.

Where I ran around looking for the next amazing firearm to try out, my wife was objectively comparing variations of 1911s. When I was down to about three tickets, the S&W M&P15 caught my eye. It was so completely unlike anything I had ever considered shooting before. It was black, had a lot of plastic on it, and was supported by every mall-ninja I'd come across so far. A ticket was not much money, so I decided to give her a whirl. I. Loved. That. Gun. I produced a very tight group with the five shots that I was allowed, the action was smooth and lightning-fast, the trigger was the perfect balance between light and tight, and the user interface of the weapon was intuitive. I had to have one.

After the expo, I told Jen that I wanted one of these new-fangled 'assault weapons' that congress was trying to re-ban for no apparent reason except for appearance. I knew for a fact that she would also appreciate this gun, so I threw in as a boon and a bonus to my sales pitch that she would love it as well. So, several weeks later at the local military surplus, we stretched the family budget to purchase a brand-new Doublestar M4 carbine. This sucker is slicker than the S&W, and we were both in love. It completely clashed with our collection composed of double action revolvers, but that didn't matter. All of our family members were shocked that we would even want such an animal - until they shot it.

Fast forward five months. We have accumulated six Magpul PMags for it, many hundred rounds of ammunition, and I have fashioned a lizard-skin sling for it. No, we haven't done many upgrades to it, but I feel about upgrades to an EBR like I do about tuning jobs for a handgun - they are great, but put it off if there is a threat to further purchases in the balance. At this point, Jenni wants one of her own. She has kicked in the idea of taking the Doublestar as her own, and letting me buy my own replacement for it. I'm not sure what to think about that idea.

On the one hand, I would really really like a .357 Magnum lever-action. On that same hand, I would probably enjoy the lever more and get more use out of than the AR-15. On the other hand, I really love the AR-15, and I could get the lever later. There are a jillion of them out there, and they aren't specifically named in the new AWB. Granted, they do hold more than ten in the mag, but I still think they would be easier to get post-ban than an EBR - worst case scenario.

Anyhoo, our favorite firearm dealer just got a pallet of S&W's in. These are a combo of 'optics ready' flat-tops with no sights, or flat-tops with an a-frame front and a flip-down rear. We would naturally lean toward the sightless model to add our own sights after purchase. This gun is under the $1,100-mark. Half a year ago, I would have balked at such a price. At this point in time, it sounds like a bargain! Honestly, I don't see us not doing this. Much like my shotgun post, you can expect an EBR post that will feature both Evyl Black Ryfles after we make our purchase.

This will have to wait until I'm cleared from jury duty. I have to show up tomorrow morning for screening, or interviewing, or whatever the F they call it. I hope that it doesn't take any more than the week, and I hope that my wonderful, dear employer chooses to pay me in the interim. I don't believe that they are required to do so, and they haven't said whether or not they will. We shall see. That will determine the time frame on the purchase. If it were not for the impending jury duty, we would have bought the new rifle on Friday. As it is, we will have to see what happens before we make a move.

I still want a .357 lever-action carbine, but it will have to wait for just a little while longer. What does it say about me, anyhow, that I would rather have at my personal disposal wood-gripped double-action revolvers, a pump-action shotgun, and a lever-action carbine than a semi-automatic pistol, a semi-automatic tactical shotgun, and a black rifle? Heck, I'm getting to the point that I'd rather have a proven, 12-gauge pump and plenty of buckshot over a submachine gun, even if it weren't near impossible to get such an animal! Frankly, I can put more lead on target with my 12 than the average bear can with the sub in a given amount of time!

On that note, I will wrap it up. It's about time for me to turn off Pandora, finish my whiskey, blow kisses to both of you, and head to bed. I've got to fulfill my civil duty to Oklahoma County in the morning (wish me luck in all ways) and it's not getting any earlier.

Update

Natural Born Citizen?

2009-02-19T13:04:00.002-06:00

My wife sent me this link today. Honestly, I thought this silliness had stopped after our president was sworn in. For those of you that aren't familiar, and don't feel like reading the linked article, this is an ongoing whine-fest from the right-wingers that claim that the Hawaiian birth certificate proving our president was born there is a fake. They refuse to accept the reality that they lost the election fair and square, and they are grasping at straws at this point.

The fact of the matter is that lots of people were born in Hawaii in 1961. As a matter of fact, most people don't know that I was actually born at the same hospital at the same time, while my parents, Bob and Luan were on vacation in 1961. See, here's my Hawaiian birth certificate to prove it:

Hopefully, the conservatives will quit their whining and accept the loss!

My 100th Post

2009-02-18T13:31:00.003-06:00

That's right, folks. Both of you are reading number one hundred. On September 28, 2007, ninety-nine posts ago, it was my great pleasure to write my debut post, thoughts on pretty much nothing but the blog itself. Approximately a year and a half later, in this post, I aspire to much the same as I did then. I would like to thank both of you for your continued support (I would say 'making it a success', but let's be realistic here). I hope it doesn't take me another year and a half to hit the two hundred-mark. Heck, I don't see how it possibly could! For you who actually enjoy my writing (And you know who you are. Yes, you. You are the only one.), rest assured that as long as I'm still getting pissed off at stuff, or happy about things, it is my intent to continue this blog. And, believe you me - I do get pissed, and I sure as heck get happy! Of course, that last sentence was for the benefit of any first-time readers. Anybody who has read at least three of my blog entries can plainly see that I do get pissed and happy... and excited, and proud, and preachy, and know-it-allish - but that's okay. It's all part of my charm! I may switch domains, or formats, but I have no plan to shut it down at this time. Who knows? Maybe you, my readers, could help me eventually get to the Bloggies! I'm sure they could use someone to serve drinks, or something. Well, I need to get back to work. My boss is going to wonder why I'm taking such a long lunch break.

The Brady's Twisted View of OK

2009-02-17T16:13:00.003-06:00

Link

Below, I have copied the text on their breakdown from the above page, following each section with my rebuttal.

ASSAULT WEAPONS
Are there limitations on assault weapons? No
Oklahoma - No state restriction on the sale or possession of military-style semiautomatic assault weapons. Assault weapons are as easy to buy as hunting rifles. Congress and President Bush allowed the federal assault weapons ban to sunset in 2004. See also: Large Capacity Ammunition Magazines

The very term "assault weapon" is deliberately misleading. The fact of the matter is that the reason that military-style semi-autos are as easy to get as hunting rifles or target rifles is simply that they are hunting and plinking rifles! I wouldn't use my AR-15 on another human being if my .357 Mag or my 12-gauge were within reach! The reason you would need 30-round magazines for these things is that it takes that much .223 to put a person down (or a deer, or a pig, or any number of other, non-human, tasty animals). I like my AR-15 because it's FUN TO SHOOT! It's fun to shoot it at paper, at cans, fruit, vegetables, and any number of other targets! Why would you vilify such a thing?

BALLISTIC FINGERPRINTING
Must handguns be ballistic fingerprinted prior to sale? No

No state requirement that gun dealers or manufacturers provide police with sample bullets/cartridges or digital images of bullets/cartridges prior to the sale of a handgun, �ballistic fingerprinting,� which would assist police in tracing bullets at crime scenes to the guns that fired them.

So, if my state did require ballistic fingerprinting (usually done on the brass), and the bad-guy went on a murderous spree with a stolen gun (which statistically they do), then it would help the police trace the gun to the rightful owner of the gun, who had it stolen from them. Many guns to not automatically eject their brass. Why would the bad guy empty the spent brass from his revolver at the murder scene prior to splitting? 'Oh boy! I love the part where we plant extra, convenient evidence! Hyuck, huck!' No.

Ballistic fingerprinting is one of those things that sounds like a great idea on the first thought. It doesn't take much creativity to tear apart its usefulness.

CHILD ACCESS PREVENTION - CAP
Are gun owners held accountable for leaving guns accessible to kids? No

No state requirement that gun owners take responsible steps to prevent children from gaining easy access to their firearms. Gun owners are not held accountable for leaving loaded guns around kids, even if a young child shoots themselves or someone else with a gun left in plain sight.

I've got a couple of points to make here. Firstly, kids are smart, and they get into stuff. No amount of locking up, hiding, dismantling, burying, and/or use of secret passages and bank-vault quality locks is going to keep them out of stuff that they are curious about. You know what will? Education. Parenting. Our son knows exactly where the guns are. He knows exactly where the ammunition is. He also knows exactly what the combination of those will do, because he has seen .223, 9mm, .38 Special, .357 Magnum, .44 Special, .44 Magnum, .45 ACP, 20-Gauge, and 12-Gauge rip through hard squash like an egg without a shell. He has shot most of those (with help from Dad, of course) and he has some understanding of the power. He doesn't really want any of that. Beyond that, we know exactly where he is at all times. He doesn't feel like we are looming over him, ready to slap his hand or anything like that, but there is some accountability there.

Secondly, I'd like the Brady's to tell that to the D. A. I'm pretty sure that if this went to court, they could easily get the parents/grandparents - whoever - on negligence. It's a common-sense issue. There doesn't need to be a specific law about it. A jury of twelve Okies would find them guilty of negligence if the evidence was there. We're a pretty smart community, and we don't need nanny laws, thank you very much!

CHILD-SAFETY LOCKS
Must locking devices be sold with guns? No

No state requirement that guns be sold with child-safety locks that could prevent a tragic accident. Child-safety locks cost as little as $10 and could save lives if sold with firearms.

I call B. S. on this one. I have never bought a new handgun, and not gotten a lock with it. When I've asked about it, the seller has told me that they are required, under state law, to provide one with the purchase. Do your research, Brady's. Now, this may not apply to long-guns, but with your average goose-gun weighing in at seven or eight pounds, in excess of four feet long, explain to me how a young child is going to pick it up and operate it, much less shoot themselves!

CHILDPROOF HANDGUNS
Are only authorized users able to operate handguns? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law mandating that all new handguns be sold with 'personalized' handgun technology that would only allow the authorized user to operate the firearm. Childproof handguns play an important role in helping to prevent unintentional shootings among children and to deter suicides among minors.

And the reason here, folks, is because this is pure, unadulterated, science fiction. The Brady's are watching way too many movies. There are no such guns that recognize their rightful owner and will not operate in the hands of someone 'not authorized'. To use this as criteria for a frowny list like this is absurd. It would be like me saying that your car isn't safe because it isn't equipped with a force-field generator, or an anti-grav cabin. Besides that, if there were such guns, I wouldn't want them anyway. That would be a pain in the ass when I took friends to the range and wanted them to try out my Zaygon STX Firedragon rifle chambered in .657 Doom! (Hey, if we're being dramatic about this, I may as well run with it, right?)

GUN DEALER REGULATIONS
Must gun dealers adhere to state licensing and/or oversight systems? No
Oklahoma - No state licensing and/or oversight systems are required. Having no licensing and/or oversight system at the state level makes cracking down on rogue gun dealers extremely difficult. Requiring that gun dealers adhere to specific measures and holding them accountable for their actions and inventory will reduce illegal gun trafficking and help prevent criminals and other dangerous people from easily obtaining guns.

Damned straight! Should one be required to buy a license from a slow-moving government in order to get personal/home protection? Not just no, but HELL NO! Do some guns slip through the cracks? Undoubtedly. Would exterminating the existence of such devices squelch crime to some degree? It's possible, but I doubt it. If it weren't for guns, these people would be going after our swords and spears, if those didn't exist, they would be trying to take our clubs and rocks. The bottom line is that these people want to DISARM us. They want the GOOD people to be defenseless. Licensure for gun purchasing disarms the victims. Period. If nobody could legally get guns, could the criminals still get them? No question.

The bottom line to my ranting here is this: Which is better, that nobody be armed, or that everybody be armed? I would say everyone, but I can see how some would say that it's a toss. If you make it illegal to get guns, will the good guys have guns? Will the bad guys? So, if letting the law-abiding, generally good citizens arm themselves means that some criminals, with bad intent will also arm themselves, I say so be it. At least we have means to defend ourselves against them. They are going to get them anyway. Why is it that the anti-gunners are also the people who use this same argument about passing out condoms in schools? That's pretty screwed up right there.

GUN MANUFACTURER ACCOUNTABILITY
Do cities have authority to hold gun makers legally liable? No

State law forbids city and county governments from taking any legal action to hold gun manufacturers accountable, even when they act irresponsibly in the way they design, market or distribute weapons. No other industry enjoys such special immunity for irresponsible conduct.

In our sue-happy society, we can sue McDonald's if the coffee is too hot. We can sue an airline if we survived the crash with a bloody nose. When are we going to stand up for responsibility where it belongs? The mentality of the above point is what has led Ruger to put ugly warnings all over their guns, and led Smith & Wesson to put the so-called 'Hillary hole' on theirs. This has got to stop somewhere! Look, the bad guys are bad. The good guys are good. The good guys sometimes do bad things and should be reprimanded for it. The bad guys sometimes come around, and we should show them a little mercy and grace. That's really not so complicated. If you come to my house, and you go to ring the doorbell, but it shocks you and you are emotionally damaged because of it, tough! If you are walking down the sidewalk in front of my house, and the emergency brake fails at that very moment, and the car rolls over you and you die, I'm very sorry. That's quite unfortunate, and I'll probably have some kind words for your family. If you were at my house and some crazed maniac attacked us all with a chainsaw and diced us up, would somebody sue Briggs & Stratton? I sure as hell hope not! Cook the bad guy, for Pete's sake, but the maker of the equipment cannot be held liable for how it is used! Period! Granted, if someone made a product that was truly defective, then they ought to be held accountable. But, RG is out of business, and there are no more Saturday Night Specials that are being sold today. Any gun available on the market is probably safe enough for its purpose. My personal preferences may run a scosche higher than some, but that's not saying that the lesser guns on the modern market are not worthy of shooting.

GUN SHOW LOOPHOLE
Are background checks required at gun shows? No

No state requirement that a Brady criminal background check be done on people buying guns at gun shows if they are sold by "private" individuals or gun "collectors." Gun shows can operate on a "no questions asked, cash-and-carry" basis, making it easy for criminals and even juveniles to buy as many guns as they want at gun shows, including assault weapons. No records are required to be kept on gun show sales by private individuals or gun collectors, making it almost impossible for police to trace such weapons if they are used in a crime.

This point is so very misleading, since it's actually more than one point, some true and good, and others complete lies. The original question is a direct mis-truth. Background checks are required at gun shows, and the 'gun show loophole' is nothing more than a myth that suits the agenda.

They cite a 'Brady criminal background check'. What is required and practiced is an Insta-Check criminal background check. If someone is caught dealing guns without an FFL or running background checks, it is a felony. Sarah Brady, have you ever been pounded by Bubba? F E L O N Y. To cite their background check is like me saying that your driver's license isn't really valid since you didn't get an Evyl Robot Michael Driver's License. Who gives a crap, right? How can I proclaim myself the highest authority in the land, and how can the Brady's, for that matter?

Then, they talk about 'no records kept' on gun sales. That sounds like registration - which sounds like a good thing, but I'll get to that soon...

GUNS AT WORK
Are businesses forced to allow guns in the workplace? Yes
Oklahoma - State law forces employers and businesses to allow guns on their privately held property. This dangerous law seeks to turn companies into criminals if they ban guns on their private property.

False. Employers are required only to let employees leave their guns in their car in the parking lot. They are not, by any stretch of definition, required to let unwanted arms into the workplace. Say I have to drive through the ghetto, and there's a high likelihood that I could get car-jacked at a red light on my way to work. So, I arm myself, and if someone shatters the window and puts a gun to my head, I grab the attacker's gun with my left hand, pull my own gun with my right hand, and introduce the bastard to his maker. If my boss can tell me that I can't have a gun at work at all, what am I supposed to do? I can't take it into work with me. I can't leave it in the car. What am I supposed to do? What The Brady Bunch is arguing is that I should not have any rights as an individual, and that the company that I work for should completely dictate my safety, at and away from the workplace. That sucks.

GUNS ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES
Are colleges/universities forced to allow guns on campus? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law forcing colleges/universities to allow guns on campus.

They got this one right. One of the biggest problems with gun laws in the Great State of Oklahoma is the fact that there are not laws protecting the rights of law-abiding citizens to have guns on school campus. This is a flaw in the system, as it makes us vulnerable to Virginia Tech-style attacks. If I was in a classroom environment, and someone burst in and started shooting, I would shoot him. I didn't say that I would try to shoot him, I said that I would shoot him. If I was forced to be defenseless, I would not have the option. I would probably have to pretend to be dead and hope for the best. I would never forgive myself either. I hope we can get rid of the School Massacre Bait Laws, to give our talented, ambitious youth a chance to live. I don't think I should have to disarm to walk into the elementary school to get my son in the afternoon. I don't think that a college student should be forced to be defenseless. I believe that every teacher and professor should be well-armed and trained even better. If I owned my own private school, it would be a requirement.

JUVENILE SALE
Is it illegal to sell handguns to anyone under 21 years of age? No

State law does not restrict selling handguns to juveniles under the age of 21 by unlicensed sellers. Under federal law, only federally licensed dealers are prohibited from selling or delivering handguns or ammunition for handguns to any person under the age of 21. A strong state law is needed to stop unlicensed persons from selling handguns to those under the age of 21.

To the Brady's: Prove it. Show me a situation where Junior bought a gun from the creepy old man down the street. Provide a reference that has ever happened in the State of Oklahoma, in which this has occurred and not resulted in Dad kicking creepy old man's creepy old butt. Because, I'm telling you now that some things don't need to be legislated, and this is one of them. Should we pass a law that makes it illegal for you to feed your kids only candy? No, because it's a self-correcting problem. Should we pass a law that says that you have to inflate an inter tube to play with it at the lake? No, because it's common sense. The point is moot. There are no laws saying that you can't serve raw, rotten meat to guests, even though it could result in someone being harmed. If I tried that, the injury would be mine, as one of my guests would surely be insulted.

LARGE CAPACITY AMMUNITION MAGAZINES
Are there limitations on large capacity ammunition magazines? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law restricting the sale or possession of large capacity ammunition magazines that can fire 30, 50 or even 75 rounds without reloading. Ammunition magazines with a capacity of more than 10 rounds of ammunition are considered large capacity magazines. These types of ammunition magazines are available for any firearm capable of accepting a detachable magazine, including assault weapons and semi-automatic handguns.

So? I'm serious. What's the point? '...can fire 30, 50 or even 75 rounds of ammunition without reloading.' Say it ain't so! Oh, my gosh! To fire so many rounds without so much as reloading is... ...well... ...it's... ...what is it? Honestly, I'm not sure what they're getting at here. We could all switch to single-shots, but that would be a pain in the butt. It's fun and convenient to shoot 30, 50, or even 75 rounds without reloading. For that matter, I wouldn't mind getting one of those 100-round drums for my AR-15. If they weren't so expensive, I would so get one of those for plinking. I don't necessarily want to shoot 100-rounds all at once, but to not have to worry about loading another mag, or even changing it for a range session, would be great. For defensive purposes, I'm thinking that five shots at a time is about minimum between reloads, and thirty is about the maximum that I would want to manage in one string. This again comes down to, why is a hi-cap mag a bad thing? Because you say so? What makes you the authority?

LICENSE OR PERMIT TO PURCHASE
Is a license/permit required to buy handguns? No

No state requirement that handgun buyers obtain a handgun license or undergo any type of safety training prior to buying a handgun.

I think it's funny on this list how they keep recycling their points. Refer to the 'Gun Dealer Regulations' section above, because this is just a restatement of that to try to add a little glimpse-meat to their point here, since they lack any real argument for their agenda. Purchasing licensure is a pro-rape mantra to make sure that the victims stay victims and the criminals stay more powerful than them.

LIMIT BULK PURCHASES
Is there a one-handgun-per-month limit on sales? No

No state restrictions on gun-trafficking such as a limit on the number of handguns that can be purchased at one time. Gun traffickers can easily buy large quantities of handguns at gun stores and resell them on the street to criminals.

First, I will refer back to my point that some guns will slip through the cracks and wind up in the wrong hands - you can't regulate that out of reality. My second point will be, why should I be limited on the hardware that I'm allowed to buy? I don't believe that it is any business of the government's what I buy, or how much of it I buy. I don't think that felons should be allowed to legally arm themselves, but that is about where I believe 'common sense' gun legislation ends.

LIMITS ON CONCEALED HANDGUN PERMITS
May police limit carrying concealed handguns? No

State law forces police chiefs and state sheriffs to give concealed carry permits (CCW) to anyone 23 years of age or older who can buy a handgun, allowing them to carry loaded, concealed handguns in public (known as �shall issue�). Some safety training in the legal or safe use of weapons is required to obtain the CCW permit. State law allows residents of some other states to carry concealed weapons in this state without informing local police.

Mostly true, and proud of it. The age limit is actually 21, not 23. Explain how this could possibly be a bad thing. We don't work for them, and they aren't there to babysit us. They work for us. The police are there to serve and protect. Have you ever heard the phrase used? Did you ever wonder what it means, Sarah Brady? With rare exception, if you can legally buy a handgun, you shall get the license to carry it, loaded and concealed, if you will only jump through the hoops - guaranteed. The only reason that you could not legally buy a handgun is if you are a criminal. Therefore, if you aren't a criminal, and you have jumped through the hoops, you get the license.

MICROSTAMPING
Must new semi-automatic handguns be sold with microstamping technology? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law requiring new semi-automatic handguns be fitted with microstamping technology, which would engrave on each fired bullet casing microscopic identifying markings that are specific to that firearm alone. This technology would provide law enforcement with another investigative tool to better solve gun crimes and apprehend armed criminals.

This point is kind of a permutation of the 'BALLISTIC FINGERPRINTING' and 'CHILDPROOF HANDGUNS'. Like I said, they tend to recycle some points in this thing, true or false, to support their otherwise unfounded argument. This proposition would easily triple the price of firearms. A law like this would not be about helping to solve crimes. Rather, it would serve to make sure that low-income households could not afford defense. The idea of putting an extra zero at the end of the price tag of every firearm is not about crime prevention so much as it is about racism and bigotry. It is specifically targeted at low-income families to prevent them from protecting themselves, to assure that they can become victims of criminal violence. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Those Brady's are a bunch of stand up people, aren't they?

PREEMPTION - LOCAL GUN LAWS
May municipalities enact law stronger than the state's? No

State law forbids local city or county governments from enacting any local gun laws, even though the state has failed to pass responsible state-wide laws. This preemption of local government authority makes it impossible for cities to enact sensible gun laws to make their citizens safer.

The gun laws in Illinois are not so obstructive to free citizens, but the City of Chicago has hideous, draconian gun laws that in turn produce one of the higher concentrations of crime on the continent. Tell me I'm wrong. That is what the Brady campaign is proposing here. I know that my hometown will put a citation for a code violation on my front door when I've pulled a wheel off the car in the driveway to take it to the tire shop to have the tire changed. I don't really want them in the business of my gun ownership status. No.

RECORD KEEPING
May police maintain gun sale records? No

State law forbids police from keeping any record of gun sales. Police are prohibited from maintaining gun sale records that could be used for gun tracing and criminal investigations. The state has no way of knowing whether people who bought guns in the past have become criminals and are no longer allowed to possess firearms. The lack of gun sale records also makes it very difficult to identify and prosecute gun traffickers or gang members that buy guns in bulk and resell them on the street.

This, friends, is yet another recycled point, wrapped in a mis-truth. As I previously stated, there is no gun registry in The State of Oklahoma. Does that mean that gun purchases are completely hidden from law enforcement? No. Investigators may look into the records that FFL holders are required to keep, for the purpose of an investigation, with a court-issued warrant. I think that's fair enough. Gun registry sounds like a good thing at first. I'm sure it sounded like a good thing to the Jews when the Nazis put it into effect in Germany too. I'm really not going to go any further with this point. If you need further clarification as to why gun registry is a bad thing, please request it in my comment section. If you wish to remain anonymous, please say so in your comment, and I will not release your comment from moderation.

REGISTRATION
Are all guns registered with law enforcement? No

No state requirement that gun owners register their firearms. Police do not know how many guns are in the state or where they are. The lack of registration data makes it more difficult for police to trace guns used in crime, identify illegal gun traffickers or hold gun owners accountable for their weapons. There is no state system to automatically identify and disarm felons and other prohibited people who bought guns legally in the past, but later committed a crime or otherwise became ineligible to keep possession of their firearms.

You would think that they would at least put a contrasting point between copied points. But, this one proves that common sense is not working with the Brady's. Alright, I'll take a stab at their recycled point. "Oooooh, it makes it harder for laaaaaw enforcement, since they have to figure out stuff." I'm sorry, but the cops shouldn't know everything about me. Earlier, I made the point that they work for us, we do not work for them. I would not let my employees watch me make love to my wife, and similarly it is not the PD's business how many and/or what type of weapons I have at my disposal until I do something stupid with them.

REPORT LOST/STOLEN GUNS
Are firearm owners required to report all lost or stolen guns to law enforcement? No
Oklahoma - State law does not require firearm owners to report lost or stolen firearms to law enforcement. This requirement would help to keep illegal guns off the streets by removing the excuse used by gun traffickers that "lose" their firearms.

I wanted to say that this is not correct, but I honestly can't back that up. I was under the impression that we must report lost or stolen guns within 72-hours, but I can't find a reference on that. If I find anything else, I will post it as an update.

SAFETY STANDARDS
Are there consumer safety standards on guns? No

No state requirement that handguns meet any basic safety standards. No requirement that guns be sold with a child-safety lock or a built-in �personalized� lock to prevent unauthorized use. No requirement that handguns have loaded-chamber indicators or magazine safety disconnects that could prevent unintentional shootings. The state Attorney General is not allowed to independently establish handgun safety standards.

The State Attorney General is not necessarily qualified to establish handgun safety standards. Beyond that, none of the information in this point is anything that I have not previously addressed in this post already. The Brady Campaign could cut out their repeats and condense this sucker by half at least!

SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIALS
Are there limitations on 'junk' handguns? No

No state restriction on the sale of Saturday night specials or "junk" handguns. No requirement that handguns meet any safety tests such as a drop-safety test or a firing-performance test. No restriction on the sale of snub-nosed handguns that are very small and easy to conceal.

The mention of snub-nosed handguns is a red herring here. I'm sorry, but it's hard not to love a snubby once you get to know them. Prior to that, I've already made my point that 'junk' handgun laws are racist and elitist. They are intended to keep low-income households at the bottom of the totem pole. Period.

SHOOT FIRST
Is deadly force allowed to be a first resort in public? Yes
Oklahoma - The state does allow the use of deadly force as a first resort in public. This dangerous law permits the average citizen to bypass our entire justice system by permitting him or her to assume the role of police officer, prosecutor, judge, and executioner.

When a young lady is forced to the ground in a dark alley by a man with a knife, wearing a mask and no pants, and he pulls up her skirt; when she shoots him dead with her concealed handgun, how is that 'bypassing our entire justice system'? Why is is necessary for her to go ahead and take the rape, and possibly the subsequent murder, so that the perp can hopefully be arrested by an officer, prosecuted, tried before a judge and jury (oddly omitted by the Brady's), to then be led to the executioner? You know, I don't see any problem with her taking care of the situation right then and there. I have no objection to someone taking on their own destiny, and doing serious bodily harm to someone who is maliciously attempting serious bodily harm to them. Is that wrong of me?

UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS
Are background checks required on all gun sales? No
Oklahoma - No state requirement that criminal background checks be done on all firearm sales. People buying firearms at gun shows, swap meets, or through newspaper or internet advertisements are not subject to a background check. Criminal background checks are only required if the buyer goes to a federally-licensed gun store - all other sales are not subject to the background check.

They very conveniently threw in the word 'all'. The spirit of the law is this: That you may not transfer ownership of a firearm to someone that you do not know has a clean background. Does Grandpa have to run a background check on me to legally give me his mom's shotgun? No, and that is going to have to be another post, I didn't really pull the example out of thin air. Now, the guys at the gun range know me, but do they know me? They have to run the background check every time. It doesn't matter that they know who we are, that they have met our families and friends, that they know full well that we have valid CCW permits and that they have cleared background checks on us for prior purchases. They MUST run that background check again. Period. So, if I'm going to sell you a gun, personally, face-to-face, it would do me well to make darn tooting sure that you are eligible to own a firearm, or I could be convicted of a straw purchase. Go ahead and hit the link - It refutes a bunch of the Brady points, and shows exactly how petty these people are.

WAITING PERIOD
Is there a waiting period on gun sales? No

No state requirement that there be a waiting period for gun sales beyond the "instant check" in federal law. Police are not given any additional time to run a criminal background check to make sure the gun buyer is not prohibited from acquiring firearms. There is no "cooling off" period to help prevent crimes of passion.

Once again, I'm going to call B. S. and ask for evidence on this one. All the waiting period does is make people anxious to get the new gun that they are so excited about. Then, they get frustrated and want to shoot a Brady - or so I've heard. We don't have a waiting period here, so I wouldn't know about that. (I'm so sorry, Instinct. My heart goes out to you. At least they can't keep you separated from your new shotgun forever.)

The gun law summaries provided by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence more like to exaggerate gun violence should not be regarded as explanation of state law because they're more like pre-teen gossip on state law. While we try wink, wink, nudge, nudge to keep this information accurate and it is accurate, yessiree Bob and updated just like the Brady Show is today, this material is provided for general discussion and reference purposes only and for scare tactics to get you to hate freedom and liberty as much as we do.

Italicized commentary edited in by yours truly, as if you couldn't tell.

What a bunch of crap heads! I'm out.

Judgement: Zombie's Bane - Update

2009-02-11T13:39:00.002-06:00

I don't know whether you read my original post about my 12-gauge. It has now been well over a month since I ordered the mag extensions from Impact Guns. These people have promised me time and time again that the parts should arrive any day now. These people will get no more of my business. Subsequent research tells me that I don't really want the plastic ATI's anyway. I ordered a blue steel StarTac 7-Shot extension from Morning Bite. There was a problem with this order as well, but the owner called me and informed me of what the problem was, and how they plan to resolve it. I'm not happy about the delay, but I'm very impressed with the subsequent customer service. It appears that I purchased the last of this item that they are likely to ever have, and they shipped it to the wrong address. He assured me that they would get it back and resend it to the correct address. When I locate and purchase a second one of these, I'll cancel the order with Impact altogether and never look back. So, long story short - I'm still waiting on my mag extensions.

That Beer

2009-02-09T12:58:00.002-06:00

At thirty years old, and a so-far accomplished husband and father of a rapidly growing boy, I' not nearly as accomplished a drinker as I used to be. My current drinking habits can be best referred to as abstemious. I hate 'getting drunk'. It just doesn't suit my personality. I am a high-energy, meticulous sort of person, and I like my actions to be deliberate.

Therefore, the heaviest drinking I am likely to do will be maybe four or five drinks over the course of six or seven hours, on the weekend, in the comfort of my own home. Even then, such volume is pretty rare, as a 'wild night' anymore usually consists of three drinks over the course of five or six hours until I get pooped and crash at 11:00. Yeah. Getting old is awesome!

All that being said, every once in a great while, I get 'That One Beer.' You know the kind - it's the one that makes me sick or something. All the other beers that I have before it in the evening are fine, but That One makes me feel woozy, double-visioned that night, and usually gives me a headache in the morning. Not cool! That Beer gives me cotton-mouth and keeps me from sleeping restfully, and it often makes my knees achy in the morning.

I think I need a Beer-O-Meter... ...correction, an iBeerMeter. I explain the difference in this post. At any rate, I need some sort of scanner that I can run across all the cans, identify the offending beverage, and mark it especially to serve to obnoxious company or something. If I could manage to skip That Beer, I could continue happily drinking, never cross the line from pleasant buzz to intoxication. But, alas - I don't know how to identify That Beer until I've had about three-quarters of it. At that point, I can't pour it out - that would be a waste of beer!

Oh, what is a guy to do?

Oklahoma - The Scariest Place to Live!!!

2009-02-05T13:00:00.002-06:00

So apparently, Oklahoma is in a three-way tie with Kentucky and Louisiana for dead-last on the Brady list. Yes, their 2008 scorecard clearly prints my beloved state underneath any other with a breathtaking two points to prevent gun violence. And, I've got to tell you folks, that's why everybody always gets shot here. Legal gun owners shoot everyone. Everyday. I've been shot three times already just this morning. When I pee, spent lead falls in the toilet. You out-of-staters ever seen an Okie? We're like swiss-cheese-people. We all have tinnitus from the constant gunfire. These guns are uncontrollable. God bless Sarah Brady and her minions! Someone needs to corral the wild little things. I hope to be safe from myself one day. Until then, I'll just keep dodging bullets and hope that I don't get hit any place vital...

Huggy Retail Customer

2009-02-04T20:22:00.004-06:00

For several long, hard years, I worked at AutoZone. It's not the most glamorous job that a guy can do, and it was nothing short of pure torture at moments. Prior to getting married and having a family, I was such a free-spirited, happy-go-lucky kind of dude that I would breeze through a job for a few months and then blow it off when I got bored. When I realized that I had to have a constant income, I found that I could endure and put up with a crappy job for long lengths of time. Hence, my several years at AutoZone. These years were the segue between being a mechanic at a small auto shop in Okc, and working in the parts department of a local Ford dealership. I got laid off from the dealership when they were going out of business, but it's hard to regret where I've been, given that it has led to where I am now. But, that's not the point of this post.

When I first went to work for AutoZone, I hoped to get to work at the store near my house. It's only a couple of miles away, and I could have gone on bike if I had to. Instead, I was hired on and posted at a store about twenty miles away. At the time, I needed income, no matter what the trouble, so I went to work there. My performance was stellar, and I was noticed by upper management to some degree, and got transferred to another store a little closer to home. At that store, I went through three managers, the last of which was a big, goofy, take-one-for-the-team kind of guy. He had me convinced that in order to make it in the company, I needed to give a little extra, go beyond the call of duty, and even go so far as to work off the clock on special projects. I had my eyes set on corporate work if I was going to stay with the company. So, I gave his suggestion a whirl. One day (on my day off), I was totally burned out, but I had my eye on the prize, and I donned a wrinkled uniform shirt and headed off to the store to set up some displays. I didn't even bother to shave that day. I figured that the effort and free time given would far outweigh anything else. Boy, was I wrong! The head of HR for the district happened to wander into the store that day while I was setting up displays. I ran into him, face to face, in my completely disheveled appearance. He was pissed off!

Before I knew it, I had been transferred to the crappiest store in the district. This is the corner of town that has all the murder stories associated with it. The gas station across the street constantly had red and blue lights flashing. There was an occasion in which my coworkers and I watched as a sedan pulled into an adjoining parking lot and a woman came out of the passenger door to urinate on the ground. I suppose when you've got to go, you've got to go. I was the minority, being the white dude from a more affluent part of town, and was warned not to cross the street or I would get shot (I disregarded those warnings and never once had any trouble though). I had multiple black customers make accusations of racism to my face, gave them witty retorts, and developed loyal customer relationships with them because of it. At that store, I met at least one friend for life, and I learned many lessons of life. I learned that I hate chicken gizzards. I learned that black children are taught that white children carry lice. To my utter sadness, I learned that there are more blacks that are racist against blacks than there are whites. I confronted a black coworker about throwing around the "N" word, that I found it offensive and he should as well. And, I started learning that no challenge is so great that it can't be turned into an opportunity. I did my best, and I worked hard. I changed countless batteries and wiper blades. I helped customers diagnose fuse and relay problems. I had to hide in the office from voraciously amorous women on more than one occasion, much to the hysterical amusement of my coworkers.

One day, I wound up with a day shift during the week by some miracle. There were two guys working in the store with me, and we were bored stiff. We had updated all the displays, run some cycle-counts, cleaned the bathrooms and battery charging stations, and had pretty much removed every speck of dust in the place. There had been no customers to speak of. The two other guys were in the back of the store, straightening merchandise or goofing off or something, and I was at the front counter. It was at that time that a young lady came in. She was a black girl, in her twenties with an average build and average features. I was excited over the prospect of doing something - anything beyond cleaning and straightening the store. I asked her what we could do for her, and she expressed that her car was acting up and she didn't know what was wrong with it. I tested her battery and alternator, and it turned out that she simply had some highly corroded battery cable ends and a couple of blown fuses. Because I was bored, I changed these for her, cleaned up her battery terminals, topped up her fluids and changed her wiper blades. Since I had not been in the store, the two other guys had come to the front counter to watch the store (and watch me, since that was far more entertaining than anything else that had happened all day).

When I had settled up with the girl for the couple of parts used and made sure that her car was operating properly, she threw her arms around my neck and kicked her feet up behind her back. She said, "Thank you so much!" She held the pose for a moment before going to her car to drive away. At the time, I was so shocked, I didn't really know what to do. Truth be told, I can't even recall whether I returned the hug, or just stood there stiffly, wondering what to do!

When she left the store, I turned to the gaping faces of the two other guys I was working with. I smiled widely, and said in a loud, authoritative voice, "That, my friends, is a SATISFIED customer!"

There was a lot of weird stuff that happened when I worked retail, but nothing that I would be ashamed of my wife knowing, and nothing that I couldn't share with my preacher. There are a lot of situations that you think of the perfect thing to say some time later, when it's far too late to deliver the line. This was one of those magical opportuinities where the situation was perfect for it, and I just happened to think of the right thing to say at just the right time.

I know what's going through both of your minds: So, what happened with AutoZone?

I saw two or three different managers over that store before I was finally transferred to the store a couple miles from my house - which turned out to be absolutely the most hellish that my short career with AutoZone had to offer. From there, I electively left the company to pursue a part-time position as a courtesy van driver for the Ford dealership (stay in school, kids), with the promise of a more white-collar position in parts wholesale (the opportunities are limited without a college education). They offered me a second, part-time position in the parts warehouse. Eventually, I went full-time in the warehouse. I refused to sell cars, and they never came through on the desk job that they originally promised. I asked for a job in the accounting department just before the ship started sinking. The management sold wholesale parts, the only part of the dealership that was making any money, and when they were bailing to save the ship, I was in the first wave of layoffs, being the new guy in the office. With the experience I was able to gather in the accounting department, combined with my parts and inventory experience, I was a perfect fit in my current position. God works in mysterious, wonderful ways, people. If the company I'm in can weather the recession, I gladly see many more years there. If not, then I'm sure other doors will open. And, I'm sure it will be something that I've never even thought of doing. Whatever happens, I welcome the opportunity.

Attention Sportball Fanboys (and -girls)

2009-01-30T18:25:00.002-06:00

For the third year in a row, I don't see us watching the Superbowl. Jen and I are not what you would call fans of spectator sports. I find football to be barbaric, low-brow, and hillbilly-ish. We will probably be at the gun range instead. All that being said, I have to admit some jealousy of this. I mean, holy crap! Is that what it means to be a sportsfan? If so, I might consider converting! Well, I can't stay for long, as I have to go and hook up the DVD player in our bedroom so I can keep my fluish wife entertained. Even so, go look at the link. You won't be disappointed.

Update on Holster Making

2009-01-29T17:41:00.006-06:00

To both of my readers,

This has been a long time coming - five months in the progression, actually. First, I posted about my original holster making success. Then, I posted better pics of the original.

Then, I posted an entry on the J-frame cross-draw that I built for my wife.

At that point, I decided that I needed to seek to build holsters for other people, that lead different life experiences, come up with some new innovations in my holsters, and that I needed to do some torture-testing to some basic designs to see how well they hold up under extreme stress. I liked my holster, and Jenni liked hers, but how would anybody else like my holsters? How would they perform for someone else that had completely different habits in their daily routine? The holsters I had built yet were nice, but what set them apart from any other holsters, really? I know that I'm hard on shoes, so I tend to buy really well-made shoes that can take a beating and keep on looking good. Could I build holsters that would perform the same? These are all questions that I felt needed to be answered.

Jenni's coworker, Len decided that he wanted a small-of-the-back holster for his Cobra in .38-Spl. He wanted it to include one two-shot reload. I was up to the challenge, since I had only ever really thought about revolver holsters before. This is what I came up with:

And my wife modeling it:

I have to admit that it was an accident that I cut out my pattern backwards on the leather. There's more to that story that I'll get to in a minute...

My friend, Will told me that he 'pined for' a left-hand holster for his airweight J-frame that had no cant, so he could access it with either hand from deep cover if the proverbial S**T hit the fan. I asked him what color it should be. He said that it should probably be a color. I asked him if I should make him a pink holster. He said that he would proudly wear a pink holster. I didn't think that I could do a pink holster, as it's far easier to dye to a darker color rather than a lighter one (but I will have to recant on that later), so I went with red. I had to call Will to tell him that I was looking at a holster that was somewhere between a fire engine and a tomato.

This sucker pulls the gun in TIGHT! Here's a shot of my lovely wife modeling for me once again in natural light:

He cracked up the first time he saw it! That holster is gorgeous, and the pictures don't do it justice. I would really like to do some more in such a shocking color. At this point, I had come to the realization that I don't do black holsters. I like colors. I alluded to turning the leather inside-out earlier in this post. I thought that maybe I should have a layer of leather facing towards the firearm, and another layer of leather facing the outside to pretty up the combination. My prototype was for one of my .586's. Here's what I came up with prior to dying and finishing the beast:

Note the lack of visible stitches. This holster is double-stitched like all of my previous holsters, but the stitching is hidden under a top layer of leather. This has proven to be a nearly bullet-proof (please pardon the phrase) holster that takes abuse and keeps on performing and looking good. Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of either my left-hand holster or my 'concealed stitch' holster until after some serious torture-testing. On the up-side, the hidden-stitch prototype has held up extremely well! Here are those two holsters in question:

Note that the left-handed one is visibly beat up quite a bit more than the gun-blue, red-lined prototype (I told you I don't do black) on my right-hand side. I'm shocked at how nice both of these look after the punishment that I've put them through over the last six months! I've crawled under cars on the concrete, I've been in the dirt, I've worn them empty as much as I've carried guns in them, and they still hold their shape, retain the revolvers, remain comfortable, and still honestly look pretty darned good.

Next, I traded some reloads for a holster to my friend Darin. He's a lefty, and decided he wanted a cross-draw for his N-Frame in .45 ACP. So, I went to work putting together a hidden-stitch holster for his Model 22. I finished this one in a dark chocolate brown. It turned out very nicely.

I say with much pride that Darin is quite fond of that holster. He's wound up wearing it more in front than on his side. Think Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the ugly. I can hardly blame him. An N-frame is so large that it is a little awkward to wear.

My brother bought his first gun in October. He got himself a 5-inch Para 1911 in .45 ACP. He was talking about wanting a holster, and I was coming up with ideas. He said that he wanted one that logically wore where I wear mine for my 586's. He wanted it canted a little more dramatically to pull up the muzzle on that 5-inch barrel. My brother wears jeans nearly constantly, and most of his jeans stay a brilliant blue, by some strange and unnatural miracle. I thought that a leather, pancake holster that was dyed and textured to mimick denim was in order. For concealed carry, if the holster flashed, it would be camouflaged against his jeans. So, I went to work building him a holster (with hidden stitching as has become my calling card), with the stamped texture and vague coloration of a pair of jeans. I'm not ashamed of what I was able to turn out.

[So sorry. Pictures pending.]

Then, I met my most recent challenge. The original, purple, cross-draw holster that I made for my lovely wife outlived its usefulness. For whatever reason, the leather had become quite soft. This is the only one of my holsters that has done this. The ears on the sides became floppy, and the body became very soft as well, and the holster's retention went to pot. I couldn't quite figure it out. She had been complaining that the cross-draw format was not nearly as useful as she had originally imagined it would be. Women's jackets are quite a bit shorter than men's as well. Have you ever noticed that a ladies' jacket hems just below the top of the back pockets whereas a men's jacket will often extend below the bottom of the back pocket? This adds to the fact that a woman cannot carry the same holster that a man can. Jenni was constantly flashing the bottom of her purple holster when she bent over. She said that she would like something strong-side, high-rise, in the hidden-stitched format that my more recent holsters have been. I came up with something that looks like it should live on the bottom of the ocean, and performs its job quite well. Nearly the entire holster sits over the bottom-line of the belt, and it is not tempted to flop over from the gravitational pull of the stainless steel revolver. Remember how I said that I couldn't do pink? How about this pink and purple, marbled beauty with a shimmery pearl coat on top of it?

It almost seems to change color when the light source changes a little.

Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of this one. So far, Jen has been wearing it for a couple of days, and she loves it! I have to tell you that it kind of makes me wish for the next project.

Attempting a High-Brow Blog

2009-01-28T12:42:00.002-06:00

It looks like my use of language has been consistent with my PG goal:

And, my attempt at using plain English that isn't too terribly simple:

Stay tuned, folks! I've got some new material (well, updates on previous stuff mainly) that I've been working on!

Jen's hair dryer

2009-01-21T19:42:00.002-06:00

When we get out of the shower recently, my wife has been blow-drying her hair. I can't say that I really blame her for that. She is growing it out, and it has gotten pretty cold around here. Her hair is now just past her shoulders, which is the longest it's been in ages, and it looks sexy and wonderful! It's also thick, and tends to hold a lot of water for a long time. I would really feel terrible if she went out in the below freezing with a sopping wet head and caught pneumonia or something. I'd feel bad.

We have a teeny tiny little house. I've seen smaller and I've known people who lived in smaller, but this place feels crowded. We do have what they call 'a bath and a half.' I was not familiar with this term prior to shopping homes. This is when they started to build a house with two bathrooms, but they got lazy or ran out of concrete before they were able to pour that last ten square feet that a bath tub or shower stall would take. So, it's got a full bathroom and a half-assed bath room, hence 'bath and a half.'

The full bathroom is where we shower (obviously) and that's where the kitties take care of their business, since Jenni taught them to use the toilet (well, mostly) because we didn't want to deal with a litter box. The outlet in there has an intermittent supply problem, so we keep electronics like my shaver or Jenni's hair dryer in the 'half' bath. We keep the kitties' food and water in the larger one, and pretty much keep the kitties shut out of the bedrooms. The little half-bath is also where our tooth brushes live, as nobody wants to brush their teeth with a tooth brush that a cat has knocked into the toilet and then pooped on.

So, Jenni has this hair dryer that you could bake bread with as long as you could block the wind so the dough wouldn't blow away. It's enourmous! Do you remember the hair dryer in Space Balls? Yeah, it's pretty much just like that but purple. This beast moves about 1,700-cfm of air heated across a 19,000-btu burner inside of it. I'm pretty sure that it was forged in the depths of Mordor. I imagine that you have seen such monstrosities before. Like, if Elvis wanted to keep his hair dry during a concert, this would do it, except for the fact that it produces about as many decibels as a 757 coming off the runway, so you wouldn't be able to hear him. They should have had one of these to do extermination duty in the Tribbles episode of Star Trek.

By comparison, the 'half' bath, as it is so known, has become the Grand Central of getting ready in the morning. The kid brushes his teeth in there because I don't think that any of us should have to brush with kitty poo (although with 9-year-old hygiene, sometimes his breath smells like it). Nobody should have to brush with kitty poo. They have thought that waterboarding was okie-dokie, but they never made any convicted terrorists brush with kitty poo. That's just nasty. Jen and I brush our teeth in there, I shave in there, and Jenni uses her enormous hair dryer (which I can't remember whether it was made by Garrett or Boeing) in there.

The bathroom is fifty-two inches by fifty-five inches - literally. I am not exaggerating or making a joke there. In less than twenty square feet, the toilet and sink taking up most of it, with kiddo doing a light, once-over on his teeth and me running my aging electric shaver over my face, Jenni is producing a small, heated hurricane under that miniscule patch of eight-foot ceiling. About ten seconds into her switching it on (which dims the lights - no exaggeration), my eyeballs start to dry out on the outside and shrivel up from the inside. My throat goes dry and my teeth recede. I imagine a knight of the crusades standing in my bedroom saying "He chose poorly."

Please allow me to back-peddle for a minute. I don't blame Jenni at all. (1) She pretty much has to dry her hair before we leave in the morning, and one of the big reasons that she's growing her hair out is because I like it long. (2) She pretty much has to use the hair dryer in the half-assed bath rather than the... I was going to call it a full-size, but even the bigger bathroom is still more like a compact, but that's not the point. (3) We are not morning people. Time is of the essence, as we must maximize our efficiency when we wake up, because we will milk every precious moment of sleep that we can prior to soccumbing to the cruel will of dawn, and all that she brings with her. Therefore, she has to use the most efficient method possible to dry her hair, i. e. Giant Purple People Blower. Furthermore, she has to use it while the rest of our little clan are in the same closet - water closet that is!

So, I'm torn. I'm very annoyed with my nemesis, Jenni's Turbine of Death, especially when used in the smallest room in the house with the entire occupants of the Evyl Robot Empyre crammed in there. On the other hand, there's no other choice right now. One day, maybe there will be a wing of the house that has a wind tunnel with a furnace at one end. That would come close to matching what she's using right now, and I could be in another room altogether. --and that would make me happy. I like to be with my wife and son for a lot of stuff, but I could never see that hair dryer again and be perfectly happy. It is to Jenni's hair as kitty poo is to kitties; I may hate it, but without it, kitties would explode. The lesser of two evils, you know? Well, I'm running low on whiskey and at the risk of going dry, I'm going to wrap it up here.

I'd like to again thank both of my readers to reading the nearly incoherent rantings of somebody that just doesn't know when to quit. Ah, I... Iah rilllly gove you luys!
*crash as I hit the floor*

W - The President - Part IV - Finale

2009-01-21T12:57:00.003-06:00

Dear Mr. Former President Bush,

For eight years, you have served us. You expected us to do nothing in return, but you just kept on making the tough choices that only the most decent of people would have to make in your position. Up against opposition both inside and outside of the country that you love - that both of us love - you ignored your critics and only kept making those tough choices. You did a thankless job, and you deserve many thanks for it.

I would salute you, but I have not earned the right. Having never served in the great U. S. military myself, I have not earned the right to salute at all - much less salute one of the finer Commanders-In-Chief that this country has had. I know that many would argue with me on that point, or shake their head and call me simple or worse, but it them that are mistaken. It is they who cannot see the good that you have done for us. If they could get over their own jaded pride, they would thank you too.

When you stood in front of the American People, declared a war on terror, and said that if terrorists were going to attack U. S. soil again, they would have to go through you, I will admit that I was not one of those in the crowd cheering your words. I thought you were crazy for saying that. Others cheered because of the promise, but I was skeptical because of the loftiness of that promise. I didn't see any way that we could possibly mount a successful attack on such a specter as 'terror.' To me, the proposal to hunt down terrorists and those that harbor them sounded much like flailing at smoke. But, you kept your word, and for that I will gladly and humbly admit that I was wrong. Thank you for that.

You successfully pushed to spread Freedom and Liberty to places where it has previously been foreign. You pushed to send medicine and medical research to places were there were no such things previously. You fought to research cures for some of the more resistant and ravaging illnesses that we as humans have faced. The people of the world owe you a debt of gratitude for the humanitarian service you have so freely given. And today, America has allies that were enemies ten years ago.

The lines on your face and the gray in your hair that were not there eight years ago bear witness to how tirelessly you have served us. History will show that you were among the greatest of servants, unshakable in your convictions, with strong faith, and a heart as big as your home state. We have only ever seen you show deep, personal respect to the people around you, whether the press, your staff, members of the armed forces, or random citizens. That's probably the reason you never tired of serving - when you looked at people you saw individuals with their own views, problems, leanings, personalities, and individual life story. Nobody is simply a number to you. You deserve our deepest gratitude for that.

Yesterday evening, your plane flew over my house at about 6:00. At least we assume it was you. I don't know who else would have been flying through the area in a four-engine jet escorted by a handful of Chinooks. It was a bittersweet moment for my family and me. We hate to see you go, but we know that it is time. You have earned your retirement, and you deserve to relax. I hope that you were able to impart some of your wisdom to your successor in the short time that you worked with him prior to handing over the office. I suppose that time will tell.

I have seen others expressing their appreciation for you as well. Some of them have been no surprise at all while others seem the most unlikely to sing your praise, but their words are heartfelt, thoughtful, and relatable. With all of the excitement over the new President, you ought to know that there are those of us out here that appreciate you, and will tip our hat to your leaving office with only the most sincere of reverence.

So, here's to you, Mr. Bush! Rest well and God bless! Keep the faith, and know that you are appreciated. Next time I'm coming through Crawford, I'll bring the beer.

Sincerely,

Evyl Robot Michael

Birthday Ruger for the Kid

2009-01-18T16:39:00.002-06:00

The ten-year mark is a big deal. I abhor the whole 'tween' term, but I have to admit that it does have some merit to it. When you turn ten, you are no longer a little kid. You (hopefully) have learned some critical thinking skills, consideration for other's feelings, and the ability to make some decisions on your own. My son will have his tenth birthday on February 17, 2009. When Jenni and I got into shooting last January, it was in the understanding that everyone in our household would learn shooting and safe gun handling. I was the first one to actually get a handgun, but I wanted Jenni to learn to handle and shoot it as well. I also expected to teach our kid to act properly around and with guns. Little did I know that we would all three quickly become enthusiasts.

The two of us have been talking for some time about getting Isaac his own gun. He handles them well, he shoots well, and it seems to increase his sense of responsibility and self-respect when he practices shooting. I'm telling you that he does his school work better when he's getting his range time in! So, we had pretty much decided to get a Ruger 10/22 for him for his birthday. The plan was for us to get the rifle and go to the farm on the weekend closest to his birthday to break it in. We fell onto a great deal on one at the local pawn shop on Friday, and the weather turned out beautiful yesterday. If the thermometer did not break 70, I would be shocked! Most of the weekends this time of year are below freezing. The conjunction of the two events was a clear sign to us.

Yesterday morning, we had to be at the retirement home at 9:00 to move Aunt Cheryl from one apartment to another, and we were finished quickly. With the culmination of the Perfect Storm, we gave Isaac the option of getting his birthday present early. Being a nearly-10-year-old boy, he eagerly jumped on the deal.

We went by the pawn shop and got the gun. All the staff and patrons were beaming proudly at us when we handed Isaac's new rifle over to him. A couple of gentlemen addressed him and told him that if he takes really good care of it, he'll have it for the rest of his life. (It always helps to have non-parents reinforce what we tell him.)

We picked up some more shotgun ammo and targets at Academy and headed out to the farm. We set up one target at 50-yards and the other at 100-yards. Jenni and I were not shooting worth cat crap, so the 100-yard target is still in pretty good shape.

The three of us put 120-rounds through the Ruger. Isaac led with a 25-round magazine full, I emptied the next 25, Jenni shot 25, and Isaac finished off the ammo at that point. His first 25 at 50-yards were not bad but not great.

He was clearly still getting the feel for the gun. His mom and dad embarrassing him (see our targets below) in our turns inspired him!

He was tack-driving those tiny bullets and handling the weapon like a diminutive Special Ops soldier! Here's his target:

By the end, he was clearly getting tired.

He played behind us while we shot some rounds through our revolvers and the AR-15. I took a few shots with my 12-gauge. Jenni cut her forehead on the sight of her 627, but I'll let her tell you about that... The Hole in Jennifer's Head At some point, I turned around to check on the kiddo, and he was nowhere to be found. We started to shout for him, and comb the woods.

Needless to say, my heart was going 150-MPH! Jenni had the bright idea to check the car, and there he was. He still had his ear protection on, and had apparently gotten tired of being on his feet. He hadn't heard us calling for him. There are wild animals out there - coyotes, boar, and wolves - things that can be deadly to people. Then again, he could have just wandered into the woods to empty his lima bean-sized bladder for all I knew. As is my way, I had prepared for the worst, hoped for the best, and expected something in between.

I don't need to explain to you why our nerves were too shot for further gunning. Overall, I would call it a good day. If we had been shooting to our optimum, it would have been a great day.

Isaac is on Cloud 9 over his rifle, and a great time was had by all. We have a good kid, and we are very proud of him. Since the gun was used, we decided to thoroughly break it down and give it a deep scrubbing. Isaac was excited to clean and oil his gun, and I helped him with the disassembly and reassembly.

I know he must have been dreaming of shooting last night. He's more excited for our next range trip than either of us are. We have explained to him that it is not a toy, and that it will not live in his room until he's grown up. He freely accepted these ideas, and confessed that he's not at all upset that we did not give him a toy for his birthday.

Eating Out Rant

2009-01-14T12:00:00.002-06:00

My wife sent me this link.

It reminds me of my view on ordering a hamburger out. There is a pre-ordained, universal scale by which red meat is cooked. You can look for yourself if you would like! This is just one reference in which you will find the following:

Rare: Cool RED Center
Medium Rare: Hot RED Center
Medium: Pink Throughout
Medium Well: Slight trace of Pink
Well Done: Browned throughout.

The waitress will ask, 'How do you want your burger cooked?'
Don't ask me if you don't care. Don't ask so I can tell you 'medium rare,' in the hopes that I'll luck into getting a 'medium' burger just so you can bring me a burger that's 'well done' - just like all the other damned burgers in the place! Fire the cook and hire a chef. The lazy-eyed, drooling, 45-IQ'd spatula-flipper can't cook a burger any but ONE way. Own it!
I'm not speaking of fast-food here either. At sit-down restaurants that have the audacity to charge $7-$8 and upwards for a burger, this crap is occurring with more and more frequency around here! Once, I had to send back a certified black angus burger THREE TIMES before I gave up and ordered something else!
Instead of, 'How do you want your burger cooked?' the server needs to say 'Our inbred cook only knows how to burn burgers. You want to order something else, or just find another place to eat?'

Wow! Where did that rant come from?

NRA

2009-01-13T08:34:00.002-06:00

I have suggested that everyone who is not opposed join the NRA. This is something that I had not done, and I felt that it was about time I start practicing what I've been preaching. So, last night, I called the NRA and got three lifetime memberships - one for Jenni, one for my son, and one for myself. They have an easy plan to pay for such an arrangement. If you get the lifetime membership, they will allow you to pay it out at $25.00 per month, interest free, until you have paid the balance. This membership has been $1,000.00 per membership, but recently they have been running some very attractive specials to sweeten the deal for people who have wanted to join, but just have not yet. Now that I have room to talk, you should go join now. All it takes is one simple phone call. They have 1-year memberships, 3-year memberships, and other options beyond that. This organization works very hard to keep people educated about the safe and responsible use of firearms. Just as importantly, this organization works very hard to keep legislation in check, to make sure those 'common sense' measures truly don't infringe on our Second Amendment Rights. Even if you do not own any firearms, even if you don't intend to ever own any firearms, they need your support. Once our rights start getting stepped on, it won't be long before we go down the slippery slope and lose our Freedom and Liberty. Now it is more important than ever for us to make a stand and claim our individual rights and freedoms.

Judgement: Zombie's Bane

2009-01-11T20:22:00.005-06:00

Sometime over the Summer, Jenni and I decided to buy a shotgun. I don't know why we wanted a shotgun, but we did. We had heard and read from several sources that the pump-action shotgun is the definitive king of home defense. That inspired us some, I think. Jenni has had some back and neck problems, so we specifically wanted to get a 20-gauge for the reduced recoil, so it would not beat her up. We went to the corner pawn shop and fondled every shotgun they had in stock. The one that really grabbed us was a beat-up, well-used, 20-gauge, Winchester 1300 pump-action. We walked out of the store with this gun, after parting with $150.00. We stopped and purchased a couple boxes of $6-birdshot, and proceeded to the range. Well, we were hooked.

I showed the gun to my friend, Will, who works at the range. He thought it was interesting that this gun had an improved cylinder choke in the 28-inch barrel. He found it even more interesting that he was able to remove the choke by hand, rather than using the wrench. What was more interesting still, was the fact that the choke tube refused to thread back into the barrel at that point.

Long story short, we decided to lop off the barrel and call it a house gun. When my brother saw the section of barrel that had been cut off, and its choke tube, he nonchalantly screwed the choke tube back into the severed barrel tube. As it turned out, even though the threads in the barrel are damaged, if you hold your mouth right, it is a fairly simple task to thread the choke back in - but that's neither here nor there.

At that point, we had a home defense shotgun. So, we did the only reasonable thing we could think of. We took a home defense shotgun class with Oklahoma Shooting Skills. We did well in our class, and were really having fun with this combat shotgun idea! I started to get the desire to have a 12-gauge of my own. I decided that I really liked the Winchester 1300 platform. The Remington 870, and the Mossberg 500 are both fine weapons, but the Speed Pump is really sweet! I liked wood furniture, so I would probably wind up getting a Defender, and putting a wood stock and for on it, or a 1300 Hunter, and cut down the barrel, and install a magazine extension.

When I got my Christmas bonus at work this year, I kind of knew that I was going to be shopping shotguns. I had seen a few Winchesters around town, but they were either VERY used, or priced higher than I wanted to pay. With the recent ~~gouging~~ increases in gun prices, I wanted to pay about $200.00 for the right gun. At the same pawn shop where we bought the first one, I found a Winchester Ranger Model 120 in very nice condition. I was not familiar with the Ranger, but it looked like a 1300 to me.

So, I googled it on my BlackBerry. It turned out that the Ranger was indeed the entry-level version of the 1300 Hunter. The biggest difference is that the Ranger had an integrated choke rather than changeable tubes. Apparently, that cut the cost down. Either way, it didn't make a difference to me since I would cut off that part of the gun anyway. This gun looked like a brand-new, 20-year-old gun that had a maximum of a hand-full of shells through it, and had spent its life at the back of Grandpa's closet. The biggest flaw was a little rust on the magazine nut, which would be replaced with an extension anyway, so it didn't really matter.

As I was eying it, one of the guys who works in the shop looked at the price tag, which read "$230.00." He remarked that he would sell it for $200.00 after tax. I told him that he had just sold it. After a little more research, I found that this is probably a 1987 gun, and a thorough break-down and deep cleaning revealed no evidence of prior shooting or cleaning. I had to clean the factory preservative goo out of the cracks and crevices, and I had to clean dust out of the bore! Not powder residue, but dust! The 20-gauge became Jenni's gun, and we now had a his and hers set.

So, I took it to the range and put its first fifty shots through it. Jenni's gun has the long fore grip on it, which I thought I liked. Mine came with the short, corn-cob fore. After shooting it, I decided that I really do like the short fore. The gun was exactly what I wanted. The action started loosening up after the deep-cleaning, and even more so after I popped its cherry with the first fifty rounds. I was beginning to get a vision of what I wanted the gun to be.

I decided that I wanted the barrel in the size range of 18.5 to 20.5 inches, to make it handle better, but to remain legally above reproach. I wanted to go with a small magazine extension, to extend the capacity by two or three shells, to not put a bunch of extra weight on the nose. I decided that I wanted some kind of reload saddles, but didn't know what type or format. And, I wanted to go with a tritium night bead, so it would be easier to sight in the zombies and gremlins at night - when they are more likely to strike anyway.

I decided to do my own work as well for a couple of reasons. Firstly, my preferred gunsmith is backed up by about 4-weeks, with the recent frenzy on firearms. I don't have that kind of patience. Secondly, I have access to some tools that make the job easier for a do it yourself gunsmith, and I've done some simple machining before. I even decided to make my own saddles since I couldn't find any that I really liked, and I work leather pretty well.

I ordered two ATI '7-shot' extensions from Impact Guns, as the mag tubes on the 1300 derivatives are identical between the 20-gauge and 12-gauge. I figured I could slap one on each of our guns. I picked up two Meprolight tritium beads - one for each gun. The thread pitch is a 6/48, and I was unable to find a tap in stock anywhere in town. I wound up ordering one from a supplier that I use at work. I was determined not to cut the barrel until I had the mag extensions in hand, to make sure to leave enough steel over the extension. I would then mount my bead, of course.

To pass the time, I stitched together a nice, leather, stock saddle that holds eight shotshells on each side. I put the center-line of the elastic low enough on the stock that the shells do not interfere with the proper cheek-weld. The shells hold securely, and pull out easily with minimal deliberation, and I call it a success. On subsequent trips to the range, I've received many compliments on the saddle.

Then, I found out that there was a problem with both the tap and the magazine extensions. It looked like the tap was delayed by several days, and the folks at Impact Guns couldn't tell me when I would get my extensions. So, I lost my patience, chucked the barrel in the band saw at work, and cut 8-inches off the barrel. I used the belt sander to even my cut and deburr the outside of the cut, and used a 1-inch drill bit to chamfer it. When I got home, I did a little more work with a piece of emery cloth, and touched up the white metal with a cold bluing compound. If you have never used that stuff before, you have got to try it! It is so cool! I applied the fluid with a Q-tip, and watched it go from white to blue-black in seconds!

Fortunately, my tap came in the next day and I was able to drill and tap the barrel for the new sight. The Meprolight sight is a glowing, green dot on both sides, front and back. I suppose that they do this so that you have 180-degrees to align it. I used Locktite to secure the sight in its newly cut threads. I didn't really want the gremlins to have a green dot to shoot at, so I touched the front of the bead with some black fingernail polish to allow its luminescence to come from the back only. A couple days later, I mounted the other sight to Jenni's gun.

Here's my gun, with the barrel length corrected, and the night-sight installed:

Here are both guns together (12-gauge, "Judgement" on top, 20-gauge, "Deliverance" on bottom):

And, here's a low-light shot of both sights (They are a lot brighter in real life. This was just the best pic I could take with the equipment on hand):

Impact Guns keeps telling me that they will ship my magazine extensions any minute. In reality, I have no idea when or if I'll actually get them. We shall see. I'm also thinking of putting an additional side-saddle on the receiver, but I haven't decided yet. Jenni's gun will also get leather saddles, but she wants a new holster for her 640 before that. I may have to post an update at that point.

2/11/09 - UPDATE

Revolvers of the Evyl Robot Empyre

2009-01-06T15:59:00.006-06:00

These are the revolvers that my wife and I have accumulated since we started shooting on January 1, 2008:

From left to right, they are as follows:

1) Jenni's S&W 640-2, "Greed."

Nothing spells out serious quite like a J-frame with five shots of .357 Magnum. The looks grow on you when you spend some time with a Centennial. The stainless frame is heavy enough to tame the full-house Magnums to manageable levels, and the format of the gun makes it easy to hide - even under a petite woman's most feminine of clothing. This gun is fun to shoot, very accurate, and demands that you become a better marksman (or markswoman, for that matter).

2) Our Pre-M10, WWII-era, S&W M&P in .38 Special, "Pride."

This old girl has seen some action, as is shown by the asphalt-themed engraving on the muzzle and cylinder. This is by far the oldest gun in the stable. The blue is mostly gone, but the spirit remains. Even with fixed sights and an obnoxiously high hammer spur, she's proud to put those six shots in the same hole in the center of your target. This one is a piece of history, and a great shooter for beginners and accomplished shooters alike.

3) My S&W M29-10, .44 Magnum with factory engraving, "Lust."

This one is my favorite. She's also my first ever gun. This gun is beautiful and deadly. Shooting full-house Magnums out of a model 29 is a demanding practice, but master it and you will find that it is a tack-driver. Even with lighter loads, the drop in trajectory is negligible at 150-yards! The gun is way more accurate than I am, and one day I hope to truly master it. It deserves that much from me.

4 & 5) My S&W 586L-Comps, "Wrath" (background) and "Gluttony" (foreground).

I bought the first one, "Wrath," as my daily carry. I found that I could shoot it well with either hand, and I liked it so much that I bought the second as a Detroit reload. These babies were built by Smith & Wesson's Performance Center. They have tuned actions, both are cut for moonclips, they are fitted with Trijicon night sights, and they have ported barrels. I haven't been carrying additional reloads yet, as I feel that if 14-shots of .357 Magnum won't get the job done, I need to find a better way out of the fight. I've found that Gluttony's action is a little more smooth, crisp, and consistent than Wrath's. I find that I shoot it a lot more, and it is my right-hand carry. Although I am virtually ambidextrous, I do find that I'm usually a slightly better shot with my right hand. I've been working on my left-handed shooting, and have gotten good with it, but my left lacks the stamina that I've got in my right.

6) Jenni's first gun, a S&W 627PC, "Envy."

And, what gun wouldn't be envious of an eight-shot, .357 Magnum N-Frame tuned by Smith & Wesson's Performance Center, cut for spidery, eight-legged moonclips; fitted with a front gold-bead sight, a ball-detent lock up, and Kim Ahrend's grips? The 5-inch, slab-sided barrel will happily launch all eight bullets through the same hole at any visible distance. The action is so light and crisp that it will spoil a shooter against lesser guns. I don't like to shoot this one in single-action, as the trigger pull is so light and crisp that it is more of a brush than a pull. Truth be told, I don't shoot this one much at all, as it kind of takes some of the challenge out of the sport of target practice. This gun very nearly shoots itself.

As a bonus pic, here are Lust and Envy all snuggled up together:

Now, isn't that cute? As each of you has no doubt already detected, being the astute sleuth that would read my blog, we have picked the theme of The Seven Deadly Sins as names for our revolvers. We've decided to limit this theme to our revolvers, and as we have picked up long guns, we've had to come up with something different yet fitting. We don't have any slide-guns yet, but will have to come up with yet another, similar theme. Since we started with religious concepts with worldly applications, we decided to go with more vague religious concepts for our long guns. Hence, Jenni's 20-gauge is known as "Deliverance," our AR-15 is called "Rapture," and I call my 12-gauge "Judgment." Keep checking back, as I'll get back to that soon. I'm looking forward to posting the transformation of my shotgun from entry-level hunting gun to Judgment: Zombie's Bane!

Jen's Fitness Challenge

2009-01-04T10:48:00.003-06:00

Aw, F! I'm not exactly sure how I got roped into this. But, needless to say, I have committed to getting myself into better shape. I kind of like my current shape. Well, ok. I admit that there are some improvements that I would like to impose on my body. Besides that, life is more fun with an improved body. I'm certainly not going for Hulk or Mr. Universe stats, but there are some things that I am looking forward to doing.

Of course, her crazy New Year Stunt caused me to do some work beyond push-ups and crunches. Jenni was talking about how she wanted to buy a scale so she could post a weekly update on her measurements and weight. I told her that we didn't need to buy a scale since we have a perfectly good one in the garage.

This, my friends is the scale in question. This is after I disassembled it to clean out the spider nest that had been constructed between the viewing lens and the zero. I don't recall whether this one came from Grandma's house, or if I picked it up at a garage sale, but I thought it was beautiful and wanted it, even though we had no use for a scale at the time. It's a vintage Health-O-Meter, a relic of a forgotten era when things were made of a legendary material known as 'metal.' Everything was built with beautiful lines, and everything had an 'O' in the middle of the name - much in the same way that everything has a lower case 'i' at the beginning of it now. Take this Juice-O-Mat for example:

Yes, this was the Golden Age in which a computer was a device as large as a high-school gymnasium, and had the awesome processing power of a modern greeting card today. This device was known as a Calc-O-Tron, I believe. They cost as much as a Banana Republic and could play chess, or do grade-school arithmetic. If these devices were built today, they would be boxy looking, made of plastic, and would be called iHealthmeter, iJuicemat, and iCalctron.

But, I digress. Please allow me to get back to my tangent. Fortunately, I've been feeling very industrious recently. I've been taking pics of my new shotgun, which I'll write a post on soon. I'm trying to get a nice little collection of images together so I can post a graduation from 21-year-old, hunting pump to elegant, zombie bane.

I've been doing quite a bit of organizing, cleaning, and creating, so the restoration of the Health-O-Meter is a logical progression from what I've been doing anyway. As Jen posts pics of her progress, so shall you see the progress on the old scale. I'm thinking of having the case blasted and powder-coated some wacky color. I'm a sucker for red, but a period mint green might be really nice. The lens is pretty scratched up, and I'll probably see if the scratches can be buffed out. It's glass, so I'm not afraid of scorching it on a buffing wheel. I'll probably wind up scraping and painting the guts of the thing. It appears that about half of them were zinc-plated, and the other half were white steel. They have all gone mostly to rust. Thankfully, the steel parts are thick, and should clean and paint easily. The step pad on the surface of this scale is some kind of linoleum or something. It is very brittle, and has been coming apart as we've been handling it for this project. I'll probably replace it with a piece of leather or vinyl or something. Brightly colored urethane might be nice if we decided to go black on the case. I don't know yet. The little chrome bezel has seen better days, but I'm not exactly sure what to do about it yet. I could have it stripped and re-plated, or I might just clean it up and see how it looks after everything else. I suppose I could take it down past the chrome, prime and paint it to match the case. If I did that, I would probably go back over the raised lettering in a different color to bring that out. Well, it shouldn't take me all year to do something about the scale, so I'm sure that you will all get the opportunity to see its transformation.

Oh, yeah - I guess this is where I can get back to the main point, huh? I've made it my goal to gain some weight, trim a couple of inches off my waist and put them on my chest and biceps. I don't think this will be hard to do. I'll try not to change shape too radically, because I don't really want to have to replace my nice clothing all at once. We shall see what we shall see.

100,000-miles

2008-12-30T12:18:00.002-06:00

For the first time ever, my wife and I have managed to roll a car's odometer over the 100,000-mile mark. Neither of us has ever had a new car. Most of the cars that I've owned have had over 100K on them when they have entered my possession. We've seen several cross that wondrous 200,000-mile mark, and we have had one intrepid little BMW 3-series that we managed to get well over the 300,000-mile marker. When we passed that one on, it had something in the neighborhood of 350,000 miles on it. We had to replace the differential twice, it had a salvaged 5-speed gearbox in it, but the original, un-molested engine would purr like a kitten, despite all of its fluid leaks.

At that point in time, we had two non-running Civics (which have since found new homes), a Prelude in a jillion pieces all over the garage (still there), and the BMW. Jenni had the BMW parked at work when a co-worker decided to slam her Jeep into it. The car was still very usable, but it was clear that we did not want to put the time, effort, or money into fixing the car to see how much beyond that 1/3 million miles we could push it. I worked at a Ford dealership at the time, and someone had just traded in their sub-one-year-old Nissan Sentra on a new 3/4-ton pickup (right before the initial massive gas price creep in 2005).

I saw that little 2004 Nissan Sentra SE-R SpecV and decided to look a little more closely at it. The insurance company had made a repair estimate on the BMW, and we started looking into what options we had. The Sentra was new enough that it still had a factory warranty on it. I want to say that it has something like 25,000 miles on the clock. The dealership quoted me a price that was quite attractive. Yes, we could have gotten a new Sentra for that price, but it would not have been the high-compression 2.5-liter mated to a 6-speed mixer atop a stiff suspension with aluminum alloys wrapped around enormous Brembo brakes. It would have simply been a drowsy people mover.

Jenni and I took the car for a test drive one day after work. We had been looking for something light and nimble, with four doors and five seatbelts, newer than anything that we had previously driven, with a little more punch under the hood than your typical people-mover, and we still wanted it to get decent gas mileage. Check, check, check, check, check, check, and check. It looked like we had a winner! We inquired about a trade-in on the beat-up BMW. They told us that they might be able to give us $500.00 on it. I looked at the possibility of selling the Bimmer outright, and it looked like we would be lucky to get $1200.00 out of it in its well-used condition. As it turned out, we donated the old car to a single mother in need through AM Vets or some such organization so we could write it's book value off our taxes.

We were able to get a good loan through our credit union, and used our insurance settlement as a down payment. About a year ago, we were able to refinance the car for a far lower interest rate. The car is sitting just outside the office right now with 100,005-miles on the odometer. To date, we have done fluid and filter changes, replaced the radiator hoses, several sets of tires, replaced the front and rear brake pads on only one occasion, had it in the body shop twice, and it has had two repairs under factory recalls. There is an exhaust hanger that I need to replace, and now it needs spark plugs, an accessory belt, another oil change, an air filter, and another 100K-miles, apparently!

This has been a great car. I really miss my Hondas, but we have enjoyed this Nissan. Honestly, I miss the wagon format. I'm not crazy about owning a black car, and would not have purchased this one had it not nearly dropped into our laps. It's difficult to fault it for reliability or a nagging maintenance schedule. I would eventually like to do some performance work to it. A turbocharger would be nice, but I wouldn't even need to go that extreme to give it a little more oomph. If we did that, I would probably de-badge it and put those cheesy brake-dust shields under the wheels to hide the giant, Italian calipers and make it a real sleeper.

Perhaps in 2012, when we have run it over the 200,000-mile mark, we will trade it in on some high-strung micro-wagon in a non-neutral color. Until then, I look forward to many more years of this car serving the family.

Obama Christmas Song

2008-12-24T08:06:00.002-06:00

Come they told me, Barack Obama
A brand new candidate, Barack Obama
Our hope and change we bring, Barack Obama
To elect him the king, Barack Obama
Barack Obama, Barack Obama

Some socialism Barack Obama
When he comes.

Little candidate, Barack Obama
I am middle-class, Barack Obama
I want government out of my way, Barack Obama
I cling to religion, Barack Obama
Barack Obama, Barack Obama

Shall I make you nervous, Barack Obama,
With my gun?

The NRA nodded, Barack Obama
I set my targets up, Barack Obama
I shot my gun for Him, Barack Obama
I shot my best for Him, Barack Obama,
Barack Obama, Barack Obama,

Then He sneered at me, Barack Obama,
Me and my gun.

The Adventures of the Cats

2008-12-15T10:35:00.002-06:00

As anyone who reads Jenni's blog knows, we have two Siamese cats. I have gathered that they have a recurring adventure while we are gone from the house on our daily routines. You see, being Siamese, they do have strange sounds that they make on various occasions for different things. At night, Emerson will sing about the food. We call it the "Food Is Good" song. Ferrule will stand outside our door early on Saturday mornings and tell us he is there. Each of them has their own call that they make when they are ready to poop - just so we know. Sometimes, when we get home from work, they frantically intercept us at the door, emphatically yelling and yowling at us. On these days, they have had an adventure of epic proportions that goes something like this...

Michael, Jenni, and Isaac had left the house that morning to go to wherever it is they go when it's lazy sleep time for ten hours everyday. The kitties, Emerson and Ferrule, had just settled into the lounge chair and gotten comfortable for their daily slumber when they were startled by a strange sound. It sounded as though someone was coming in the front door, but the family was not due home for hours. Heidi barked from within her crate. The two cats scurried into the entry hall, where before them stood a sparkling figure. She was like the humans, but only about 3-feet tall. She wore a shimmering dress, and had wings that looked like cicada wings. (mmmmmm, cicadas! *nom, nom, nom*) She carried a wand in her left hand. She spoke to the two cats in a lovely, crystal voice, "Where are your masters?"

"Yeouw?" the two responded.

"Let's try that again, shall we?" she said as she waved her wand at them. Magical sparkles fell from her wand and sprinkled all over the two cats.

"Ur wandz!" Ferrule giggled, "LOL! It makez me tikklez!"

"WTF?!?!?!!1!" Exclaimed Emerson in response, "U canz talk teh hooman talks!"

Ferrule said, "OMG! Ur rite!" realizing that Emerson was correct, "U kan 2!"

"That's right!" said the fairy in the hall, "I have granted you Lolspeak so that we can communicate. I'm the Fairy Queen, and I have some good news for your masters. Where are they?"

"Theys all gon 2 wurk rite now," Ferrule said.

"...2 git teh moneez 2 git teh fud!" Emerson added.

"Oh, I see," the Fairy Queen said thoughtfully. "Well, they have been chosen to receive The Magical Treasure of the Fairies. Unfortunately, I will have to go back to the Fairy Kingdom soon, and I will not be able to come back for a long time."

"OH NOEZ!" The cats exclaimed in unison.

"But," she continued, "maybe I could show you where the treasure is, and then you could tell your masters about it when they get home?"

The cats were very excited by this idea. The Fairy Queen waved her magic wand again, and both cats were able to fly. "Now, follow me and I'll show you where the treasure is!" Over the course of the day, Emerson and Ferrule saw wonders that cannot be described. They knew that they would haz cheezburgers 4 shur! After a long, and tiring journey, they found themselves back in their own home, saying good-bye to their new friend, the Fairy Queen.

"I have to go now," she said to them, "but you will tell your masters about the Magical Treasure, and where to find it, right?"

"O ya," Emerson said.

"We b gud kittehs an tell teh hoomans wher iz teh trezur," Ferrule said.

And then, the Fairy Queen departed. Even as excited as the two cats were, they quickly dozed back to sleep in their favorite chair, waiting for the return of the family. A little while later, they were awakened by the sound of the front door again. They were so excited, they ran to the door in anticipation. They could hear the key working the bolt. They could hear the voices of the humans as the door opened. As the family made their way in, the two cats were so excited that they couldn't contain themselves. They pushed into the doorway to meet the incoming people and started shouting the news.

"Meow! Wow! Mowowow!" Alas, it seemed as though their speech had gone away with the Fairy Queen, but that would not deter them. They only tried harder, and shouted louder, "MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW! NNNNNGGOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW! MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWOOOOOWWWWW!" They tried to climb the legs of their masters, as if to say "Why don't you understand? This is IMPORTANT! Listen to what we are saying!"

Of course, the cats bum-rushing us at the door is completely true. The rest of the story is inferred, of course. When we have this type of situation, we check their food and water, of course. We also make sure that their privies are not soiled. We make sure that none of their obvious needs are neglected, and they never are. They assault us with such wanton force that the rest of the above story is the only remotely reasonable explanation.

Wedding Anniversary Plinking

2008-12-08T13:00:00.002-06:00

Friday, December 5, 2008 marked the ten-year anniversary of the day that Jenni and I became legally married in the eyes of The State and our friends and family. Friday was not terribly note-worthy as we had things that we had to take care of during the day. Saturday, we had a brief and heartfelt restatement of vows. We promised to do even better for each other than we have in the previous decade. We confessed that the last ten have been largely blissful (but even the rough spots have only drawn us closer together), and we are each looking forward to whatever adventures we wander into together in the future.

The weather was idyllically gorgeous, and we held our restatement at the family property in Luther, OK, where we frequently camp. After our ~10-minute 'ceremony', we changed into our grubbies, and did some very romantic target shooting. We decided to try some 150-yard plinking with our M4 carbine, across its iron sights. This is the first rifle that either of us has spent any time shooting, and this was the first time that we had attempted any such reach with a firearm. This was also the first time that I've adjusted sights on a gun, so please bear with my left-pull. Here is the last 5-shot group that I put downrange:

That would be a 5-shot group that measures 3-inches across and 7-inches high. At 150-yards. Across iron sights. On a carbine. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to seeing if I can duplicate or improve upon these results on the next try.

Jenni also shot well, but did not embarrass me, much to my complete surprise. It seems like we usually trade off who will do better at the range from session to session, but she usually beats me to the punch-line on whatever new experience of its type. I fully expected her final group to be half of what mine was in this endeavor. It's not that she was not shooting well, it's that this was outstanding - that is to say that I far exceeded my expectations in this shooting attempt.

The pattern suggests that we always do our best shooting outdoors. I believe that the indoor gun-range is a head-game. I think that when the target is rolled all the way out to the maximum 30-yards, and there's that much paper to hit, something in my psyche won't completely take it seriously. When I'm aiming at a 6- to 18-inch target at some serious yardage, out in the open, that part of my brain gets nervous and I perform better. If I could figure out how to consciously alter that perception, I believe I could perform a lot better while burning far less ammo.

I'm happy with how things went on Saturday. Like I told my wife then, I'm more in love with her now than I was in the beginning, and I was crazy about her then. I did what I consider to be some damned fine shooting. The weather was great, and it was a feel-good weekend in general. Sometimes, it's just hard to complain.

AWB 2009

2008-11-26T12:29:00.002-06:00

The Libocrats will defend Mr. Obama against the Conservatives' fears of the proposed Assault Weapons Ban, saying that every time a Democrat takes office, we get scared that guns will be taken away. I would say that it is a well-founded fear, as this is exactly what happened the last time we had a Democrat in the White House, and it is part of Obama's Agenda of Change. The reason the '94 ban was allowed to expire in 2004 is that it very simply did not do any good.

So, the question is WHY? Why does Mr. Obama want to take steps towards further disarming The People? The actual text on Obama's website reads:

Address Gun Violence in Cities: Obama and Biden would repeal the Tiahrt Amendment, which restricts the ability of local law enforcement to access important gun trace information, and give police officers across the nation the tools they need to solve gun crimes and fight the illegal arms trade. Obama and Biden also favor commonsense measures that respect the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from children and from criminals. They support closing the gun show loophole and making guns in this country childproof. They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent.

This is the way I read it:

~~Address Gun~~ Generate Escalated Violence in Cities: Obama and Biden would repeal the Tiahrt Amendment, in purcuit of their totalitarianistic goals, which restricts the ability of local law enforcement to access important gun trace information for the purpose of individual privacy, as well as the protection of law enforcement agencies, and give police officers across the nation the ~~tools~~ Gestapo strong-arm tactics they need in the guise to allegedly solve gun crimes and fight the illegal arms trade, but in effect, only violate the privacy of law-abiding citizens. Obama and Biden also favor ~~commonsense~~ unconstitutional measures that ~~respect~~ pay lip service to the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from ~~children and from criminals~~ those otherwise law-abiding citizens that would oppose an oppressive government - as our Founding Fathers intended. They support closing the imaginary gun show loophole and making guns in this country ~~childproof~~ for the government only. They also support making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent because they are either too stupid to see that it had no positive effects the first time around, or they have another agenda.

If I sound nutty, please try to keep an open mind and humor me for just a moment - even if you will leave my blog shaking your head at what a wack-job I am. If you followed my links, and/or did a little Googling on your own, or know a little history from the last two decades, you will see that the AWB whose duration was from 1994-2004 had NO positive effect on crime rates. This is why it was allowed to expire ten years after its inception. This history teaches us that the law was useless to its purpose of reducing violent crime.

Mr. Obama is not stupid, nor is Mr. Biden. They are smart enough men to know that the previous law did nothing towards its stated purpose. Why then, would they want to push for a permanent version of the same law? It is obviously not for the reasons stated, therefore it has to be for other reasons. What are those reasons? That's the million-dollar question. What hidden agenda do the newly elected have in mind that is supported by the 2008 Assault Weapons Ban?

Any answer to that question explains exactly what the Conservatives are so afraid of.

Science as a Religion?

2008-11-18T13:22:00.002-06:00

Let's think back to people in 1900 in, say, New York. If they worried about people in 2000, what would they worry about? Probably: Where would people get enough horses? And what would they do about all the horseshit? Horse pollution was bad in 1900, think how much worse it would be a century later, with so many more people riding horses?

Who could not love the work of Michael Chriton? This one is worth a read in its entirety.

Linkarooni

Gossip and Rumors

2008-11-17T12:19:00.002-06:00

It is a fairly accepted fact that gossip is one of the more destructive forces in society. If you ruin someone's reputation, it can often never be repaired. I used to be a courtesy driver for the service department at a local Ford dealership. I would not recommend that anyone pursue a career as a courtesy driver. It is a thankless job. I would never have accepted the position had it not been sweetened by the empty promises of higher employment in the company. I didn't get anything from that company that I did not fight to get.

I would have done well to be driving an armored version of a Cobra with run-flat tires, non-descript paint job, and no license plates. Alas, my assigned vehicle was a Windstar minivan with the dealership name, logo, and phone number in giant sheets of vinyl pasted all over the little van. People in general are pissy, moany turds that have nothing better to do than piss and moan about everything. Since you are reading my blog, you are clearly no stranger to this concept.

As a matter of routine, there were road complaints that were directed to the service managers about their terrible drivers. Several times, the service manager would pull me into his office to tell me that I had complaints called in on my. You know those "how's my driving?" stickers? People really take advantage of those. The service manager really was a nice guy, and made it a point to tell me that he was pretty sure that these calls were B. S., but that he had to let me know about them. I think his philosophy was that if I was the bat-out-of-hell that the callers wanted to believe I was, I would straighten up my act on the honor system. It seemed reasonable to me.

In one of these encounters, he offhandedly commented that if a complaint call came in that I had flipped someone off, that we would be having a different conversation. His office door was open at the time, and his office was near the front desk. There sat the front desk lady. She had nothing better to do than eavesdrop, gossip, and screw somebody else's husband in her off time. What she observed was that I was in the boss' office, and he said something about a complaint of me flipping someone off. This is where the gossip started.

All of a sudden, every employee of the dealership was all-a-titter about how I had gotten in trouble for flipping someone off on the road. First of all, I find the hand gesture to be grotesque and a completely unintelligent cliche. If I am to make a disgusting hand gesture at someone, I'll get creative with it. They will feel unclean for some time after the fact. If I am going to go to the trouble, I will make them feel disturbed and violated. Usually, that's only in response to being flipped off. It's like, "Oh, I know you didn't just go there. Try this one on for size, honey!" Suffice it to say that I did not make hand gestures from my van.

There were a few brave souls that started asking me about flipping people off on the road. After the first couple, I decided to handle the situation like I prefer to handle most such situations - up the ante. My response went from denial to embellishment as follows:

Dude, no. Get it right. If you are going to be talking about what I did on the road, at least find out what really happened. It was just like this:

I was speeding down the highway while texting and listening to heavy metal as loud as I could crank the stereo. I had some really important businessmen that had places to be in the van with me, so I needed all the motivation I could get to keep that gas pedal well-planted against the floorboards.

All of a sudden, this school bus came out from nowhere! Some nun was driving the bus, and it was full of orphans, and she totally cut me off. So, I ran her off the road. I made a second pass back by to see where she had run off the road. When I got out, I could see the burning remains of the bus in the ditch. I flipped them off as they all burned alive, and pissed on the smoking mess.

I then cackled loudly as I burned the tires and took off down the road. I suppose the nun was able to drag herself from the wreckage and make the complaint call. I knew that I should have finished her off when I had the chance...

The strangest thing happened. Nobody was interested in talking about my escapades anymore. I don't think that this approach would work every time rumors are flying about, but it worked like a charm there!

Hail To The Chief IV. - What Can You Do?

2008-11-11T12:42:00.002-06:00

So, at this point, you may find yourself saying, "But Michael, what can I do?" In my humble opinion, the answer is several things.

1) Seek training and gun ownership if you have not yet done so. Getting either right now will be tricky with the whole rush, but give it a little while. Be patient. There will be no bans immediately. There will be no passing of the torch until January, and even then, new legislation takes time. The initial fireams madhouse rush will die down a little before any bad laws are passed. Keep your ear to the ground, and opportunities will come up. Check pawn shops and gun shops alike. Make a short list of what guns you would like to own, prioritize it, and assign a range of price that you would be willing to pay for each piece. When you buy a gun, practice, practice, practice. The propensity of responsible gun owners is a wonderful argument against the antis.

2) Get your CCW Permit/CHL if it is available in your state. If the powers that be can make a correlation between the number of active permits and the census numbers, and show a shockingly high number of permit carriers, disarming the populace is obviously going to be an inconvenient task. Even if you don't think that you will carry, it's still nice to have the option.

3) Join the NRA. I really need to practice what I preach on this one. I'm still trying to recover from #1, so finances have been a little thin lately. Even so, this organization is a powerful ally in the fight for your 2nd Amendment Rights, and needs the monetary support of new members more now than ever. In addition, a healthy member roster is a weapon that they can use against the opposition. Your state may also have similar associations on the state level.

4) If your state allows it, open carry. This is a controversial point to make, but I'm making it anyway. People who are against open carry form two camps. On the one extreme, you have the antis. They think that if everyone is carrying a visible handgun, as in the Old West, that duels will spring forth, and blood will flow in the streets. This hasn't been a problem in any state where it is legally practiced. On the other extreme, you have the tactical gunnies. They say that you should keep your gun hidden so that you have the element of surprise on the bad guy. I say that if normal people are commonly seen with a side-arm, it removes the element of fear from the would-be antis - which is what makes an anti an anti in the first place. In other words, you don't open carry for the tactical arrangement, you open carry for the political statement. If people are never exposed to guns except for TV and movies, the message is that cops and bad guys carry guns. If they see their friends and neighbors, fellow PTO members, grocery store patrons, and everyone that they interact with on a daily basis carrying openly, the message is that normal, responsible, good people have guns. I think this is better, and makes anti-gun legislation nearly impossible to pass.

5) Write to your State Representative. Don't send them an email, or blog about it. Put a letter on paper telling them how you feel about the threat to your Second Amendment rights. Tell them courteously, in no uncertain terms that you do not intend to support a politician that does not represent you.

6) Pray that we don't lose too much over the next two years.

Hail To The Chief III. - Kneejerk Reaction

2008-11-10T12:43:00.002-06:00

On many of the gun forums that I frequent such as The High Road, The Firing Line, and The Gun Counter, the word is flying around that gun stores are being stormed in response to the election results. I emailed with my friend who works at H&H Gunrange about the current situation. This is an enviable facility, dedicated to firearms education, practice, and sales, in a safe, family-friendly environment. Their sales floor is amazing. Anyone who has the slightest interest in firearms should pay them a visit if they ever happen through the Okc area.

What I could ascertain from the rumors on the forums is that pretty much every gun shop had been completely cleaned-out by customer demand by the weekend. This spawned a personal desire to do some research on my part. My wife and I paid visit to a couple of pawn shops that we frequent, looking at firearms. Both of them had dramatically reduced inventory, but were not out of firearms. My friend said that AR-15 inventory is "thin", that they have but one AK-47 left in inventory, and that they are sold out of Glocks and several other handguns. He said that it is as though they have done a month's worth of business in half a week. Contrary to what I had read on the internet, most of the sales seem to be among people who were planning on their purchases already, but the election results simply rushed their planned actions.

On his website, Obama has stated that he intends to push for another assault weapons ban, but to make it permanent this time around. My wife pointed out that there have been some er... problems on Obama's website. It is my hope that the clear message that The American People have sent is that we do not intend to let go of our Second Amendment Rights. Mr. Obama is not at all a stupid person. I believe that he is a short-sighted, arrogant, naive elitest, but not stupid in the least. I want to believe that he sees the message and is reconsidering some of his stances, and that is the explanation of the site being down this morning.

It is not at all uncommon for a politician to change their stances on certain issues due to public response. Frankly, that is the mark of a good leader. These people work for us. When they see that they are making us unhappy, they should consider modifying their goals. As of this moment (11/10/2008 at 13:07), his website seems to be mysteriously devoid of any talk of weapons bans. A quick search on the site for "assault weapons" brings up short biographies on each of Barack Obama and Joe Biden. The "Agenda" tab of the site shows nothing concerning future weapons bans. As a last-ditch effort, searching on the keyword "weapon" adds a third piece to the above mentioned search results. This third one notes that they plan on keeping Iran from developing a nuclear weapon.

Could it be that this man intends to listen to The People after all? We can only hope. It was an electorate landslide, but a slim margin of the popular vote. The fact of the matter is that at most, the very slight majority voted for him. There are still doubts that it was even that many of us. It would serve this upcoming administration well to listen to The People. Whether an assault weapons ban is still in the works or not is not clear right now, but the message has been sent, and seems to have been received.

I believe that we all believe in change, but some of us want the right kind of change. There is a huge group of us that don't want some vacuous, mysterious, unknown change. I will keep praying for these men, and I will keep up the hope that we see positive change. I'm not holding my breath, but I do still want to be wrong about them. I, like many others, have been frightened about some of the change that may come with this passing of the torch, but am nearly as frightened of the possible reactions to such change. I don't want to see a civil war or a return of terrorist attacks. I don't want to go into exile because of my beliefs. Granted, these would be radical reactions, but the change that he seems to have proposed is radical as well.

Only time will tell, and we have not cleared the rapids by a long shot. We must hold on to hope, and we must hold this new administration accountable for what kind of change is acceptable. That is the bottom line. In the meantime, I know that many will be bolstering their arsenals, stocking up on weapons, ammunition, and high-capacity magazines. I can't say that I blame them in the least, and I hope that it is a clear message to those that might attempts to infringe upon the rights to such things. We may have voted in different ways, but ultimately, we are all in this boat together. If we row in different directions, who knows where we'll end up? Pray for whatever is right, hope for the best, and communicate with those that we have appointed as our leaders - by any and all means possible.

Hail To The Chief II. -Concerning My Best Friends

2008-11-07T12:31:00.003-06:00

The way of things is odd, to say the least.

When I got married, I married my best friend. After nearly ten years, she remains my best friend and my soul-mate. We have made it a point to grow closer together rather than drifting apart, as I have seen many couples do with the weathering of the years. At this point, it just seems natural to spend the time together that we do. Most people who meet us have no idea that we have been together for so long. I like it this way. I'm looking forward to the next decade with her and the one after that, so on and so forth.

If you are close friends with your family, i. e. parents, siblings, cousins, count yourself as fortunate. This is a blessing, and not to be taken for granted. My wife and I are very close to my brother and sister in law. I value their friendship and their place in my life. Granted, I may get annoyed at them from time to time, but that is the way of siblings, isn't it? If you don't get annoyed at them, you probably aren't that close.

All that being said, I come to inner-circle best friends. I have three best friends that don't fit into any of the above categories (arguably). I'm speaking of non-blood relatives that are close enough friends that they may as well be. These three friends in no particular order are Darren, Beej, and Sean. Something else that these three people share in common other than essentially being non-blood relatives to me is that they all three voted for Barack Obama on Tuesday, and I don't think any less of them for it.

I've known Beej since I was in second grade. Back then, she was a squirrelly little kid, and went by Bridget. Of course, I was also a squirrelly little kid, and I was known as Michael. Later, she decided to go by her initials, B. J. She found that this new moniker had mixed results, and her group of friends settled into calling her "Beej," even in written word. Beej is a highly gifted, highly intellectual individual that has had the most unique personal story that I can recall. But, I would have to let her tell you about that on her own time and motivation. When Jenni and I took up handgunning in January, 2008, it kind of scared Beej at first. She wanted to come for a range session with us just to see what it was about. After her first trip to the range, she was hooked and the disease took her over. She now has a Smith & Wesson revolver and a Sig 9mm and has been thinking about getting herself a shotgun and some formal training. She thoughtfully listens to and reads our conservative views, but doesn't embrace them on our word. I'm proud of her for that. If everyone could openly consider all viewpoints and come up with their own independently, the world would be a better place to live.

I've known Darren for nearly as long as Beej. I can't remember whether it was in late grade school or junior high when Darren and I met. Darren has done some really crazy stuff in his life. He has a cabin out in the woods, but currently leads the career military life with his wife who is a nurse for the United States. In high school, Darren and I chased after some of the same girls. We've always had our differences, and never let them bother us. I've always been an opinionated fan of Japanese cars, and he has always been vocal about his Pontiacs. There have been times that we poked fun at each other for such differences, but at the end of the day, we'll drink from the same scotch bottle. I think it was during the 2004 election that I discovered how vastly different our political views were. I have to admit that I was shocked at the time. Darren has had points in his life when I thought to myself, "Dear Lord, he's going to kill himself." But such is they way with young men, I suppose. This is how we grow into full-fledged, grown men. I can't help but wonder if he thought the same of me from time to time.

I have been friends with Sean for the shortest amount of time of any of these three dear friends. I met Sean about 7 years ago maybe? We were fast friends from day one. He and I were both driving (and modifying) 1983 Honda Civic Station Wagons. He had commented that he wanted to lower his. Without hesitation, I asked Sean to buy the supplies needed and to bring them to my house on my day off, and we would lower his car. I didn't really know the first thing about him, but he struck me as a good person. My first impression of him could not have been more right. Sean and I got to know each other over the engine compartments of many Japanese cars. Together, we fixed some basket cases, and screwed up perfectly good drivers in the pursuit of making them perform better. I have fond memories of some of those monstrosities, which took on personalities of their own and were usually unfit for public roads in their final forms. Sean is a metal man. He has a heart made of solid gold, a mind like a steel trap, iron convictions, and if I had a sister, I would do everything in my power to marry her off to him so we actually could be brothers.

As I said before, all three of them voted for BHO. I find it incredibly interesting that I felt so very strongly about this election - that it was not a matter of black and white, or right and left but to me it had become a matter of right and wrong or good and evil - and yet, the three people that I would consider family except for the lack of blood relation each disagreed with me on this point. Of course, with the way my brain works, I'm trying to find correlation - some sort of cause-and-effect situation in or about my life that could explain what would seem to be such an odd coincidence. I have spoken with each of them in turn about the election. They all know that I'm opinionated and outspoken (that's just the nice way of saying a big-mouthed punk). A great friend will allow that and still care about you. Each of them has seemed hesitant to touch the issue to varying degrees, I suppose in fear that they would elicit my opinion maybe? I shudder to think that that could be the case!

Ultimately, I hope they find that I am proud that my friends think about things, and have individual beliefs and opinions. I hope they know that when it comes down to it, we agree on all of the important stuff. I believe that God's Will is the One Constant, and though different stuff happens because of what we as people do, His Plans will come about one way or another. I am a believer in the strength of the individual. I am a believer in unity in small groups. Once you really get down to it, these people - my immediate family, my extended family, and my adopted family - are more important than all the people in DC rolled up into one big, corrupt ball. As I wrote in my previous entry, I hope they are right and I am wrong on this one. I also hope that such petty things never damage friendships like these.

(By the way, I still think you guys voted wrong! ;-P)

Hail To The Chief.

2008-11-05T09:10:00.003-06:00

To the majority voters who will doubtlessly not read my blog,

I do not address this blog entry to my regular readers, as that would be preaching to the choir... Well, it would be more like preaching to the duet, but that's not the point. My readers know where I stand and why I stand where I do. This blog entry is addressed to the hopefuls that want change in government. You wanted change, and you got it. We shall see if this is the change that you had in mind. My wager is that this is not going to turn out to be the change that you bargained for. Fasten your seat belts, Americans. It's going to be a rough ride.

Yesterday morning, I stood in line with my wife and son at 6:15 a. m. to cast my vote. There were three people in front of us in the line outside the locked doors. By the time 7:00 rolled around, there were at least 200 people in line behind us. We were all aware that history was in the making. The energy was electric. Young and old were there, men and women, civilians and a police officer. A woman in a wheelchair had come to cast her vote. My son got to bear witness to an event whose magnitude did not strike him at the time. One day, he will think back on it and realize the heft of the experience.

I voted for the man who has proven his natural born citizenship. I voted for the man who has proven his allegiance with the United States of America. I voted for the man that has served us, and is committed to serve us moving forward. I voted for the man who has no questionable acquaintances. I voted for the man whom we honestly need more in Congress than we do in the White House right now. And for that, we won. In the Great State of Oklahoma, it was a landslide victory for the Republicans. But at the end of the day, we only have seven electoral votes to give our nation.

Senator Obama won the election. Whether it was a legitimate win, or a scandalous, dirty trick by ACORN, we may never know. But, the fact of the matter is, Barack Hussein Obama will be our next President. He took the country by storm on a campaign of Change, just as Fidel Castro and Adolph Hitler did before him. Similar to them, he has made a show of religious beliefs and family values to woo The People. His mantra of "Spreading the Wealth Around" is born out of the phrase, "From Each According to His Ability to Each According to His Need" as his predecessor, Karl Marx put it in his 1875 Critique of the Gothica Program. Following such great men, President Obama will be our leader until 2012.

Yesterday, We the People of the United States of America made history not by electing the first half-black President, but by electing the first radical left wing, Socialist President of the United States of America. He has made it clear that he detests handguns, semi-automatic weapons, and the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. His Vice President, Joe Biden, wrote the original "Assault Weapons Ban" which vilified a number of semi-automatic, scary looking, plastic-stocked rifles. These two men will try to disarm the populace as would the a fore mentioned Castro, Hitler, or Marx. That is the first step towards a totalitarianistic, military state. In order to control the people, you must assure that they cannot fight you. Every dictator or dictator hopeful knows that.

I want to be wrong about the guy, I really do. In fact, I've never so badly wanted to be wrong about something before in my life. I do not want to panic, nor incite panic, nor do I condone anyone else panicking. John McCain has asked his supporters to shift their allegiance to our newly elected, and we should. The to-be-President Obama spoke to The People and asked that those that do not support him would choose to do so, and I believe we should listen. Just as I believe that the 3/4 of the country that do not approve of President Bush should support him because he is our President, so I believe that we who voted against Obama should give him our support because of the respect that the position demands.

This is not to say that we should roll over and die. I'm not for one instant going to relinquish my rights or my opinions without a fight, and nor should anyone else. This man works for us, we do not work for him. We shall hold him accountable in his position as he takes his place in the White House. If he does not adhere to the laws that he is subject to, we shall impeach him, just like we did President Clinton. He must be held accountable for his actions, and he must understand that he is our servant. Realistically, we have two years of a left-controlled government to weather. At that point, we will have the opportunity to reset the balance of power, and reset it we will. In the meantime, I will follow President Obama with a tight grip on my Freedoms and Liberties.

Dear LORD,

Please watch over our country. Please bless President Obama with the wisdom necessary to lead our great country. Grant him clarity of thought and judgement, and allow him to be the great President that like-minded individuals and I do not expect him to be. Let our temptation to panic be completely unfounded, and bless the four years that our nation has in front of it.

God, bless America. Heal our economy and protect us from our enemies. Please forgive us when we sin against You. Please protect our troops and deliver quick and decisive resolutions to our foreign activities. Bless the leaders in our great military, and compel them to treat even our prisoners of war kindly, as we have in past wars.

Lord, let Your followers glorify You. Let us shine like beacons in a dark world so that the rest of the world sees us and knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that we are indeed One Nation, Under God, Indivisible. Let us trust You and Your Wisdom in an age that seems so incredibly troubled. Give us peace and direction.

In Your Son's Holy Name, Amen.

The Fourth of November

2008-11-03T08:39:00.005-06:00

Remember, remember the fourth of November
ACORN, Sleazing and Plot
I know of no reason
Why the Campaigning Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Obama, Obama, t'was his great goal
To turn the U. S. into a Communist Hell Hole
His friends and associates are the worst miscreants
He won't even prove that he's not an illegal immigrant;
By God's providence his plan can be choked
From 'spreading the wealth', making all of us broke.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, ignore liberal trolls.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, get your ass to the polls!

Crocs - WTF?

2008-10-28T13:47:00.002-05:00

My wife, Jenni has been scratching her head (and banging it against the wall) over new developments from Crocs, the friendly, ugly shoe company. I was so fascinated from these new offerings that I had to go check it out for myself. Alas, the offerings that they have for men's footwear are as ugly as ever. If I caught myself wearing these or these, I'd have to kick my own ass. And, with the squishy croslite(tm) that they are made of, it would be a solely unsatisfying experience (pun very much intended).

Life is simply too short to wear ugly shoes. That's why most of my footwear will come from Nocona, Dan Post, and Moreschi. Granted, I don't think that anyone should have to pay a million bucks to look like it. I haven't paid retail prices for shoes since I was in junior high and didn't know any better. (Ebay is your friend in this area.) Men's shoes should be uniquely masculine, but they ought to look good as well. I like a pair of shoes that I can wear with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt all day, brush them off at home and put on my suit to go to a formal occasion.

Some people will say "But Crocs are so coooooooomfortable!" I like my shoes to wear and wear and wear. You get a well-made pair of shoes, take care of them, and they will be incredibly comfortable, and last for a long time. ...And, they don't look like a Nerf football. Who looks good with Nerf footballs on their feet? Nobody. I'll tell you what, you put on your Nerf-looking garden clogs, and I'll wear something more like these. We'll wear them with jeans all day at work, or the mall, or the gun range or whatever. At the end of the day, we'll brush them off and wear them with suits to a formal occasion in the evening. We'll see how that goes over visually as a comparison. Once you finally kick them off in the evening, will your fee hurt? I don't know. I've never worn Crocs (because I don't want somebody's dog to try to retrieve my foot to it's owner). What I do know is that my fee will be fine.

I know that pretty much all of my shoes are artisan-made in the United States, Italy, Brazil, and Mexico. According to Crocs FAQ's, they are made:

Crocs shoes are manufactured in many countries around the world including Italy, Mexico, China, Brazil, Vietnam, Bosnia, and Romania.

That's actually a far better resume than I expected. I prefer to think that a little kid in a third-world country is not working in a factory for 12-hours a day to put my shoes together. It makes me feel bad. I really don't mind paying a little extra to make sure that doesn't happen. That's one of the biggest reasons that I've pretty well switched completely over to the types of shoes that I wear now.

Could Crocs be the way of the future in the shoe industry? I don't know. It kind of looks like they have a pretty good foothold (why yes, that one too). Whatever the future holds for Crocs in the shoe industry, I hope that as they continue to grow and prosper, they will act responsibly towards their consumers, employees, and community. Well, that's my hope for any business in any industry one it comes down to it. At any rate, I don't see myself buying any of these hideous monstrosities in their current format.

Ten Things that Everybody Knows about Sci-Fi

2008-10-24T12:09:00.005-05:00

This is a list of ten things that everyone knows about Sci-Fi, or should anyway. If you don't know these things, you need to study and memorize the list in case the aliens attack or something to assure your survival.

1. You can disable or destroy any Artificial Intelligence with a Logic Paradox.
Example -
"You are programmed not to harm me, and you are programmed to do whatever I say. So, I say kill me!"
"Does not compute."
The AI (robot, computer, whatever) smokes and shuts down.

2. When one piolots a mecha-giant-robot war toy, one has to shout commands as well as operate controls to access it's unique features/weapons.
Example -
*Pulling a lever with one hand and punching a large button with the other,* "Giant Mecha Robo twin cannon activate. Fire bomb hail storm NOOOOWWWWW!!!!"
At this point, there are extensions that unfold from deep within the machine, seemingly from a multi-dimensional pocket, and blast some enormous blue energy balls that light up the horizon and burn the bad guy to a crisp.
As a side note, here is a questionnaire that will help you choose the mecha that's right for you!

3. The best way to kill zombies is a heavy blow to the central nervous system. Buckshot from a short-shotgun works really well for this. So does a baseball bat, for that matter. Let's never forget Magnum revolvers. They take care of zombies quickly and with style. Just don't forget to make them all head shots or your head may be the next one to go!

4. The extra always dies. This is just a given. If you are "Joe Workman" on your ship, and the Captian, First Officer, and the Security Officer want you to join them on an away mission to the surface of a seemingly serene planet, DON'T DO IT!!! Turn in your resignation and get escorted to the brig for insubordination. Use the example script below as a guideline:
CPT: "Joe, come to the surface with #1 and me."
YOU: "Uh... No thanks."
CPT: "That's an order from a Commanding Officer!"
YOU: "Yeeeeaaaah. You can take your shuttle craft and shove it up your XXX for all I care. I'm not going to that planet. So, XXXX you and your XXXXXXX Federation."
You can settle on a moon somewhere, raising cattle-like creatures and drinking beer for the rest of your life once you get discharged, but you will be alive. Let some other schmuck do the senseless dying.

5. If you find that you have traveled backwards in time, you will screw stuff up. If television and movies have told us anything truthful, everything will work out in the end, but no amount of being careful will prevent it. Step on a bug, breath in some air, or have relations with your own grandmother - it doesn't really make a difference. No matter what happens, you WILL make a mess, and it WILL all settle back to normal in two hours or less. Usually, everything will be fine in just under half an hour.

6. The monster will not be dead when it is first apparently so. Don't let it take you by surprise! If you have been battling the creature in a close struggle for what seems like an eternal string of close calls, don't get too comfortable when you first smash in it's carapace and it's alien guts are spilled out on the floor. It WILL invariably have at least one more come-back attack left in it, no matter how dead it seems. Hard battle isn't the only strategy to be used against such a menace, anyway. There are many creative ways to rid the Earth of threats.

7. Beware the effects of ratiation! Exposure to radiation can cause grotesque mutation in living creatures, and can animate inanimate objects. If possible, avoid radiation altogether. If it is unavoidable, watch out for such effects!

8. Vampire chicks are always hot and dressed slutty. If you run across a hot chick in a skimpy outfit, don't turn your back (or your neck) on her. There stands a very good chance that she is a child of the night.

9. The ship's Captain may wear makeup and get handsey with male members of the crew, but he is NOT gay! Examples: James T. Kirk, Flash Gordon. Tell me I'm wrong here.

10. Alien food is good food! Whether it's blue Romulan Ale, Klingon blue spaghetti, or blue milk that Luke Skywalker drinks with his family on Tatooine, alien food is basically the same as Earth food with blue food coloring in it. A good rule of thumb is that if it's not moving anymore, it's safe to eat. So, eat and drink up!

I Got "Tagged"

2008-10-23T12:42:00.002-05:00

The Rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.

3. Tag 7 random people and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. (Sorry. I'm not going to do this part.)

I think my wife said it best when she said "Awe crap!" The biggest problem here is that I know that I know at least seven literate people, but Jenni and I together don't know many more than that who will admit to knowing what a computer is, much less have a blog. *Why did you tag me, my love?* Therefore, I'm going to have to get creative in order to participate. First of all, seven random facts:

1. We have six revolvers in our household which we have named "Lust," "Envy," "Pride," "Wrath," "Greed" and "Gluttony." Obviously, the next revolver will be named "Sloth" by default. We are kicking around the idea of naming our shotgun "Deliverance" and our AR-15 "Rapture."

2. I can do most any repair operation to a car except for internal transmission work. I never really got to tearing into transmissions, preferring to just change them out for a rebuilt or salvaged unit. It's amazing how many miles you can put on a well-built transmission!

3. I can't wear a quartz watch. They just die. I've had them last as long as eight or nine weeks, but usually no longer than five or six. Weaker radios lose their tuning, and they hiss and static in my presence. When I was a phlebotomist, I discovered that my hematocrit is unusually high as compared to the average. Most people who have as much iron in their blood as I do often wind up with some specific, serious, health problems. I, on the other hand, feel weak and sickly when my iron drops into the "normal" range. I've found that my body puts up almost no electrical resistance as compared to other people, as is evidenced by ohmmeters. I can sense electric fields, magnetic fields, and large ferrous objects. I have to believe that this is all related, but I don't know how. My son exhibits some of the same characteristics. How weird is all of that?

4. In Junior High, I wrote a large chunk of a saga of a novel, but never finished it. When I went back and read through a bunch of it, it sounds like a 12 to 13-year-old's writing. There are 1000-some odd hand-written pages sitting in my office somewhere as I couldn't bring myself to pitch it.

5. I used to be able to hold my breath for on top of five-minutes underwater with relative ease. I think I got close to six once. I lost a really good Soviet Russian watch that way. A girl had been playing with it and left the crown unscrewed. This was particularly heart-breaking as affordable mechanical watches can be hard to come by.

6. I've only really been using computers for a few years now. I want to say that it was in 2003 or 2004 that I really started. When I was growing up, my brother and I weren't much allowed to touch Dad's computer. I think he was afraid that we would break it. Jen and I got married in 1998 and it took us that long to actually get a home computer. At this point, that seems really sad, but I can certainly relate to those people who are scared of computers.

7. Jenni and I got married in December of 1998. In under two months, we will have been married for ten years! It really doesn't seem like it's been that long, and I'm looking forward to the next ten. Most of the people we knew who got married around the same time we did have since gotten divorced. I think that's terrible, and have to wonder what we have done right that they did not. At the risk of getting really sappy, I wish that everyone could be as happy as we are.

As I stated before, I don't know seven people to send this to that Jenni didn't already "tag." So, I'll do my best here.

1. JAFO. This is a dude I have met on a gun forum. He seems to have pretty much all the same political views that I do. This is probably why we get along so well.

2. Poliwax. This is one of the smarter people whom I have read on the internet. I know that he cruises past my blog from time to time, but I severely doubt that he'll participate in something like this.

3. Some nutty feminist that I linked for a previous blog entry. She wouldn't post my comment on her blog, and I can't say I blame her. If she tracks links, she might surprise. Somehow I doubt that will happen since I've got the wrong plumbing for her to treat me equally (and somehow I'm the sexist).

4 & 5. Greg & Beth. These people are SO COOL! I read their blog fairly often, but I don't think they know who I am. I could be wrong, I suppose.

6. I was going to tag Jenni's resident troll, but he never gives a real url at which to contact him, but his incredibly thoughtful comments can be read here.

7. Will Rhodes. He's a British Liberal living in Canada, and I participated in a nice debate with him on my wife's blog concerning the DC vs. Heller decision. I wouldn't mind hearing from him again, as he is thoughtful and well-educated, even if we completely disagree on the gun control issue.

It's a little gruesome, but there's seven right there. Jenni, NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!!

Spambot Girls - The Breakup.

2008-10-21T09:04:00.006-05:00

This is a recurring spam message that I keep receiving in my email at work. In this oddly-posed, red-clad, low-resolution picture that I was sent anonymously over the interweb, this Ukrainian girl just looks so cute that I've fallen in love at first sight. Whether she is 'shopped together as a conglomeration from pics of other girls or if she is the real deal, and although I am separated from her by terabytes and thousands of miles of land and ocean (and possibly reality), I regret to inform both of my readers that I can see no other recourse but to leave my marriage in pursuit of TatianaG, my one true love. She's obviously the only attractive woman in the Ukraine, as evidenced by her picture being the only one that has been sent to me. And, her complete and utter devotion is shown in her persistence of sending me her picture multiple times a day for weeks on end. My spam filter cannot stand between us, and all I have to do is "Click here to sign up (Absolutely FREE!!!)" to be in ultimate bliss with my TatianaG. Each of those capital letters and superfluous exclamation marks say it so well! Sure, she thinks my name is "Dating!" but it says in RED LETTERS that she is waiting for me! On those grounds alone, maybe I should have my name legally changed to "Dating!" (with the exclamation mark, of course) prior to my journey to Ukraine to claim my bride.

Wait a minute... ...she was born in 1977 and she's 29? Oh, she's one of THOSE girls. In twenty years, she'll still claim 29, I'm sure. Her body type won't be so "cuddly" then, and people will be giving me consolation that my 29-year-old wife looks so much older.

Know what, TatianaG? I'm sorry. Beyond the merits of your demure smile and sexy, low-res pic, I'm not sure things are going to work out between us. There's just no place in this world - virtual or otherwise - for a girl (or possibly a bot) like you and a guy like me. Shh, shh. I know. My heart is breaking as well, but please don't cry or argue. I know in my heart that there's a man (or program) out there for you. There's no reason that the most attractive woman in the Ukraine (allegedly) should spend her life alone. It's not you - really it isn't. It's me. There's no way that I could keep up with the active, fabulous lifestyle of a web-spider riding Spambot Girl. So, please - let's make this a clean break. Please stop sending me your seductive picture. My heart just can't take it anymore. I've got a life I need to get back to, and I don't need your distractions, and there are other inboxes that I'm sure will yield you better results. Truth be told, I will miss you, TatianaG. *sniff, sniff*

Picking Up & Dropping Off at School

2008-10-17T15:08:00.002-05:00

King Solomon once said:

There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.

(Proverbs 30:18-19)

Today, it might have been five things, because Solomon never got to see the illogical frenzy that parents get in when they are at the school to deposit or retrieve their kids. Since it is Fall Break, Kiddo is off to the lake with Grandpa and Grandma. We have not had to drop him off at school, nor pick him up afterward, and it has been a nice break. I believe that I would prefer for there to be no other parents or kids there, but I had to take off my shoes and socks and walk across 50-meters of glass shards and carry the boy back to the car. Yes, the trade-off would be well worth it.

I Am Joe

2008-10-17T14:39:00.003-05:00

It's about time someone represented us in politics. I don't envy him for having his life trifled with by the political, leftist, media machine. But, like other bloggers, some of whom I know, some I do not, it's time for me to take a stand. How about you? Will you join the revolution? I am Joe. Are you?

UPDATE:

Merchandise

Of OS and Men

2008-10-14T15:31:00.004-05:00

I wish there was a better computer operating system available. I have some pointed complaints about the big three.

The thing that I hate about Apple is they have this neat way of doling out technology so they can milk maximum profit from it. Take the iphone for example. The first one, which had all of two neat features, sucked by comparison to the one today, which does all the stuff a Blackberry does, and you can't tell me that they were not capable of doing the nifty tricks of the new one back then - or at least some of them. It's like they've got a little panel of people whose job it is to sit around and decide the minimum they can give a product and still make you want it really, really bad. Then, when people start to get tired of it, they'll release the next one with a few more features.

M$ OTOH, releases some kind of mutated, pile of crap that they are going to charge you a premium for, and calls it the next best thing. Vista, for example. Let's face it, it has taken them well over a decade to get the NT kernel working as well as it currently is. Even so, it's still buggy and fragile as OS's are concerned. Then, they say they've released the final bug fix which is the bestest, most goodest OS ever ever, it's going to be an impenetrable fortress of an OS that will be super-duper user-friendly and it will poop rainbows. And, it's Vista. It won't run your drivers without some *ahem* creative manipulation and some eleven-year-old in Bosnia hacks the kernel three hours after the official release.

Then, you have Linux. Don't like to spend a lot of time configuring? Don't use Linux. Don't like to or understand how to script? Linux is not for you. Want to run proprietary software? Not going to work on Linux unless you want to spend A LOOOOOOOT of time configuring (a PHD wouldn't hurt). Need special drivers for your hardware? Keep your fingers crossed, and plan on spending a lot of time configuring. Want to work full-time and have a social life? You probably don't want to use Linux. Do you live in your parent's basement, don't have a girlfriend, and find yourself bored off your gourd for hours upon hours? Give Linux a whirl!

This is probably the reason that I don't really have my own PC running at home currently.

Long Live Free Enterprise!

2008-10-14T12:54:00.002-05:00

It seems to be a hot issue that people are following the Left so blindly. Look at what Poliwax or JAFO have to say about it.

It makes me sick when people take the attitude of, "You will prove that you are not a racist by voting for the black guy." Excuse me!?!??!?!? I'm going to prove that I'm not a racist by voting for the best guy for the job, regardless of his race! To do otherwise IS THE DEFINITION of racism!

The Dems try to argue that up is down, left is right, and the sky is green. They talk about "reasonable gun restrictions," "a woman's right to choose" and "spreading the wealth around" in generalized terms that sound noble on the surface and belie their true meanings of "disarm the population so they are easier to control," "guilt young women into murdering their unborn children" and "institute wide-spread socialism."

It's a frightening world we live in when such idiocy is threatening the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. This is supposed to be the Last Stand, the Haven for those who believe in Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. And yet, they are trying to turn it into a "fair" place where everyone gets to go see the doctor regardless of what he or she gives to life or how one handles one's own resources. -a "fair" place where the most successful tow all the others behind them on a chain.

I don't WANT to have the richest of the rich subsidizing my lifestyle. I LIKE being middle-class, and I LIKE the opportunity to pull myself up by my own bootstraps. My household was not always middle-class. There was a time when we calculated our gross income and found that we were comfortably BELOW the poverty line. We were not only applicable for welfare assistance, we were GUARANTEED to get it if we had only applied. But, we were too F-ing proud, and still are. We were eating healthy, nutritious meals, we had clothing to wear, we had a warm, dry house to come home to, and we had love for each other - the three of us - and ambitions that kept us striving for better. We also had the Love of God, Who made sure our needs were met, no matter how poor we were.

Of our own determination and hard work, we rose to where we are today. If someone else had dragged us to where we are today (burdened to do so, or by their own choice), we would not have learned the lessons that we did along the way. I do not WANT the government to take away my opportunity for success or failure, because I INTEND to succeed ON MY OWN, by God's Grace. I don't WANT my success to come out of anyone else's pocket. I don't WANT to take the same opportunities away from anyone that is less fortunate than me. If I see someone who is truly struggling, I will not callously look on in disinterest, but I will not give them a hand-out that will not ULTIMATELY help them. I want to see them succeed too much for that.

Welfare should not be to support lifestyle. Welfare should be a temporary fix for those who are in the PROCESS of failing to a degree that they can never recover from it. I don't want anyone to take away my ability to fail, for in as much, he takes away my ability to succeed. Everyone should have such opportunity - to truly LIVE the American Dream.

Obamabomb IV

2008-10-09T16:26:00.004-05:00

I had read about this one, but this was the first that I had seen this particular faux pas.

What kind of ~~Mosque~~ Church do you go to again, Barry?

Sigh Feminists...

2008-10-09T12:23:00.003-05:00

My wife sent me this link yesterday. It's worth the read. It kind of embodies everything that the feminists are crooning about currently. We'll see whether the blogger allows my response to come out of moderation (copied and pasted below). Want to take any bets?

"— if you ask me. "

Who did, for that matter? Your narrow-mindedness astounds me. Feminists don't like Sarah Palin because she is incapable of being the victim. If women empower themselves, the feminists' fight is over. We can't have that, can we now? What meaning would your life have if you couldn't piss and moan about how we men are trying to keep you down?

Like many Conservatives (and Liberals for that matter), I think that you have the right to do whatever you want with your own body. By that rational, I think seat-belt and helmet laws are stupid, and it is asinine that suicide is illegal. I also believe that murder is wrong. If there was a way to level the playing field and have a calm, open discussion on the issues and implications of abortion, I would be all for it. But, when you take the attitude that the opposition is "anti-choice" and put words in other people's mouths concerning your anatomy, you make yourself look like a narrow-minded fool.

I don't go on and on about what you people think I should do with my penis. Come to think of it, I've not heard any self-respecting man piss and moan about anybody telling him what he should or should not do with his penis.

Just for the sake of argument, say Joe Somebody met you in a bar, drinks were had, and you made it home to Joe's house. You got pregnant and made the choice to have the baby - just for the sake of the argument. You contact DHS and have Joe served with papers, because he's the dad and you want child support. What choice does Joe have? He doesn't. This seems like a double standard, doesn't it?

Why is it that in our society, women get to choose whether or not they want to be a mom after they have made poor decisions, but men do not get afforded a similar luxury? To that end, why are you still bitching?

Get over yourself. Nobody is making you do anything.

Leftists

2008-10-08T12:19:00.006-05:00

I decided to Google out a "Love Obama" forum on the internet and get into it under cover, slowly bringing my real views about after starting by spouting the kind of crap that I usually hear from them. At about 9:00 a. m. on Wednesday, October 8, 2008, the thread started like this:

McFibber even though we admire his military carrier, as president he would stink. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, D W Eishenhouser all military heros, all stunk as president. J F Kennedy was a military hero but his term was too short judge. G H W Bush, was shot down like McCain but rescued, he was no diamond in the rough either. But he did not stink, just a strange odor.

There were a couple of generic rhetorical commenters, and then an anonymous "Commenter," from Wangnimni, Korea (And, I don't hold you at fault if you do not read his complete opinion. He's a little long-winded.):

Obama Must Campaign Outside of Philadelphia 5-County Region
By comment

Obama could lose Pennsylvania, much like John Kerry lost Ohio, if he does not begin campaigning outside of the core vote area of Philadelphia 5-county region. Kerry carried 4 of these 5 and lost Chester County by 10,000 votes.

If you look at counties at the margin by number of votes lost in 2004, the critical counties are those John Kerry carried more than 40% of the vote, total votes cast more than 50,000 and won or lost county by less than 11,000 votes.

This leaves you with head to head battle ground in 17 Counties. The goal should be for Obama/Biden to carry 9 of these. As the Democratic Party strengths are in the East and that major media markets of New York City and Philadelphia have coverage in Lehigh Valley, the Greater Lehigh Valley is the key area as it contains 6 of the 17 counties that were not carried by large margins and the criteria I set forth above by either candidate in 2004.

This will leave you with major battle for votes at the margin, in order of importance: Lehigh, Northampton, Berks, and Schuylkill, Monroe, and Carbon counties.

If you now look at fundraising level, you get an interesting picture of how close PA truly is. After removing fundraising of counties that have raised the most money and who John Kerry carried in 2004 (Philadelphia, Allegheny, Montgomery, Delaware, and Lackawanna), you are left with a near dead heat in fundraising. Obama $1.355 million, McCain 1.358 million. McCain is carrying key counties of the greater Lehigh Valley, in fund raising margin. This includes Lehigh ($147,000), Northampton ($41,000), Monroe ($1000), Carbon ($3,800), and Schuylkill ($3000). Obama only leads in fund raising in Berks ($8000). This gives McCain an almost $190,000 fund raising edge in the greater Lehigh Valley.

If one looks at how you carry Pennsylvania, Obama is off track. The reliance on the Rendell strategy and team could cost him an important state, much like Kerry who engaged in under campaigning in Akron and Columbus areas in Ohio in 2004 and focusing on core region of Cleveland. The Rendell team has Obama locals making the same fundamental mistake of focusing on the Philadelphia, Montgomery, Delaware core region.

Obama must get into these counties and particularly a heavy campaigning presence in the greater Lehigh Valley (Lehigh, Northampton and its near/bordering counties of Berks, Monroe, Carbon and Schuylkill) if he is to carry Pennsylvania. There is a reason that McCain abandoned Michigan early, they are coming full strong to carry Ohio, West Virginia and Pennsylvania. You can not win the Presidency if you lose all three of these traditional industrial areas. The key to carrying two of the three are to campaign in Columbus, OH and Allentown, PA. Obama needs to spend the next three weeks principally in these two cities and their surrounding suburbs.

PS- On a side note, this is how Governorships are made or lost. Don Cunningham becomes the key to this strategy and not the local Congressional candidate or County Party leaders. Cunningham has to unite the Lehigh Democratic Party machine and position himself as the guy who can deliver votes in the Lehigh Valley. If he does this, his election for Governorship will be locked up in 2010 because he will have party machines of Lehigh Valley, Scranton and Philadelphia behind him. You can not lose when you have all 3. I am undecided if Governor Cunningham would be a good or a bad thing.

Projected Number of Visits by Obama/Biden (Man Days)
East (9)
Greater Lehigh Valley Region (6) Total Visits 14
Lehigh (GLV)– Allentown 5 Visits
Northampton (GLV)– Bethlehem/Easton 5 Visits
Berks (GLV)– Reading 1 Visits
Monroe (GLV)– Stroudsburg 1 Visits
Schuylkill (GLV)– Pottsville/Hazleton 1 Visit
Carbon (GLV)– Jim Thorpe/Lehighton 1 Visit
Total Visits YTD- 0
# Visits to Complete Yet 14
Goal: Rally in Allentown (5), Bethlehem (4), Easton (1), Reading (1), East Stroudsburg (1), Pottsville (1), Jim Thorpe (1)
October 15 – November 1

Philadelphia 5 County Region 16 Total Visits
Bucks (SE)– Bristol 3 Visits
Chester (SE)– Chester/West Chester 3 Visits
Total Visits YTD- 7
# Visits to Complete Yet 9
Goal: Bristol (3), West Chester (2), Chester (1), Philadelphia (3 – Night Fundraisers/1 Day Rally)
October 14-22

Lackawanna Valley Region/Scranton 1 Total Visit
Luzerne (NE)– Wilkes-Barre 1 Visit
Total Visits YTD- 4
# Visits to Complete Yet 0
West (6)– Total Visits 10
Erie (NW)– Erie 2 Visit
Fayette (SW)
Beaver (SW)– Beaver, Aliquippa 4 Visits
Washington (SW)– Washington 1 Visit
Cambria (SW)
Mercer (NW)
Total Visits YTD- 7
# Visits to Complete Yet 3
Goal: Erie (2), Washington (1)
October 11-13

Central (2) Total Visits 2
Centre – State College/Penn State 1 Visit
Dauphin – Harrisburg 1 Visit
Total Visits YTD- 0
# Visits to Complete Yet 2
Goal: State College (1), Harrisburg (1)
October 9-10

Core Area – 26 Total Visits (Night Fund Raising)
Philadelphia 5 County Visits 16
Allegheny County l Visits 10
Total Visits YTD- 14
# Visits to Complete Yet 12

Woah, that's a lot of opinion about our politics from the other side of the globe! And, then this came from a gentleman who actually wrote from Pennsylvania, called Flavious_Maximus:

Get ready for an extreme radical black nationalist bisexual President of the United States. All you liberal democrats who think Obama is going to usher in a new age utopia are just committing suicide. You will be the first to be put up against the wall and shot by his Marxist revolutionaries when he turns the country towards communism.

FM, don't sugar-coat it. Tell us what you think, buddy. He was of course, put down exactly like you would expect. This is when I decided to play. Under the moniker "Blue Colt," I decided to make my move. I thought the double meaning of my handle was clever and humorous. I posted this comment in my best impersonation of a moonbat:

I'm just glad to see that Obama is doing so well in the polls! It's funny that nobody has ever asked me to take a poll, though. The bottom line is this - all of these wingnuts need to quit clinging to their bibles and guns and vote for Change. Good grief, the last thing we need in this country is another 4-years of Bush!

I got no responses. There was noise and activity, but it was dull and lacked direction. So, I tried again in response to a jab at Asher:

It's true! Bob Asher IS a convicted felon! Look it up! We need to extend the vote to Korea so Comment can vote for Obama as well.

Still no responses to The Blue Colt. There were multiple duplicate slams against our friend Flavious from various posters, but no attention to The Colt. Several people mentioned the thing that McCain said about the Fed buying up bad home mortgages (which is worth discussing, given the implications), but nothing substantial beyond childish "nya nya" -ing. This is when I lost patience and decided to hit them with it:

I like the fact that Obama knows that American people are not smart or responsible enough to budget for their medical needs, energy needs, or housing. He realizes that the average American is stupid, irresponsible, unresourceful, and needs leadership that will tell them what to do. When asked about turning thermostats a little warmer over the hot Summer for energy conservation, GWB's typically stupid response was "I think the American People are smart enough to do that on their own if their electric bill is too high." It's nice that we have a candidate that doesn't think so much of us. I know that I'll be glad to have a President that knows what's best for me.

Forty-two minutes later, "Not Over" opined:

It's not over til it's over. The McCain campaign has to contend the election somewhere. If resources are pulled out of Michigan, they can't be pulled out of Pennsylvania, too. He has to wave the flag or contributions will dry up and Republicans farther down the ticket will suffer. Maybe that's deserved, but that's for the voters to decide.
If it were up to me, I'd send a whole new team down to Washington. Enough's enough!

*Cricket chirp, cricket chirp* That is a summary of the activity as of 12:30, at the 24th post.

3:45 update: No further activity. I scanned some of the other threads in the same forum, but no mention of Blue Colt. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

4:30 update: No further activity. I close with this comment:

When Obama is in charge, and he is justifying the increased taxation with a reach-around to the middle class, can we still consider that soft-stuffing as being screwed? The general opinion of the Left certainly seems to be "no." I just don't see how this guy has any means to relate to "the common man" with his aloof, elitist attitude, and his "you can't handle it without us" rhetoric. If you buy into his Marxist/Carter-ish plans, vote for him I suppose. I'm not in much of a hurry to repeat the Carter years or to live under a Communist government. I had hoped to see some more action on this forum, but I suppose I was hoping for too much. If you people were really analytical and intelligent, you would not be on this side of it.

UPDATE 10/9/08, 1313: More activity detected - my comments ignored. Next time, I may try the daily kooks.

Holster Progression

2008-10-08T12:09:00.002-05:00

Well folks, it looks like I am a holster maker. Here are some pictures of my wife's cross-draw. I designed and stitched it, she wet-molded and finished it. Purple was her idea. She has now been wearing it for several weeks now, and it is doing really well for her. I hadn't had a chance to upload pics of it until recently. This sucker tucks in tight and conceals well under a vest, shirt, or jacket. It retains well in all of her daily activities as a mother, wife, and accountant; and yet the draw is easy and intuitive. We built it with an extra loop behind the grip to give her the option of using the same holster on a modular shoulder rig, which will be in the works soon.

There will be pictures of more holsters to follow. I've just finished my prototype, but I want to get some hard wear on it before I post a report.

My Mom's First Experience with a Shotgun

2008-10-04T15:44:00.003-05:00

I can't laugh too much. Most of her gunning experience has been with a nicely weighted .22-LR rifle. Taking that into consideration, she really didn't do too badly with the 20-gauge. Keep in mind that I detest internet videos of people put in situations to hurt themselves. Not funny. Mom didn't get hurt at all. This is VERY funny!

Oh by the way, I posted this video without her consent. She reads my blog occasionally. I wonder how long it will take for her to discover it...

*snicker!*

Darwinism

2008-10-01T08:56:00.002-05:00

Alright, peeps. I'm getting really sick of the humanistic atheists. It's time for a quick science lesson. Let's get three little facts straight:

1. When your glass "sweats" the liquid on the outside does not come from the inside. It works the same way as when your car windows fog up.

2. The "lead" in your pencil is not lead at all unless it's a hundred years old. It's graphite, and no amount of pencil stabbing will give someone lead poisoning.

3. Darwinian speciation is unsubstantiated, unscientific, and impossible. One day, the idea will be a relic of the intellectual dark age that we are currently in. It ranks right up there with the flat world theory and spontaneous generation.

That's all for now. Thanks for hearing my rant.

Action Adventure Vacation 2008 - Post-Ike Update

2008-09-30T12:23:00.003-05:00

This may be less interesting to some than others. The red arrow indicates where we had our lunch snack that Jenni blogged about, and I also referred to on my blog.

When we were in Galveston, this street was lined by businesses that are not there anymore. I think it's really interesting that the very building that we ate at is still there. It better puts the whole thing in perspective for me.

About Gun Control vs. Personal Responsibility

2008-09-29T12:53:00.002-05:00

To both my readers,

As usual, I'm preaching to the choir on this one. I hope you enjoy anyway.

Imagine that you are in a room with nine other people. Of the ten people including you, nine of them are nice people. These nine are well-balanced, caring individuals that want to get along and be peaceful with each other. The tenth one is a sociopath. Number ten wants nothing more than to hurt others and generally be a jerk.

Let's imagine that there are no weapons allowed in the room. Of course, nine of you will comply and not have weapons. The tenth doesn't care what the rules are, and brings a gun in with the full knowledge that there are nine sitting ducks. It is possible that between nine of you, you could eventually overpower the tenth, albeit through some calculated bloodshed and collateral loss.

Now imagine if you will that weapons are welcome in this room - encouraged in fact. When our sociopath is in this room with nine other people who are well-armed, well-trained and well-practiced. Sure, he can bring a weapon in as well, but he has cause for concern in actually acting on his evil impulses. If he should choose to act on dark intentions, the other nine would be ready to quickly restore the peace.

If it should come to a firefight, nine responsible people would:
1) treat his or her weapon as if it were always loaded.
2) keep the weapon pointed away from each other.
3) keep his or her finger off the trigger until the perpetrator was in the sights.
4) not take the shot unless it was a clear one.

The fact of the matter is that people don't refrain from violence because it is illegal, or for fear of the repercussions. Good people refrain from violence because it is not right. Bad people don't refrain from violence because they don't care what is right or not.

Instead of a room of ten, let's put this scenario into the statistical scope of reality. According to the FBI, in the year 2007, there were an estimated 466.9 violent crimes per 100,000 people. This amounts to you being one person in a room of 214 people, of which one is an asshole. Keep in mind that this is a number on ALL violent crimes, not just gun-related violent crimes. That one person in 214 could be prone to pushing an old lady down the stairs, raping your sister, or any one of a number of atrocities including shooting another human being in cold-blood. Would you feel more or less comfortable if the other 213 were well-trained, well-practiced and well-armed?

This is why a well-armed society is a polite society. Not because everyone needs to have the threat of death hovering over their head - just the bad guys. Anyone who would consider gaining the training and practice, and arming themselves will get my encouragement and support.

Obamabomb III

2008-09-17T12:17:00.002-05:00

In an exclusive interview with GMA, Barry had this to say:

"If we're going to ask questions about, you know, who has been promulgating negative ads that are completely unrelated to the issues at hand, I think I win that contest pretty handily," Obama said.

*In my very best BHO voice* If, umm... If we are going to, going to, you know, going to vote for this guy... ...and say that he has A Golden Tongue... Shouldn't we make sure, make sure that he can speak?

His supporters say he has "A Golden Tongue," but it's only dumbasses that seem to be still supporting him despite these flubs. Does that make his tongue pyrite?

Impeach? You've got to be kidding me!

2008-09-11T09:49:00.003-05:00

I've been seeing bumper stickers like this for a while now. You know, I'm a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own stupid opinion, but this is just plain dumbassity! Sentiments like this are much akin to "I'm going to sue you even if I have to take it to the Supreme Court!" Yeah - you do that, dumbass.

It's like this: Should someone go to jail because you don't like them? Let's say that your neighbor really pisses you off. You can say all kinds of nasty things about them, but what if they aren't doing anything illegal or wrong? If the cops came and hauled them off, I hope your conscience would pang just a little bit. This is exactly what these "special" drivers are suggesting we do. They are suggesting that their dislike of our President is grounds for criminal charges on him. I'm sorry, but that is beyond the scope of everyone having their own stupid opinion. To me, that viewpoint is more criminal than what they are claiming against the man.

As these thoughts were taking on their current structure, I was reminded of my wife selling bumper stickers on her blog. I thought that I might try my hand at it as well. So, to all of you who know these people, and want to help re-direct them to not look so ignorant of due process and the way checks and balances work, I submit this jewel for your approval:

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

You can simply place this bumper sticker over the top of the offending, dumbass bumper sticker that they currently have. It works great if you buy a used car that it pre-decorated in all kinds of rhetorical tripe. It's not just for political stickers, either! If you have a preowned car that you have been unable to remove the "Keep Honking: I'm Reloading" or "I Brake for Blondes" sticker from, this can be like an apologetic white-out for your car. Old bumper stickers can get stubborn, after all.

Heck, this one works on the other side of the fence as well! From poll records to current approval ratings, a little over a quarter of our country's people who voted for G. W. B. TWICE has since changed their minds about him. Do you need to cover up that embarrassing "Bush 04" sticker? No big deal. You can use my sticker to say that it was a major FAIL on your part (although I would still have to disagree with you).

Anyway, I hope that both of my readers get a good laugh out of this post. If you both buy a sticker, I'll even earn $.80!

Palin for VP

2008-09-09T08:41:00.002-05:00

I think it's really funny how one can directly gauge how nervous the left is by how preposterous their claims get. My wife, Jennifer sent me this one. And then, my friend, Instinct posted this link in his blog. The stories have gotten so ridiculously bigger-than-life. They make her out to be a gangster the likes of which would make the Clintons green with envy. Besides all of that, when did this become a race between Obama and Palin, anyway? She won't be running for president until the 2012 election. Regardless, this is how the rational *ahem* conversation goes between a typical Republican and Democrat:

Republican: "I'm concerned with Obama's lack of experience. He was a Community Organizer for a little while, and is a brand-new senator. He hasn't headed up any significant projects. Besides that, the way he talks makes it sound like the thinks that the Federal government should run our lives. I don't really want that to happen. Sure I've heard rumors questioning his citizenship and some other things, but I'd really rather not put too much weight on that. If he gets elected, surely they will check the proper paperwork. We can't get a driver's license without at least two forms of ID. I would think that to be President he would need to produce a birth certificate at least."

Democrat: "Huh uh! Palin is the one with NO experience! What does being a mom have anything to do with anything? She should have aborted all of her babies, if she's a real progressive woman, anyways. You know that she extorted all kinds of funds from the poor people in Alaska, and that she owns slaves, and hates everyone? She's scary! HOPECHANGE!"

Republican: "Um, okay. I don't know where you are getting your information, but I might be interested in seeing some documented evidence. You are bringing up some pretty serious accusations there. Besides that, you didn't even respond to what I said..."

Democrat: (interrupting) "And one time, she melted a nun with acid that she squirted out of her eyes! I know because I read it on libtard.com!"

Republican: "Those must be some good drugs you are on there, hippie. I'm sorry, I thought we were having a rational, respectful, political conversation. But, apparently..."

Democrat: (interrupting again) "She's an alien who has come to the Earth to take over and enslave our species! And she gave birth to bat-boy! And, and, and... ...and she ate Tokyo!!!"

Republican: "Look, buddy. You obviously have no interest in discussing politics like a grown-up, and I have my mind made up on my vote due to rational thought. I guess I'll let you back to your 'Bush is eeevillll' comic books for now."

Democrat: "Bush? BUSH? BBBUUUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHH??? He's the reason why gas is so expensive! He drinks oil, and so do his friends! We're losing the war in Iraq! He's the stupidest clown in the world! He's got two brain cells and they fight! But, he's also a diabolical, evil genious! He's supporting terrorists with his...."

Of course, the Republican has to simply walk away when he terminates the interchange. Don't get me wrong. I have friends that are very intelligent who are going to vote for the Donkey for their own reasons (as much as that makes me scratch my head), and I respect them for it. But, it seems like the internet is just chocked full of these simpletons who bomb on the GOP because it's the 'cool' thing to do. If they understand that 'Hope' means 'take away your freedom' and 'Change' means 'tax the hell out of you', then I suppose they've picked the right candidate.

Cars & Money

2008-09-05T15:34:00.002-05:00

I saw this today in a link that my wife sent to me. I have to believe that the study is oddly slanted. I just hired a carrier to haul a trailer to Oregon at $1.40/mile. He was driving an F340, Super Duty, 4x4, crew cab, long-bed dually. This study shows the average cost per mile for F-Series pickups at $2.392. What they are saying is that in order for Customer A to get enough out of the vehicle to make it worthwhile for that kind of hire, Customer B must be losing money on it like mad, in order for the average to come out to this number. Similarly, I know very well that my wife and I aren't spending $.962/mile on our Sentra when you include gas, payment, insurance, and all maintenance; and it would be in the high end of the model comparison, being the SE-R Spec-V, the hot one in the family. Furthermore, I can't see a Viper and an Avalon being nearly the same cost per mile over the course of their lifetimes. This just in: don't buy an Armada, splurge the extra 0.26% lifetime cost and get the Lamborghini. They're practically the same price in the long run!

Sarah Palin

2008-09-04T12:16:00.002-05:00

For anyone who saw her speech at the RNC last night, all I have to say is this: YEAH!

For those of you who missed this, here's the transcript, courtesy of NPR.

Some highlights include gems like these:

While I was at it, I got rid of a few things in the governor's office that I didn't believe our citizens should have to pay for.

That luxury jet was over the top. I put it on eBay.

I told the Congress "thanks, but no thanks," for that Bridge to Nowhere.

If our state wanted a bridge, we'd build it ourselves. When oil and gas prices went up dramatically, and filled up the state treasury, I sent a large share of that revenue back where it belonged — directly to the people of Alaska.

But the fact that drilling won't solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all.

Starting in January, in a McCain-Palin administration, we're going to lay more pipelines ... build more nuclear plants ... create jobs with clean coal ... and move forward on solar, wind, geothermal and other alternative sources.

This is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign. But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed ... when the roar of the crowd fades away ... when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot — what exactly is our opponent's plan? What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet? The answer is to make government bigger ... take more of your money ... give you more orders from Washington ... and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world. America needs more energy ... our opponent is against producing it.

In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers.

And then there are those, like John McCain, who use their careers to promote change.

If character is the measure in this election ... and hope the theme ... and change the goal we share, then I ask you to join our cause. Join our cause and help America elect a great man as the next president of the United States.

I'm not going to claim to be the first or only blogger covering this subject, but I am proud of the way this is going. Before McCain's choice of bringing Palin aboard, I was not looking forward to casting my vote. I don't like John McCain much. I dislike him far less than Obama, but it felt like the choice of the lesser danger. Mrs. Palin has changed my mind on this. I don't think I'm alone, either. Did you hear that? That was the sound of Senator Obama sweating. So, I submit for your approval:

Holster Success Update

2008-08-27T11:42:00.002-05:00

OK. So I finally got to take some pictures in sunlight. Here are two pics showing that this thing sucks my Smith & Wesson L-Frame in tight enough that it it undetectable even under a light, cotton shirt:

Here's a better pic of the holster itself in use:

And, the money shot:

As I said before, I'm thrilled about how this one came out. Maybe it was beginner's luck, or maybe I have some natural talent for this kind of work. I'm going to have to make some more holsters to find out!

Holster Success!!!

2008-08-26T12:33:00.003-05:00

To both my readers,

Here's my second attempt at a holster. I think it turned out pretty well. I'll try to get some better pics up soon, but please let me know what you think.

It fits the gun very nicely, and wears wonderfully! I have to admit that I far exceeded my expectations for fit and finish. My original intent was to do it straight black, but in the heat of the moment I decided to go with black cherry. I'm not disappointed with that decision.

I am looking forward to the next project. Fortunately, I have a couple lined up already. I need a left-hand holster to match this one, and Jenni still needs a cross-draw. Beyond that, I've been working on some moonclip holders as well.

I have a feeling that I may get some requests as well. If I ever got to the point of doing these semi-full-time, I'd need to get an industrial sewing machine like the shoe-shop guy has...

Hippies vs. Metal

2008-08-26T12:12:00.002-05:00

My friend Instinct related this story to me:

We actually had a real drum circle form outside the store yesterday. It started with 2 people and after about two hours there were 10 of them out there in their hippie clothing drumming away. I went over to the manager and let him know what was going on and he looked outside and told me if it started getting out of hand he would ask them to leave but it made one of the girls kind of nervous because she started asking what we would do if they didn’t want to leave.

So I just handed the manager a Slayer CD and said “Put this on. Everyone knows that hippies can’t stand death metal”

Why am I reminded of this?

Classic. Beautiful. Enjoy.

Obamabomb II

2008-08-25T13:23:00.002-05:00

This dude has to be one of the most frightening things that I've seen in politics. As if it's not bad enough that he has to spout his slanted rhetoric, he has to quote The Scripture out of context to support his Marxist agenda. If we give him power, I'm afraid that we'll have problems that We the People never imagined could happen in a place like The United States of America.

We may as well open trade with Cuba, since we're well on the way to being Communist ourselves. By 2010, we'll have bread lines and religious persecution that will rival that of the old Soviet Union! Yay! Sign your paycheck over the the government because they know what's best for you! You don't need to pay a doctor, let the leaders of our nation be the middle-man for that. Because "everyone has the right to affordable healthcare," nobody has the right to make their own decisions?

I'm sorry, let me get back on track here. So, we not only get to lose our spending power and our guns, but we also need to give up the Ten Commandments as well. -or so he suggests in this little tirade. Yeah. So, essentially we have no rights to anything at all. This guy's a winner for sure.

ME for President!?!?!??!?!

2008-08-20T10:58:00.001-05:00

GOTCHA!

Work Related Stress

2008-08-15T12:42:00.002-05:00

Like most bloggers, I make an effort to keep the workplace out of my blog. I only blog at work from my lunch break. I don't think the powers that be would have a problem with me talking about my job, but there is a particular etiquette that blocks me from doing much of that. That being said, I have a great job. I really can't ask for any better at this point in life. I don't expect to be doing this for the rest of my life, and my boss knows that. He also knows that he may be in the ground before I no longer work for him. I'm not saying that to be morbid, just illustrating that I'm not a short-timer, and he knows it. Every once in a while, I can't help but vaguely blog about work.

Recently, there have been particular stresses at work, well beyond my control. Yesterday afternoon as I was leaving work, I took a swig of my water as I habitually do prior to leaving. For just a split second, that water tasted like tequilla. My first reaction is that it was a psychological reaction to the stress, and apparently I really wanted a small glass of tequila. Then, I realized that it was simply a combination of flavors - the natural minerals in the water that have come through the saturated filter cartridge on the refrigerator and the licorice-flavored salt-water taffy that I had just eaten. Boy, did I feel silly! I didn't want tequila afterall!

There have been a few situations in my relatively short career in the working force in which a supervisor/manager/owner has asked the nearly impossible of me. I'm not going to claim any particular mad skills at being able to turn water to wine or anything like it, but I will say that I am a problem solver. Even then, most of the times that I've been able to come up with a solution to a seemingly insurmountable problem, it's only been through persistence and being in the right place at the right time.

Suffice it to say that I have been faced with one such problem this week, and I think that I've finally got all the answers and the waters are now calming. I think that for some weird reason, God likes me well enough to keep me employed - keeping me in the right place at the right time. Then again, He knows that I've got a family to feed and a life to finance.

Yesterday, I was wondering how you pound an oversize, round peg through an undersize, square hole. Now, I'm going, "Oh. Like that." I don't know why I always get so worked up, as these things have a way of working out. I know that I didn't really tell you much of anything in this post, but I hope that you will both be patient with me until the next one. Thanks again.

W - The President - Part III

2008-08-14T12:49:00.003-05:00

The latest polls indicate that G. W. B.'s approval rating is hovering around the 30% mark. I have to admit that the guy is a little goofy, but he's got class. I think that this viral video clip illustrates both points in that last sentence beautifully. He loves his wife enough to respect her rather than get a cheap feel of some firm, athletic ass, even if his production through the situation is awkward at best. Why do approximately 70% of The American People disapprove of him so? I think that it's a lack of class. Yes, I'm saying that almost three quarters of The American People have no class. This is what feeds the crap that we see on T. V. - think Desperate Housewives, Big Brother, etc. There are tons of these smatterings of fecal matter on the tube that I don't want my 9-year-old to watch.

I'm sure glad that I'm not a direct employee of The American Citizenship who are more interested in following rumors, gossip, and tabloid that journalism currently is than they are to open their minds and accept the facts. What facts? The facts are that a man can make a really good call on all the information available at the time, and when it turns out that the information was flawed, it does not make him a "liar."

The facts and common sense dictate that once we have started a political restructuring in another country, which is going to better the lives of all the people of said country, and we find out that the conditions under which we are there were erroneous, we can't simply pack up and say, "Oh, sorry guys. We thought there was stuff going on here that may or may not have been. We'll just let you get back to your own business then."

The facts are that the presence of yellow cake uranium and hidden fighter jets buried in the desert are a sign of a greater problem in a country that considers us an enemy, and taking out an evil dictator is never a bad idea. I hope that if we were under an evil dictator that was killing us at random, some other country would have the benevolence to take him out for us. Speaking of which and referring back to the media, why is it that I don't remember ever seeing anything about the Russian fighters on the news? Hmm...

The fact is that no matter how much people whine about how bad a president he is, he keeps on trucking and making decisions that his heart tells him are right and best for his people. That's class.

The fact is that he has performed no illegal acts that could get him impeached, unlike his predecessor (who incidentally, lacked such class), much to the utter dismay of that aforementioned 70%.

Well, I'm going to have to cut off my railing for now. Next time maybe we'll look at some other people's class - like John Edwards...

Cooking Fail

2008-08-13T11:30:00.003-05:00

First of all let me say that my recreational internet time has been more devoted to firearms than kittens recently. That being said, Thanks to the folks over at daily kitten, I had fish tacos on the brain on my way home last night. I didn't go with the recipe cited in the linked thread, but came up with my own recipe on the fly. I decided to do a piece of salmon fillet and a tuna steak, seared on each side and sliced. I was going to wrap them in tortillas with fresh spinach, tomato slices, avocado slices, and diced kalamata olives. This is not what happened.

We went to the store to buy the necessary ingredients. We bought a gorgeous salmon fillet and a beautiful tuna steak. They had some beautiful romas, and although I wanted to buy a smaller quantity of spinach, I contented myself to buy the full bag. We picked the ripest two avocados that we found in the bin and a bag of flour tortillas.

I put the skillet on the stove top to pre-heat it, as the range is a crappy, contractor model that has all of 32-BTU's. While it was heating, I started slicing my avocado. Much to my utter dismay, it was far from ripe. Jenni suggested that I place the rubbery slices in the skillet and maybe the heating would soften them. I had never tried this before. The only time I had cooked avocado previously was when we battered and deep-fried avocado wedges and dipped them in chocolate sauce (and that was freaking amazing). This sounded like a reasonable enough idea to me so I placed them in the skillet, and they quickly became blackened, rubbery, avocado slices.

I frustratedly speared the chunks on my chef knife (which was harder than it sounds) and placed them in the garbage, deciding that their sacrifice would not ruin dinner. I put the two slabs of fish in the skillet with some grapeseed oil. Why grapeseed oil? Grapeseed oil will not burn in a skillet like olive oil will - or so I've been told. Apparently, the 32-BTU's and the thick-bottomed skillet were able to produce enough heat to split atoms as the grapeseed oil immediately started burning and smoked up the entire house. When I got the fish out of the skillet and started slicing them, they were not seared. They were DONE.

I heated the tortillas, but was so flustered over the avocados, grapeseed oil, and fish that I completely forgot to pit and dice my olives. What should have been a very savory dinner turned out to be quite bland and uninteresting. It was pretty, but that doesn't really matter when the food HAS NO FLAVOR.

I still think that my recipe would have been quite delicious if I had followed it, but there wasn't enough left of the original concept once I was through. It was sustenance, and that was all. Next time, I'll prepare all of my veggies (olives included) prior to even heating the skillet. Also, I will use no oil of any kind, and rely on the oils in the fish to lubricate the skillet. It's a non-stick pan, and even if I have to do a little scraping afterward, it will more than justify avoiding the smoke throughout the house. Oh well. I know my next attempt will be better as it could not possibly get much worse.

Hurt

2008-08-12T12:15:00.002-05:00

Those have most power to hurt us, that we love.

--Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher, from The Maid's Tragedy. ref.

Life is hard. We go through many painful experiences in life. Most of those that I've been through I would not trade for anything. The experience of being poor and having to figure out how to better myself for example - nobody should be denied that life-shaping experience. There is something about the privilege of facing hopelessness and working one's way out of it successfully that is entirely too rewarding to take away with welfare or inheritance or someone else bailing one out in some way or another. These experiences are character-building. The most beautiful flowers grow on active volcanoes, and the colorful beta lives in polluted, dirty water that you might not think would be fit for habitation.

On the other hand, there are painful experiences that do not make us stronger, but leave us weaker with scars that last years after the fact. These are what I think of as gunslinger's scars. Even after what seems like ages since the incident, these injuries may still be tender and sensitive. No matter how the original injury was inflicted, these scars are those that we keep most secret and the most well-guarded - and for good reason. Nobody wants these injuries to be opened up again. Nothing good came from them in the first place, and we will avoid a recurrence of the experience nearly at any cost.

With this latter type of injury, of course it is those that we love who will irritate the old injury by the very virtue of these people being close. We don't put up our guard against our loved ones as we do strangers or acquaintances for good reason. When a loved one hurts us in one of these sensitive areas, they do not mean to, if the love is requited. But, out of clumsiness or carelessness they are inevitably bound to cause further injury at one time or another. The will to forgive cannot change the pain inflicted. The conundrum therein is that which is most difficult to explain because it sound insincere. "I forgive you, but it still hurts." Rather than the truth that it is, it comes across as sounding like lip-service served with a side of holding it over the other's head. I don't want to think of these as "permanent" scars so much as "persistent" scars. I keep mine well hidden and well protected for the most part. Once in a great while though, a loved-one will brush against these wounds and they hurt in all the bleeding agony as they did when they were first, violently inflicted.

Once in a great while, a product or good is damaged to the point that it must return to the place of manufacture. There are various repair shops at which you can have virtually any high-quality product repaired. However, if your Swiss watch was run over by a truck and shattered, a trip to the local jewelry shop might be as effective as putting a band-aid on third-degree burns. No amount of a run of the mill watchmaker's skill is going to make that watch as it once was. At that point, it might be about time to send the watch back to the manufacturer in Europe to have the original maker see what they can do with it. Sometimes, we experience such deep pain as this. That is why I offer this prayer:

Dear LORD,

Please allow my heart peace. Heal the wounds that I am unable to heal on my own. Comfort my loved ones in the knowledge that I am not embittered against them, but that I do forgive them, and please help them to not irritate the scars any more. I cannot make this journey without you. If the pain never goes away, please give me the strength to bear it. I am not big enough and strong enough to do this on my own, so I go to The Original Maker for repairs. I put my life in your hands.

Amen

Gun Physics Lesson - August 2008

2008-08-11T09:43:00.002-05:00

To both my readers,

I've learned something with the daily carrying. When I use the toilet and my pants are unfastened, it takes approximately 3-lbs of force on the back of my belt to pull my pants clean off. My gun weighs approximately 2.5-lbs. Yeah. I have to stand funny, and urinals are completely out. It looks like it will be stalls for me from now on. I suppose I'll have to be careful about any other weight I put on my belt. I've been shocked and amazed at how invisible my firearm actually is in my daily routine. Every time I reveal to someone that I am carrying (of course in privacy, only to people that I really know) they are surprised. My dad has observed that even though he knows that I'm carrying, he's always surprised to feel it on my back when he gives me a hug, because it's so well hidden. Not bad for minimal wardrobe change on my 150-lb frame carrying a 7-shot .357 Magnum! I don't even dress like a gangster! I suppose that means that I'm doing it right.

In related news - On Saturday I focused primarily on shooting my carry gun as I shot it terribly in the previous range session. Let me define "terribly" for you. It was accurate enough to get the job done in real-life scenarios, but that's not really good enough for me. I know that there are particular stresses in the heat of the moment that can cause accuracy failures. I want to be dead-accurate without even thinking about it. I HAVE to be dead-accurate without thinking about it. If it ever came down to it (LORD, please shield me from such situations), even the slightest delay or lapse in concentration could mean the difference between living or dying. I did remarkably better in this range session, advancing my target all the way out to about 20-yds and still keeping about a 5-inch group. Albeit, my group center was a little low and to the right, but such things can be easily dealt with once the consistency is there. I didn't have any wild fliers this time around, and the groups were nice and round. I want to keep up this effort until I am able to do sub-3-inch groups at a full 30-yards even with the little 3-inch barrel on my Model 586. I don't think that this is an unreasonable goal. I suppose only time will tell. Until next time...

Obamabomb

2008-07-28T16:13:00.004-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the next Commander of Chief of the 57 United States of America!

Action Adventure Vacation 2008 Part V - Finale

2008-07-28T13:09:00.006-05:00

On Friday, we woke up to see that the storm had passed, and it was a bright and sunny morning. We donned our swimsuits and headed south on I45 toward Galveston. The drive was a relatively easy one. Something I've noticed is how the driving populace reacts to weather changes. When a front or weather system is on its way, people act weird behind the wheel. At the cessation, with fair weather coming in, they tend to normalize and relax. This was one of those days. Crossing the water to the island was amazing.

I had another one of those moments where a childhood memory came to surface. It seemed that I had been here before, and I seem to recall visiting family friends in the Houston area years (possibly decades) ago, with a side trip to Galveston. I recall going to a hole-in-the-wall seafood joint where I had one of my first (if not my very first) experience eating calamari. It was not sliced rings like I've seen since, but rather tiny whole squids fried to perfection. I remember it creeping me out before I actually tasted it, and I have loved calamari since.

Driving through Galveston, Jenni and I enjoyed the architecture and the propensity of restaurants labeled "Doughnuts Kolaches Burritos". Seems like one heck of a combination, doesn't it? I imagine that would cause some gastric problems for me, anyway. We giggled at the Washaterias versus the Laundramats that we have in our area. I45 became Broadway just as I235 becomes Broadway in our home town. And similarly, it eventually ended. We were spat out on the beach and looked for a place to park.

We passed up two crowded beaches that had an eight-dollar-entry fee. We found a sign on a gravel parking lot marked "Pedestrian Beach Access". I was thrilled by the fact that there were only a hand-full of cars parked in this lot. We locked all of our stuff in the trunk of the car - including our phones - and ventured down the hot gravel path toward the slate-colored sandy beach. Sure enough, there were several other parties on this beach, but they were mostly couples that seemed to have no interest in anything but each other - perfect. The water was breath taking. It was the perfect color of blue-green, the waves were gently breaking with 3- to 5-foot peaks. Although the air was hot, there was a cool breeze coming off the water, and the water was the perfect temperature. I can't tell you what that is, but that it was.

The experience was mesmerizing, and I was reminded of how foreign salt water is to me, having always lived in a land-locked state. We took pictures of each other and the birds. We collected a few shells and water-worn stones. We romped in the waves like a couple of kids. It was relaxing and wonderful. Eventually, we decided to make the trek back up to the car. By the time we got to the car and got dressed, by feet were on fire from the gravel.

We left the beach in search of a place to get a drink. We wound up at Fish Tales, near the beach. We were seated at the corner of their outside balcony, overlooking the beach beyond the street below us. Looking at their drink menu, I became aware that it consisted of the girly, frou-frou drinks. I didn't really want to bother interrogating the waiter on what else I might be able to get, and I didn't really want a beer, so when Jenni ordered the "Hammer Head" I ordered the same. The drink he brought was a small fish bowl of iced sugar-watter with an ounce or two of some kind of rum in it. There was a spear of fruit salad across the top. When I squeezed three types of citrus wedges from the spear into my drink, it became palatable.

We ordered the "Shrimp Kisses" which are butterflied shrimp stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon before going to the grill, and of course calamari. The food was wonderful, including the fresh-baked sourdough loaf that was brought to our table. As we ate, the little avian beggers eyed us hungrily. Pigeons and starlings circled our table like little feathered sharks. There were even a couple of sea gulls that hovered over the banister, clearly weighing the risk of our retaliation if they decided to snatch a bite from our table. The birds were not bothersome though, only very present. When we finished our snack, I tore chunks off one small piece of bread that we had left and watched the pigeons vie for the crumbs. Jenni fed two of them from her hand. No, they weren't tame at all!

Once we had no further excuse to hang around, we started back north on I45. Curtis called Jenni's phone on our way up the highway. Apparently, he had tried mine when it was in the trunk at the beach. He said that he was grilling burgers and we could come by any time we wanted to. When we got to Curtis and Andrea's house, Kay was already there, and Curtis was in the pool - drinking a beer and smoking a cigar. I stopped at the bathroom on my way through and Jenni went to the back yard. When I got out there she was in the pool, and Curtis asked me, "Dude, what's with the clothes?"

I said that they do come off, and stripped to my swim trunks that I had worn under my jeans all day. I too had a cigar and a beer in the pool. A couple of hamburgers and several beers later, after much great conversation, Jenni and I excused ourselves a little on the early side. We said our good-byes and headed back to Kay's house. We changed into clean, non-salty clothing and slipped out again. We located a small place where we could sit and have a scotch and chat about our week. We each had a Glenlivet on the rocks, and had a great time people-watching - as we always do. We went to sleep relatively early, and woke up relatively early to make our trip home.

We didn't realize that we were leaving on Saturday morning until Saturday morning. We honestly felt like we could have stayed another week, but we didn't feel like we needed to. So over coffee we loaded up the car, and all of our new-found treasures, said our good-byes to Kay, and headed north on I45.

She told us that we needed to stop by the smokehouse in Centerville, TX. As it turned out, Centerville was about where we needed to stop for gas and a restroom, so it made the perfect pit stop. They had a buffet-style cafe line where we got smoked German sausage and ribs, beans, jalapeños, and free iced tea, although I opted for water. The food was good, and the stop was welcome.

On the drive home, Beej called us and asked if we felt up to meeting at the gun range. We had brought our guns in the hope that we might find a range in the Houston area to visit, but wound up not making such an outing. The thought of doing a little shooting on the way back into town was nice. We had fun in the range, but only had the patience and stamina to do that for a little while. We got to try shooting her newly purchased Sig P225, and I picked up the knife that I won in the drawing last weekend. When we got home, it was drinks and relaxation.

As anticlimactic as it always is, we are now back to business as usual. This has been one of our better trips, though.

Action Adventure Vacation Part IV

2008-07-25T10:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, we decided to go to Spec's on everyone's recomendation. We looked up the address and tried to enter it into the GPS - which would have nothing to do with that address. The little Magellan has been good to us for several years now, and it might just be about time to replace it with an updated unit. I understand that even the updated maps for this model leave a little to be desired, and they are quite expensive. It is on the edge of becomming an unsupported unit. Fortunately, there is such a thing as google maps. We printed out a map that we would use for our trip. The original plan was for us to go to the St. Arnold Brewery after Spec's as breweries and wineries are some of the most fascinating places to visit out of town. It was a St. Arnold ale that Curtis had shared with me the previous day. The brewery is a logical nine-mile step further than Spec's, so it jut seemed like the thing to do, and the Magellan did like that address.

I brushed my teeth, and shaved with my brand-new straight razor and only nicked my face and neck three or four times. I can tell that once I get the hang of it, it will take me less time, and produce a cleaner shave than I've been able to accomplish with any prior equipment. I consider a mere three or four cuts to be quite a success for the first try with such an apparatus. It was about 11:30 when we headed out for our daily adventures.

We got to Spec's, which is a liquor store the size of a Wal-Mart. Think Beer Heaven, or Beer Nirvana, if you will. The employees touted it as the largest liquor store in the world, and I have no reason to doubt the truth of that statement. There were isles upon isles of beer, wine and spirits. They also had specialty foods, a deli, glassware, barware, specialty soft drinks, and a walk-in humidor. We found so many things that we would love to own, but finally pared our purchasing down to under the $100-mark. With very little effort, we could have topped the $1000-mark, had the funds been available of course. A store employee nervously approached as I handled a Riedel Sommelier Zinfandel glass. This was approximately a 30-oz glass, mouth blown by some guy in Austria, and I have been unable to find it on Riedel's website. I suspect that this glass was part of a custom run. At $100 per stem, it was a relative bargain! But it did not come home with me, as I left behind a lot of things that would have been wonderful to bring home. They stocked goods that I've only ever seen in catalogs before. It was truly amazing. Once I had gotten comfortable in the store, I called my dad since he is a beer buff.

"Dad," I said, "If you could have a six-pack of any beer in the world, what would it be?"

"I don't know. I'd have to think about it. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm in the biggest liquor store you could even imagine, and I bet they've got it."

"Wow! I don't know, but it would probably be something German. Listen, I've got to go."

So, we made our way over to the German beer section. The friendly and helpful staff sent their in-house German beer expert to help us. That gentleman knew A LOT about German beer. I identified the couple of German beers that I knew were not available at the local OK liquor store. I wound up getting a bottle each of Flensburger's Dunkle, Gold, Weizen, and Pilsner. I also picked up five bottles of Pinkus Certified Organic Munster Alt to break out for Sunday lunch. If all of the Flensburgers make it home, I'll give them to Dad. We also bought the tiny steel beads that scrub your decanter for you - I've been wanting to pick up some of these for a while, but I've never seen them in real life before. I found some of the anchovy-suffed olives that I love to make dirty martinis with. These are soaked in chardonnay. We also bought a $20-jar of cherries.

"What," you might ask, "could possibly make a jar of cherries worth $20?" And so, I shall tell you. They are a particular variety of French, wild-growing cherry soaked in liquor from Griottines. More specifically, they are wild Morello cherries in liqueur and Kirsch. They are like tiny little bites of heaven, and will garnish many of my Manhattans until the jar is tragically empty. Because of Draconian liquor laws in Oklahoma, these are impossible to legally buy or sell in my home state. OK liquor stores can only sell alcoholic beverages. They can't sell glasses, tobacco, food, or anything but booze. Any non-liquor store cannot sell anything with an alcoholic content exceeding 3.2% alcohol by volume. Since this jar of cherries is food with an alcoholic content of 15% by volume, it cannot be sold in a liquor store or any other kind of store in the state of Oklahoma. We should petition the Nafeh's to do something about that. I wonder if I can order them when I run out...

Another French item that we purchased that I didn't realize was available in this country is Edmond Fallot Tarragon Dijon Mustard. If you have never had artisan-made green mustard on a rye sandwich, you are missing out on a life experience. Heck, I'm a mustard lover anyway. Anything but French's-style plain yellow mustard in a plastic bottle is fair game as far as I'm concerned. I probably could have blown a full $100.00 on mustard alone in that silly store, honestly enough.

We got the #14 Scottish Kilt sandwich for lunch and split it. What is it about smoked salmon and cream cheese made into a sandwich? That's the kind of food God eats - I'm pretty sure. We each picked some essoterric soft drink to have with our lunch, and I can't remember the name of either. Jenni got some kind of orange drink with ginger in it, and I got some kind of botanical cola. They were both tasty. There were soft drinks that I didn't know were available here as well! We bought several bottles of Mexican Coca Cola. I don't know why we can make the stuff taste that good in the U. S. Strange. Also, they have some exclusively Peruvian beverages that I have not seen outside of Peru. They had Inca Kola (a fizzy, yellow liquid that tastes something like anise) and chicha (a bizarre purple beverage made mostly of blue corn juice). Jenni and I split a bottle of cold chicha, which is chocked full of antioxidants and sugar.

After all of that, we decided to skip the brewery. That evening, we met up with Kay, Curtis, and Andrea and went to a sushi joint for dinner. The sushi was decent, and the Sapporo was cold. Over dinner, I asked Curtis if he would like to smoke a cigar after dinner. He sarchastically commented that he hated cigars, and I couldn't force one on him. After dinner, Andrea went home as she had to get up early for work, and the remaining four of us returned to Kay's back porch. I broke out two of my Nat Sherman cigars that my friend Beej bought for me in New York City. I really enjoyed mine and apparently curtis enjoyed his as well, since he smoked it until he had about 1/2-inch of cigar roach stuck on a toothpick. That's about when he gave up on that one. Curtis, Jenni and I had Maker's Mark on the rocks, garnished with our high-dollar cherries and then a bottle of Gautier VSOP cognac that Kay had stuffed in a closet. Jenni and I also sipped on Sauza tequila. Kay sipped on a rose that she preferred over the hard stuff. We had a great time chatting and laughing until it was nearly morning.

There was a large, mean, ugly cat that came to make trouble with Kay's menagerie of domestics and steal a little food. Jenni correctly identified him as a Scottish fold. Man, that was an ugly cat! The pictures I've seen of them on the internet are odd looking, but that individual was one ugly bastard!

I believe that I had more to drink, but I lost count. My head told me that I had more than that to drink when I woke up this morning. It was a great time - the kind of time that vacations are about. I hope to have more to report tomorrow.

Oh, by the way - I caught a small gecko in our bedroom this morning. That was interesting.

Action Adventure Vacation 2008 Part III

2008-07-24T09:05:00.003-05:00

To both my readers,

This has been the most unexpected getaway Jenni and I have ever had. Yesterday, we met up with Gatakitty from dailykitten.com and her two kids. We had lunch at Ninfa's with them at Houston's Galleria. The lunch menu is wonderful there, and if those were smaller portions, I don't want to even think about the dinner menu! We made our introductions after Jenni clairvoyantly identified Gatakitty. Her son is twelve, and is over-the-top respectful. He maturely engages in conversation and avidly uses such formalities as "sir" and "maam." After lunch, he ran off to play video games. Her daughter is sixteen, and belies her age with her maturity and thoughtfulness. In conversation, she was critical of other girls her age lack of conservative dress, and displayed an intelligence that is rarely seen with adults even. With the young master off playing video games, the remaining four of us walked the Galleria, admiring things we can't afford, and ridiculing the idiocity of concepts such as paying nearly $2,000 for a DKNY dress that was made in a sweat shop by Chinese children. Talk about dancing on the backs of the bruised!

I discovered vests! In many of the window displays at the designer stores, they had men's outfits with wool, lapelled vests over a t-shirt and jeans or a collared shirt and slacks, and they looked nice! In the winter, I will be wearing sport coats as I always do, which make wonderful cover garments for on-waistband-carry, but they are simply too warm to wear in 100+ degree heat. I've been wearing an unbuttoned camp/bowling/Hawaiian styled-shirt over a t-shirt as my cover garment this Summer, and I don't particularly like the sloppy look. I have read time and time again that one must adjust one's wardrobe when making the decision to carry a concealed weapon, and I had begrudgingly accepted that idea. The vest makes me reconsider the core principle of it, though. The adjustments to the wardrobe don't necessarily need to be contrary to the spirit of the wardrobe. Clothing zen...

Gatakitty called Neiman Marcus "Needless Markup." That was freaking hysterical! We rifled through the "sale" racks in Saks - which was stupid since we couldn't afford to pay $1500 for a Prada dress on sale any more than we could afford to pay the origianal $5000. After some time, Gatakitty became concerned about my ability to hold up under the pressure of looking at dresses. I told her that I was fine. The truth of the matter is that I love looking at well-made women's clothing. A beautiful woman's garment is such a feat of artistry and engineering alike that it appeals to the masculane, mechanical side of my mind as well as the artistic, loves-beautiful-stuff side of my mind. I swear that one of these days, I'm going to try my hand at designing and making women's clothing!

At a store called The Wild Pair, we found shoes that were made in China, and shoes that were made in places that are not reknown for sweat shop labor. When we visited this store on Tuesday, they had a pair of Portuguese-made, pointy-toed, mottled-gray, patent-leather, men's wingtips. These were marked down from one hundred, some-odd dollars to twenty-nine. Unfortunately, I was not wearing socks. Yesterday when we went back in, the same pair of shoes had been marked down by an additional ten dollars. I tried them on this last time, and they got rave reviews from all the girls that were there. I decided that for less than twenty dollars, I could give them a whirl even if they are a little outside of my comfort style. Gatakitty's sixteen-year-old daughter seemed particularly impressed with them, which egged me on as I don't want to age into one of those men who is so rigid that they dress like an old man. I don't want to be dressing like a kid when I'm old, but there's nothing wrong with youthful style for anyone in the right doses.

I pulled two pairs of ladies shoes off the shelf and offered them to Jenni for her inspection. She said that she had eyed the one pair the previous day. It was a pair of yellow, snake-skin, 3.5-inch stillettos, made in Paris. They were $19. the other pair was a molded-plywood sole with a metallic pink, patent-leather buckle strap also with a 3.5-inch spike, made in Italy for $19. I was ready to leave the store, and she seemed to be wrenched between the two shoes. I told her that I thought she should get both. She looked at me and said, "I love you - so much." Geez, that was easy. Who knew that the suggestion to spend an additional $20 on shoes could make me the hero? Sorry, but the husbands who have a hard time scoring with their wives aren't getting the wives enough shoes, apparently. She gets more shoes than I do. 2:1 to 4:1, somewhere in that ratio. This is the natural order of things, and it's my duty to make sure that she has more quality shoes than plastic, blister-inducing pieces of crap that many women are drawn to like a racoon to shiny objects. (See shoes below)

And, that would be one of the many things that I love about women. God showed us his divine sense of humor in creating the difference between the genders. It's sick that one side should ever ridicule the other. We should laugh at, celebrate, and enjoy the differences. I for one try to enjoy my wife's femininity as often as possible.

There was another store at the mall called Necessary Luxuries that looked at first glance like a glamor knife shop. You know the kind I'm talking about - rows and rows of fantasy/sci-fi looking knives that were all made in a dark warehouse somewhere in a mythical land called "Pakistan." Deeper in the store though, we saw some very interesting blades and other fine objects and met the owner, Lee Prudhomme. There was a very well-stocked Victorinox case, there was a shelf of hand-turned, wooden yo-yos and pens, and there was a case of old-fashioned shaving supplies. In this final case, he had safety razors with stands, shaving brushes, blades, cream supplies, straight razors, sharpening stones and leather. I found this to be particularly interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, my daily shave is an electric. When I use the new multi-blade razors, they irritate my face. Occasionally I have used an antique safety razor, but have never been terribly fond of it outside of the close shave. When Jenni packed our toiletries, she left my electric behind, and I was beginning to get fuzzy. So, I bought myself a razor. Mr. Prudomme showed me one that is functionally like a straight razor, but takes half of a safety razor blade in a catch, so it doesn't have to be sharpened. He said that this is a great way to economically try out old-fashioned shaving, without putting down the money on the supplies neeeded to get started with the genuine stuff. I took the bait, and am pleased to say that I successfully shaved with my new straight razor this morning. I have a feeling that Jenni will be buying me a nice, carbon-steel straight blade with a stone and a strop, possibly a brush and cup as well. I love my Blackberry and my fuel-injected, DOHC engine, but some modern things are clumbsy substitutes at best for their predecessors. Mr. Prudhomme is gifted with great conversation, and I would recommend that anyone take the time to step into his shop to talk blades, antiques, or geneology.

I know that I've been long-winded with this post, but please do just stick with me here as I'm almost done.

Last night, Kay (whose house we are staying at this week) took us over to her son Curtis' house. She said that we would get along great with Curtis and his wife, Andrea. We got to the house and parked our black Sentra SE-R Spec V in front of his older model black Sentra SE-R. We went inside to find that the house was in a state of remodel - much like ours. Walking into the living room, we spotted a multimedia projector mounted to the ceiling over a centrally-placed couch facing a wall, which reminded us of our own home-theater projector setup. Although our screen is a painted 91-inch, and Curtis' is a 96-inch pull-down. Like me, Curtis does all the cooking and doesn't let his wife cook for him. We talked scotch and cigars, smoked cigars, and had some of the better ale that I've had. Yeah. I like Curtis and Andrea. He grilled fajita steak, and we ate fajitas and watched the first 2/3 of Bad Boys II. In fact, it was kind of creepy as it was almost like being at home, as though I had just met some kind of doppleganger in a parallel universe - he's even a red-head. Curtis gave me a J. Fuego Delirium maduro cigar that was simply wonderful! Unlike a typical Dominican that you have to warm up with the first inch or so of tobacco before you really get to the flavor, this thing was going full-throttle from light-up like a Cuban! I had no headache this morning, and the nasty morning-after-cigar mouth-taste was faint and disappeared with my coffee (I haven't brushed my teeth yet - I'm on vacation and I'll get to it).

Today, more adventures are certainly ahead of us, and I expect to be back at Curtis and Andrea's this evening. I fully expect scotch and cigars, but I may have to treat the cigars this time. We'll see, and I'll keep you updated.

Action Adventure Vacation 2008 Part II

2008-07-23T10:02:00.002-05:00

As Standing Wolf said to me on thehighroad.org,

May you always have a gun near to hand, and may you never need it.

Amen to that. We woke up on Tuesday, and I was on a quest to find tobacco. I failed to get an ample supply to make it through this trip. The cigarettes I smoke are Nat Sherman natural cigarettes. These are the highest-quality all-natural cigarettes available. They are made in New York, and are a little more expensive than the big brands, but I find that I smoke far less of them, and they don't make me stink as Phillip Morris or RJ Reynolds products tend to. They don't usually carry these at the corner store, but almost always carry them at a dedicated tobacco store - usually pipe and cigar stores, etc.

On Tuesday morning, we thought that we might make it out to the beach in Galveston, and we didn't know where we would or would not be permitted to carry, and we didn't want to have to leave our guns in the car unattended, so we decided to leave them locked up in the house that we are staying for the week. Through the course of the day, we felt underdressed at the Galleria - which is kind of nice actually. When you go into the Armani or Versace store WEARING Armani or Versace, they get pushy. When you walk in slumming it, they just watch you to make sure you don't steal anything. Fine. Watch and make sure I don't steal anything, but leave me alone for the sake of all that is good and right and hand-crafted in Italy! Frankly, I am not going to spend that on a piece of clothing. That's why I buy all of my stuff second-hand. When I have the opportunity, I like to go in to see the current styles, nothing more. If I'm going to make an exception and spend the money on off the rack product, I will do it at Mr. Ooley's in Oklahoma City. I have bugged those guys so many times that they deserve my business, unlike the employees of a mall store that will see me for twenty minutes in their lifetime, thank you very much.

We had lunch at O'Cajcen's Kitchen, before we drove up and down I45, looking for a smoke shop. The fried crawfish tails were wonderful, and the service was great. We saw the first evidence of Hurricane Dolly while dining, as her torrent came down in fury for about ten minutes prior to the sun coming back out to make the humidity come up to about 682%.

On I45, I saw a billboard-sized sign that read something to the effect of "*something-or-other* Smoke Shop" and thought that sounded like the ticket to find my Nat Shermans. We pulled off the hightway and slowly navigated our way into the indicated shopping center. We pulled past empty storefronts, and one with painted windows labeled "Liquid" in neon. I don't know whether it was a strip club or a dance club, and I don't really care. The entire place was seedy, and I wanted to take care of my business and get out. The 4:30 position on my back was screaming that it did not have it's gun, even though I'm not usually conciously aware of it when I'm carrying anymore. I hate to make judgements on people by their looks, but the people that I saw in the vast parking lot did not inspire trust from me.

We arrived at the storefront of the "smoke shop" and I pulled the car into a parking space by the door next to big-wheeled cars. We walked inside to seek tobacco - as one might when entering a smoke shop. Inside we found t-shirts, CD's, and glass water bongs. There was rap music playing, and I was not completely aware that I was the only white person in the house, but everyone else was. This store is run by Victor and his brother. They didn't tell me that they were brothers, but it was quite obvious as they looked more alike than my brother and I do. Victor introduced himself, shook my hand and asked if he could help me find anything. He was very courteous, and tried to hide the glaring fact that he thought I was lost. Ignoring the fact that all eyes in the house were on me, I reciprocated the introduction as I shook his hand and told Victor that I wanted to have a look around. He said that he would be available if I needed any help.

As we made our way around the store, I noted how it's a shame that the Bush administration has come down so hard on drug paraphernalia, as glass water bongs are quite beautiful from an artistic standpoint. So many art glass shops have either shut down or resorted to making sex toys due to the abrupt prosecution of head shops. The selection of mouth-blown bongs, pipes, and pinch-hitters was quite impressive - as was the selection of metal varieties and lighters. I personally do not use any illegal drugs, but I was not born yesterday and knew that none of these objects were for tobacco use, regardless of what any disclaimer signs say in the shop. In fact, I did not see one cigarette, cigar, tobacco pipe, or even an ounce of pipe tobacco. That's when we started making our way to the front of the shop to leave.

Victor stopped us on our way out and asked if we needed help finding anything. I turned to him and said, "You don't sell any tobacco here do you?" Upon his affirmation that they did not, I said with what I imagine was a sly smile, "Oh, so it's not THAT kind of smoke shop, huh?" A woman in the corner guffawed at my comment.

"Nah," he replied, "We did, but we weren't making any money at it, so he stopped carrying the cigarettes and stuff."

"That sounds like the smart thing to do," I said, "You've got to follow where the market leads, afterall."

"Yeh. I guess maybe we should change the name of the shop, but he hasn't gotten around to doing that," Victor explained.

I sincerely thanked Victor for his help (and hospitality), and we returned to our car which was rattling from the bass of the car that had just pulled next to ours. The driver eyed me suspiciously as he deliberately set off the alarm of the car on the opposite side of ours with his gigantic speakers. I carefully watched Jenni get into the car and pretended not to watch all around me as I slipped into my side of the car. Jenni hit the lock button before I could get to it on my door.

Long story short, I didn't find the exact variety that I was looking for but ultimately did find Nat Sherman cigarettes that will tide me over until next week. Standing Wolf's words haunted me in that I would not have used my gun in the situation as it was, but it sure would have been nice to have it at my side. I hope I never find myself in a situation where I'm forced to resort to such violence, but I never intend to be without the means again. You just never know where you will end up, and you can never predict who you will run into or what their story will be.

Action Adventure Vacation 2008 Part I

2008-07-23T08:39:00.003-05:00

To both my readers, enjoy.

It has now been about six weeks since I got my conceal carry permit. Needless to say, I'm still trying to get aquainted with the life of daily carrying. When people are surprised to learn that I have been carrying a 7-shot .357 Magnum right under their noses, I know that I have done my job right. On Monday after a very busy day of work, Jenni and I headed out towards Houston. This will be the first out of town trip that we have taken with our CCW permits.

We left from my workplace with the intent of getting to our destination as early as possible. The drive down was fairly uneventful through Dallas, and we decided to stop and get gas and eats once we had cleared the Dallas bustle - just after the half-way mark on our trip. Once we had refueled the car and our own bodies, we started out again. It was about 8:30, it was starting to get dark, and I noticed that the law enforcement was thick in stopping people on this particular section of I45.

So, I made sure to adhere to the posted speed limit, being out of state and seeing others who had not made the same decision on the side of the road with the flashing blues and reds that seem purple with these new LED's that the cop cars are now equipped with. About thirty miles out, I saw a State Trooper parked on the side of the road with his lights off. When we passed him, I saw his headlights come on and he pulled out into traffic. I double-checked my speed and ran through a list in my head, making sure that I could not be his target. I saw him pull closer to our car, and his red and blue lights came on right behind us. "Oh, come on!" I exclaimed, "What in the world do you want from ME?" as I pulled the car to the shoulder and rolled down the window.

There is a certain protocol in a contact with a law enforcement officer when one is legally carrying a handgun. I put my hands where they were completely visible, one out the driver's side window and the other on the passenger headrest. After waiting in the bath of floodlights for what seemed an eternity in the cooling humidity, the officer approached the passenger-side window, and Jenni rolled it down. He was a young man, probably about my age, seemed to be about my build, and fortunately seemed to be in a good mood. I could see his traditional straw cowboy hat and his WW-II G.I.-esque tan shirt, short-sleeved with epaulettes. I was so incredibly nervous that I was shaking like a leaf. I knew that if I did everything that I was supposed to it would be fine, but the fact of the matter is that this was the first time that I have been in this particular situation. Before I could inform him that I was legally carrying a weapon, he started talking, pointing his flashlight in our faces.

"I'm sure you are wondering why I pulled you over," he said, "You have a tag light out, and you need to get that taken care of," he continued before I could get a word in edgewise, "If I could see your license and registration, I'll get you a written warning - no ticket - and yall can get on your way."

At this point, I did what I've been trained to do. Without moving my hands, I said, "Yes sir, but I need to tell you that..."

Before I could finish my sentance he interjected, "What, you got a gun?"

"Yes sir," I said, "and I do have my license to carry."

He waived his hand at me in dismissal, "That's ok. We're cool with guns around here."

It was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I asked my wife to retrieve the insurance card from the glove box as I picked up my wallet from the center console and pulled out my driver and handgun licenses. I handed the officer all three cards as I am supposed to with such an encounter.

"Oh cool!" he said, "I hadn't seen an Oklahoma permit before! Yours looks better than ours does!" Then, leaning deeply over the passenger window sill he asked, "If you don't mind me asking, how much does that cost there?"

"It's about $200.00 once all is said and done," I replied.

"Yeah," he said thoughtfully, "same here."

I then asked, "Is is good for five years here too?"

He rolled his eyes in contemplation, "I... think so." He laughed and continued, "I should know that seeing as how it's my department. I guess I need to double check that stuff when I get the chance. So, do they give it to you unless you're a felon there too?"

"Absolutely," I answered, "as long as the paperwork is filed properly and the record is clean, they will issue the permit."

"I think everybody ought to get their CHL and carry a gun," he said somberly.

"Me too," I agreed.

Leaning over the window sill again, he added with just a touch of venom in his words, "As far as I'm concerned, it just keeps the felons in check!"

I agreed, and with that he went back to his car to write the warning. Jenni and I giggled the entire time that we waited this second time. This had been by far the most pleasant experience that I've ever had being pulled over. He returned to the car with the warning, reiterating that it would be accompanied with no fees or anything else. He wished us safety and happy gunning, and sent us on our way. About twenty miles later, we pulled into a Love's Travel Stop to change the light bulbs on the license plate. When I applied pressure on the screws to access the bulbs, they came back on. I poked around at them for a minute, and they remained on. So, we shrugged our shoulders and continued on our way. So, we now have that random little anecdote in our life's resume. The funniest things happen when people are involved, don't they?

Sharing Toothbrushes?

2008-07-21T12:34:00.002-05:00

There are things that happen to us as children that seem queer at the time. Many of these things that we experience, we write off as lack of experience and move on. I have forgotten more bizarre childhood experiences than I remember because of this. Once in a great while, there will be a circumstance that pulls one of these long-forgotten memories to the surface, and I have the opportunity to review such situations from an adult standpoint.

When I was growing up, my parents worked to keep the romance alive between the two of them. They made it a point to not let anyone or anything come between the two of them. It is fairly common for children to try to pit their parents against each other so they can get away with things. My brother an I were no exception to this. My parents however, would never fall for this ploy, but instead stood as a concrete unit against my shenanigans. They would have a weekly date night to keep the romance alive. Even when we had very little as a family, and could not afford the finer things in life, my parents budgeted to afford certain bare necessities. There was always a roof over my head, clothes on my back, nutritious food to eat, white-label beer for Mom and Dad to drink on occasion, and date night for Mom and Dad. Many times, my brother and I would stay with grandparents while my parents went out. Other times, they would hire a babysitter. Keep in mind that these are early childhood memories, and I can't remember a single name of a babysitter. Only situations.

Babysitters come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. The biggest problem with them - and with anyone for that matter - is that they are imperfect people. This is also the biggest source of entertainment concerning them. There was one babysitter that was as sweet as honey in front of my parents, but as the car would clear the driveway, she magically transformed into the Evil Bitch From Hell. I swear, you could see the black clouds form over her head, and the fire sparking in her eyes. My brother and I were good kids, but high-spirited, as boys should be. When it was just the three of us, she would scream the entire evening. "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" "GO TO BED NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!" in shrill screeching tones that would send cold shivers and goosebumps down the spine of harpies and banshees alike. She would scream about how she was going to tell our parents EXACTLY how BAD we were behaving. But, when Mom and Dad came home, she would coo to them about how well behaved we were, and how she always loved coming, and how she was looking forward to next time, in tones that would lull even the sirens to sleep.

Fast-forward twenty-five years. One morning several days ago, my son was in the bathroom, and I was in the adjoining bedroom. He was brushing his teeth, and I was loading my daily gear into my pockets. I heard a clatter that sounded remarkably like toothbrushes striking the tile behind the toilet - approximately where the plunger resides. I came around the corner to investigate to find him placing my toothbrush back on the medicine cabinet where I keep it. I asked him if he had knocked my toothbrush down on the floor, and he hesitantly admitted to it. I told him that it was not a really big deal, but anytime something like that happened, he needed to report it immediately, that accidents happen, and to please be more careful moving forward. Jenni pulled the heads off of all three toothbrushes and soaked them in rubbing alcohol until the next day. No biggie.

Then, I had the emergence of a very bizarre memory. One babysitter that my parents hired for a while was a very sweet girl. She was fun to be around, she played games with us, she was gentle, and generally seemed to enjoy the babysitting gig. She would come over, and we would play cards or a board game. Then, we would eat dinner, and all three wash dishes. Side note - kids need to learn to do dishes and find that it can be pleasant. After we did dishes, my brother and I would get changed for bed, and brush our teeth. This particular babysitter would come to the bathroom with us and brush her teeth too. Sometimes she would use Mom's toothbrush, and other times she would use Dad's. If she felt like she needed to get her teeth really clean, she would use both.

Did you catch that? At the time, it struck me as odd that she was using my parent's toothbrushes. I couldn't quite put my finger on why. At that age, we don't have enough personal boundaries for me to have been able to identify that it was a massive violation of privacy and personal space for her to be "borrowing" my parent's TOOTHBRUSHES, but at any rate, it didn't seem quite right to me. When I asked her if that was okay, she would sweetly explain that she had forgotten her toothbrush, and that she would clean them after we were in bed. That explanation seemed reasonable enough to me, and that memory was filed away in the dark corner of my brain along with all of the other insignificant childhood memories. --that is until my son knocked my toothbrush into the e coli zone where the toilet plunger lives.

I guess that just goes to show what a remarkable and strange piece of hardware the human brain is. Mom and Dad, if you read this I'm sorry. If it had struck me as significant at the time, I would have told you. I can't even tell you the girl's name. If her germs were going to kill you, I imagine they would have by now, if that makes you feel any better. I wonder what other weird memories I've got rattling around in here...

W - The President - Part II

2008-07-11T13:14:00.002-05:00

Read This.

No wonder the democrats don't like him. I'm still trying to figure out what the other quarter of the population don't like about him. Maybe it's only that people in general don't like politicians. I know I don't. He is polarizing, that's for sure...

W - The President

2008-07-10T11:22:00.002-05:00

To both of my readers,

Please share this with all of your friends that are living in the darkness of the typical, liberal mindset.

I cannot agree more with the sentiments of Sameh El-Shahat in the sentiment that George W. Bush is the most under-rated president ever.

Whatever happened to leadership and honesty as presidential traits? I happen to believe that the only leader in the West to have these two admirable qualities in droves is the leader of the free world: George W Bush.

Not to mention integrity, self-conviction, and broad shoulders against criticism. This dude is the political Energizer Bunny. It doesn't matter what awful things the proletariat says about him, he just keeps on doing what he feels like benefits his country the most. If I were him, I would have said "F%$# it!" by now, "You want to see bad legislation, I'll give you bad legislation!" Or at the very least, get defensive with the media. But no, he just keeps trucking along, quietly taking the abuse of the People he is trying to better. When I skip forward to the comments section, we get the classic popular arguments against GWB, and I see this kind of crap:

He did lie. He did invade a country and kill innoncent civilians for no reason. We are less safe than we were 8 years ago. We have also lost some of our constitutinal rights (which in my mind as a patriotic American, is the worst part of his administration).

I keep hearing this rhetoric over and over again, and it drives me nuts! It shows no critical, objective thought, and insults my intelligence.

1) How did he lie?
I (like many other active self-thinkers) believe that the invasion of Iraq was justified with the intelligence available at the time, and ultimately justified by the impending outcome. Saddam Hussein was the next Hitler or Mussolini. If we had not taken him out when we did, we would have a bigger problem on our hands. Taking him out, we had to set up a government for them or there would just be some other bastard to take his place. Period. The only mistake we make in Iraq was not finishing business the first time around in the Gulf War. The Surge is working, and we are winning this war!

2) Kill innocent civilians - WTF?
Can anyone chronicle this claim or back it up an any way shape or form? Civilians will catch some crossfire with a war in their home land. This war has been remarkably responsible towards protecting civilians considering WWI (~10-Million), WWII (~30-Million), Vietnam (who knows?), etc., etc., etc. Compare that to the Less than 100,000 in the current Iraq war. Keep in mind that this is the TOTAL DEATH COUNT on civilians, and not necessarily the deaths attributed to U. S. troops. So, I don't want to hear and more about that shit.

3) For no reason?
Really? Please see my answer to number one.

4) Which Constitutional rights?
Be more specific, please. Like the Constitutional rights to free speech, or bearing arms? Last I checked, it was the Left that was trying to suppress those rights with "political correctness" and "gun control".

It just makes me so mad I could spit! People, please. I'm pleading with all the libs and their "Bush is baaaaaaad" sheep routine. Please, people, use your minds. Be open minded and make your own decisions about things with objective data. Please don't make up your mind with what the T. V. or other liberals tell you. It's time to make your own decisions, and quit spouting the rhetoric.

Thanks for reading my $.02. Bring on the flames.

--Michael

D. C. vs. Heller

2008-06-26T13:30:00.004-05:00

My wife put it really well. I have nearly nothing to add to that. Needless to say, I'm pleased with the outcome of this case. I'm looking forward to seeing how the ripple effect pans out across state and federal laws.

Kalifornia

2008-06-20T14:19:00.002-05:00

I was inspired by my friend Instinct, who is jealous of my Second Amendment rights in the State of Oklahoma. So, in the style of my wife's mad photo-editing skills, this is a tribute to him:

the "Communist Party" image is actually a T-shirt design (unfortunately, I can't claim it as my own) that you can order here.

Then, there's this nifty website where you can draw anything your heart desires in the State of CA.

Oh, just so you know...

2008-06-20T08:58:00.002-05:00

I received this in the mail yesterday:

This is a document authorizing me to go and pick up my concealed handgun license at the county jail at my leisure. So, soon I will be toting this legally:

My license is my endorsement from The State declaring that I am as competent to carry a weapon of deadly force as even the boys in blue. It states that I am a fine, upstanding citizen, and that I am trustworthy enough to have deadly force at my discretion. I have taken my safety class, undergone background checks at the county, state, and federal levels (up to and including a full FBI background check), and proven proficiency with my handgun. That's right, boys and girls. I am practically a superhero. Maybe I should conceal my handgun behind a cape.

...or maybe not.

This Just in - Stingray Boots Cause Rain

2008-06-10T12:28:00.006-05:00

As Rachel Lucas is currently doing, I have gone round and round with atheists at one time or another. I largely refuse to get involved in these discussions anymore, because it's pointless and worthless. I would like to highlight one point that I've come to time and time again.

I have stated on multiple occasions that I don't believe in coincidence. This is a blanket statement. It's like "I've never met a man I didn't like" or "There are no atheists in foxholes." Sure, there are occasions in which things just happen at the same time, seemingly without correlation, but the vast majority of perceived correlations are correlations indeed. I believe in cause and effect, action and consequence. I believe in the Laws of Thermodynamics.

I observe the world around me and how it works. I observe sociology, climatology, chemistry, biology, and other otherwise formal studies. I like seeing how things work. I like how a horridly loud exhaust on a car will make some people smile and others get angry, whereas a quiet vehicle goes unnoticed by the masses. I enjoy learning about creatures and plants that I didn't previously know existed. I love that scientists decoded the Platypus' genome to determine whether it is truly more of a mammal, reptile, or bird; only to discover that it is kind of a bird-reptile-mammal. Frankly, I don't know whether that supports the belief in evolution, or in creation. I know for sure that the results of the genome project are humorous regardless of personal beliefs. I like to observe things that cannot be readily explained by any type of science that I understand. Not being a scientist of any kind, I do run across these things from time to time.

I have a pair of stingray hide cowboy boots that were made in Texas. They are wild-looking. The first time I saw stingrays in the western store, I couldn't imagine wearing a pair! I stumbled across a pair that were on clearance because the size was mis-marked, and I could not resist giving them a chance. I've found that I wear them a whole lot more often that I initially thought I would. They are sparkly and black, and look wonderful with a suit when I go to a Christmas party. They look equally good with a pair of jeans. It seems like there is a correlation between me wearing my stingray boots and rainy weather.

I don't literally believe that there is a correlation, as I believe that it is my perception that it rains when I wear these boots. I wore them yesterday, and there was flooding in much of the Okc metro area. This has become something of a little joke to me, but it doesn't rain every time I wear that pair of boots, nor do I wear the boots every time it rains. If it were otherwise, I might believe that there was something to it. If it rained every time I wore the boots, and it did not rain unless I wore them, I would have cause and need to formulate a hypothesis. The hypothesis might be that my boots cause it to rain, or it might be that the incoming rain causes me to wear the boots.

I know that people are sensitive to forces on a subconscious level that they don't necessarily perceive in their conscious minds. For instance, my subconscious mind may perceive a barometric pressure and humidity level that is indicitave of incoming rain. It may be that the first couple of times I wore the boots it was rainy weather. Therefore, my subconscious mind draws a correlation between the perception of incoming rain and the normality of wearing those particular boots in wet weather. Or, it could be that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

My point is that because a man's DNA is however many percent similar to that of an ape does in no way indicate that men were once apes. It does indicate that we came from the same source however. I don't see how it could be possible that we came from any source without an intelligent designer. Perhaps Carl Sagan is a lot smarter than me, or perhaps he's a self-loving, God-hating humanist that will grasp at straws to justify his sin, and lean upon his intelligence and persuasiveness as a crutch to comfort him in his spiritual rebellion. I don't know, and I'm certainly not here to judge.

But the evolutionist's point is that they are being called out by nay-sayers to explain things.

If the teaching of weaknesses is mandated, a textbook might be forced to say that evolution has an “inability to explain the Cambrian Explosion,” according to the group Texans for Better Science Education, which questions evolution.

I understand the question on the Cambrian Explosion, but I'm more concerned about evolution's inability to explain the origin of species, or even more importantly, the origin of life.

Look at my post on The Male "Species" if you need to better understand what makes a species. In order for a new species to occur according to Darwinian theory under sexual reproduction, at least two viable examples must exist, and be genetically diverse enough from their predecessors that they cannot produce fertile offspring with the same kind as their predecessors, and yet can produce fertile offspring with each other. This new type of creature must be able to multiply and survive. I don't buy it. With asexual reproduction, it's a different story as whatever offspring splits off could survive and split off with whatever mutation that made it what it is. But in the previous example, what are the sheer chances that this would happen enough times to create every species known to man?

I have seen it argued with parallel universes, that with infinite possible parallels, there arguably must be at least one in which anything and everything is possible, no matter what the odds, by the very definition of the odds. Ok. So, what is the evidence that there are parallel universes? Well, we are here, aren't we? By that rational, if it rained each and every time I wore my stingray boots without fail, and there was never even a drop of rain when I was not wearing them, it is still coincidence by the rational that we just happen to be in the right parallel universe where it has worked out that way.

Origin of life? It just happened. The artistic, precision engineering of a complex life form that the collective intelligence of man has not been able to match in the culmination of the history of man? It just happened. There were amino acids that turned into viruses that turned into the first cells. The cells turned into other stuff, then came sexual reproduction, fish, lizards, monkeys, and finally you and I.

Sorry, I don't buy it. I'll give the origin of life a head start. Let's take my stingray boots, composed of many complex proteins. Let's put my boots in the "ideal" conditions, separated from life, and see what happens. Let's take some bets on how long those amino acids in the hides, glues, and lemon pegs finally combine and come to life. The Second Law of Thermodynamics proves that order eventually settles to chaos. History will show us that the rapid extinction of species that are not being replaced by new species at a similar rate proves the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Do species eventually become better and stronger as their lines move forward and their genotypes are trimmed and edited by their phenotypes? No. They become inbred. Look at the California condor. Look at the panda. Look at man. Ouch, I went there!

But I digress. The reason Theological Creationists get bent out of shape on the whole evolutionary eduction argument is that it is not scientific. The theory of evolution is no more scientific than spontaneous generation or alchemy. Granted, when spontaneous generation, or abiogenesis was a commonly accepted fact (as evolution currently is), little was known about science by today's standards. And in their defense, those involved in alchemy included some brilliant minds such as a little-known man by the name of Benjamin Franklin or another obscure character known as Sir Isaac Newton.

I'm not at all saying that evolutionists are not intelligent. I am saying that they are zealots of their own religion, trying to force it on others. Here's what bothers me about that: If you think I'm dumb because I believe in God, the worst that can happen to me is that I'll be ignorant. The worst that can happen to you if I'm right is that you will go to hell. Yes, I'm going to share my views. Yes, I'm going to share my beliefs. I don't want anyone to suffer because of my lack of trying. Am I going to force it down your throat? No. All I ask is similar courtesy. Let's keep ALL religion out of the classroom - the theistic kind AND the atheistic.

Something That I Never Intended to Share

2008-06-04T11:50:00.003-05:00

In the last few weeks, the three of us in my happy little family have been running around like mad. We've been helping friends and family move, have flung ourselves into several home improvement projects, and have generally just been keeping busy. This has caused me some late nights and early mornings that I would normally prefer not to have. Being young, I can generally handle it. It has taken its toll to a small degree which I will detail below.

Last night we were out late, as we went to see Monty Python's Spamalot. It was stupid, silly, fun, and quite amazing. Afterwards, we had a late dinner of Taco Bueno and crashed. This morning, as we were about to leave for work, Mr. Poop impatiently got on the elevator. The elevator operator in my body does not like this recent schedule and has been quite cranky. This morning, he decided to take out some frustration on Mr. Poop and me. So, as I sat there on the toilet:

Elevator Operator: What floor?

Mr. Poop: Ground floor, please. I'm leaving today.

EO: Excellent! I hope you have enjoyed your stay here at Michael Suites.

MP: Well actually, I've stayed longer than I expected to. I think I've about worn out my welcome.

EO: Nonsense! You're always welcome. Floor 50, housewares.

MP: No, I get the distinct feeling that I'm not welcome. I'm glad the elevator is working today though.

EO: Floor 49, kitchen and dining. Watch your step!

MP: Seriously, dude. I'm not getting off here. I've got places to go.

EO: Sorry. Let's try that again. Floor 48, pets.

MP: (Getting impatient) Look guy, this is getting old!

EO: I'm so very sorry. Thank you for your patience. Floor 49, kitchen and dining.

*Door opens*

MP: (Seriously perturbed and raising voice) We were just on this floor! You just took us up! This is really not funny! Some of us are on a schedule here! Now please - pretty please with a cherry on top - let's go down quickly!

EO: (With a sly smile) Right away sir. (Opens a panel on the elevator wall and pulls a large lever inside) Going down!

*The elevator surges with creaking and groaning of ancient metal parts, and then plummets. Mr. Poop is nailed to the ceiling of the elevator car as it accelerates towards certain doom*

EO: Next stop, basement! *Maniacal laughter*

*The elevator snaps to an abrupt halt and the floor tears out of the elevator car as Mr. Poop is fired into the water below, screaming in terror*

And that's how it happened. I suppose I'm not as young as I used to be. I used to be able to pull as many all-nighters as I needed to with no harrowing events such as these. Maybe I should watch my sleeping and eating habits more carefully...

My Name Is Michael. I'm a Cullinary Lush.

2008-05-29T21:19:00.002-05:00

Admittance is the first step to recovery, right? What if I don't want to recover? What if I want to wallow around in it and let it progress to the point that I can never, ever, in a million years get better? It seems that I no longer have the ability to do your basic mac-n-cheese. When I cook, I get cooky. For instance, on New Year's Eve, I knocked myself out with this feast:

I don't appear to have any pics of the veggies, but they were there as well. Here you can see the grilled shrimp:

...the yellowfin, sashimi and seared:

...and my crowning achievement; the grilled calamari, drizzled with my home-made wasabi mayonaise:

Good lawdy, that was good! Of course, it was all served with plenty of rice, and sauteed snow peas and Thai eggplant. I typically hate eggplant. It's always that gorgeous shade of purple and smells wonderful, but I have an aversion to smooshy vegetables. The Thai variety is green and crunchy. It sautees very nicely and stays crisp like vegetables should. This is my style of cooking. My dishes like to make a splash. I don't feel I have made my point unless there is a room full of people silently eating, taking seconds, analyzing each bite, and cleaning out whatever it is that I've prepared. It's like painting or sculpting. There you have it.

This evening, I decided to grill hot dogs. Yes. Nice, simple hot dogs. Hmm. I started with whole wheat buns and 1/4-lb all-beef franks. Add a little Maille stone ground mustard...

Yes, folks. That is a slice of bacon on my hot dog. I'm hopeless. I may as well commit myself. At least I'll die fat and happy...

The Moral Line in the Sand

2008-05-29T11:51:00.003-05:00

I just read this. Go ahead and read it, as it is short and sweet. The thing that this issue says to me is that there are no boundaries. I could compare homosexuality and the toleration of it to pedophilia. What if someone made a stand for illustrated child pornography? It doesn't hurt anyone, does it? There were no victims if there were no models for the artwork. But, the argument against it is that it hurts society as a whole. It is a perversion, pure and simple, and is not socially-acceptable enough to deny as a perversion - unlike homosexuality, or promiscuity for that matter! I would like to see more people break it down like I have done above to really put the perspective on where we as a society have drawn the lines, versus where they should be. The inconsistencies will bely the social boundaries through such arguments. I have more thoughts on this that I will have to get into later.

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

2008-05-16T14:28:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, my wife brought this to my attention. I think it's interesting that I have been seeing the start of a grassroots movement toward old-fashioned, traditional values. I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy, and have been sickened by modern society for some time. I feel that the above link ties in nicely with my Truck Nuts Entry. For that matter, it ties in well with several of my entries. I'm getting so sick and tired of people with the victim complex, trying to assert their "rights." If people would stop and evaluate whether what they perceive as their rights infringe on anyone else's rights, many of the world's problems would simply vanish. If I feel like I have a right to a bigger, nicer car, but realize that you worked hard and paid for your car, and have a right to keep it, I'm not going to steal it from you. Similarly, if I feel that I have the right to do whatever I want to my body, but understand that the baby growing inside me has his or her own rights, I might think twice about killing him or her. Ouch. I went there. Fortunately, I don't stand much chance of ever personally being in that position, due to the fact that I'm a man. --not an altered woman on Oprah at that!

But, I'll now get back to my point. I hold doors for women. Heck, I hold doors for other men. My Bible says to love my neighbor as myself, but treat others as if they are better than me. This is not to say that everyone is to have an inferiority complex, quite the contrary. If I am nice to you, and feel that you have been such a great friend to me that I can never repay your kindness, and you feel the same towards me, nothing will come between us. Plus, my God has given me a responsibility to be His light in this world. I'm not always successful, but I do try.

I treat my wife with respect. I may give her a hard time every now and then, but it's always in good fun and full of love. I don't believe that I am better than her, but I do know that I am stronger, and that it is one of my life's duties to take care of her and keep her safe. It is also one of my life's duties to instill these values into my son, so he can grow up to be a man and not a criminal. He is well on his way to becoming a good man (Thank you, God!).

I'm risking some feminist flames here, but in our household when we make decisions, I get a slightly heavier vote than Jenni. This is not because I'm better, wiser, or more intelligent. This is because someone has to be assigned as the tie-breaker. To date, I have not "put my foot down" on any issue. On the rare occasion that there has ever been a disagreement between Jenni and me, we have talked our way through it and come up with a compromise. Indeed, the head-of-household vote is not something that I take lightly, but we have assigned it for the worst-case-scenario impasse where we must make a decision, and simply cannot agree on what that should be.

I don't know why society is the way it is now. People in general don't believe in personal responsibility, gender roles, or the rights of others; and yet they do believe everything that they see on T. V. It makes me sick. I believe though, that we are on the cusp of a revolution - for the better or for the worse. I would personally like to think that it will be for the better, that in the end people will come out thinking analytically and taking responsibility for their bad decisions without beating themselves up over it. Then, there will be men in our society again.

New Drink...

2008-05-06T21:12:00.003-05:00

Recipe:

2) Large martini glasses
1) Large rose in full blossom
1) cc-agave nectar (check Target or natural food stores)
High-quality whiskey, gin, or vodka

De-petal rose. Rinse petals and put two aside, the rest in a shaker. Measure into shaker one and a half martini glasses full of bourbon or other type of whiskey. Don't go with the extremely smoky, peaty, or woody stuff. Delicate flavors work best here. If it comes in a plastic bottle, don't do it. Fill shaker 1/2-full of ice cubes. Pour in no more than 1-cc of raw agave nectar. Raw honey would make the appropriate flavor, but does not dissolve as nicely in cold liquid. It should pull the bitter out of the taste, but should not make this a sweet drink. Cap shaker and shake. Once rose petals are well macerated, and the liquor is ice cold, pour into martini glasses. Garnish each glass with one of the remaining petals.

This is like drinking liquid Victoria's Secret. It is so worth the experience. If you don't have the guts to do it in public, do it in private and don't tell anybody. OMG!!! Good stuff!

The Male "Species"

2008-04-30T13:14:00.002-05:00

I get so tired of hearing or seeing people make reference to "the male species" like here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and well, you get the point. This is a fairly common (I do mean common - as in low-of-brow) malapropism. I don't know whether these people are using this term to be cute, as in my title on this entry, or if they are speaking straight out of ignorant dumbassity, but let's set this straight.

Let's look at Miriam Webster's definition of the word "species":

d (1): a category of biological classification ranking immediately below the genus or subgenus, comprising related organisms or populations potentially capable of interbreeding, and being designated by a binomial that consists of the name of a genus followed by a Latin or latinized uncapitalized noun or adjective agreeing grammatically with the genus name

What this means in shorthand is that a species is defined as a type of creature that can mate with another of its kind and have fertile offspring. Just to illustrate, a mule is not a species, since it is the offspring of a horse and a donkey. Thus, rather than a species, a mule is a hybrid. Don't start telling me about some dude that's pregnant in Hawaii. This is not a biological man. This is a transsexual. He/she/it was on Oprah, and you know what else is on Oprah? I won't go there. This individual has no pronoun that applies since this individual is a mutilated woman, and not a biological man.

And then, you have hermaphrodites. The banana slug, for example, is a hermaphrodite. (I know some of my links are in poor taste, I just can't help myself.) More to the point, each fully-formed banana slug produces eggs and sperm, and has a penis. When two banana slugs mate, they violently stab each other with their penises to the beat of Marvin Gaye (or Isaac Hayes if they are scientologists). The point is that they have no gender definition between them, as fully-formed humans do.

I have never heard of two biological males that can have any sort of offspring together, much less a fertile offspring. This means that males do not by definition specicate from females. The proper terminology is "male sex" or "male gender." Maybe some people get too hot whenever they use the term "sex" and aren't smart enough to know a big word like "gender." If that were true though, where did they learn the word "species"? Oh, wait! They didn't! That's why I'm writing this - for the education of it!

I think a lot of this stems from radical feminists. You know the types. I'm talking about the ones who call themselves "womyn". Just so you know, "womyn" is not a word, it's a joke. The book of Genesis defines the word "woman" as "out of man." Now that being said, a woman has a right to be a radical feminist. I have the right to think that they are stupid. I don't think women in general are stupid in the least, but radical feminists? You betcha. I will offer the latter a couple of alternative ideas to make the word "woman" just a little more palatable.

If we consider the "out of man" definition, you can take this one of two ways. If you believe in a theological, "then the LORD said..." creation, woman (Eve) was literally created from tissue taken out of man (Adam). This is not a popular view among atheists or some other types of people. You may chose to believe that "man" refers to "mankind" in which case, "out of man" is quite flattering. In this definition, women are set apart from mankind as something special. I choose to look at the word "woman" from both viewpoints, as I do believe in a theological creation, and yet I think that women are pretty freaking amazing creatures! I love them, think that all men should love them, and it's really sad the number of men that do not give them the respect that they deserve.

Let's not get into the whole chicken-and-egg discussion on this deal. As we all know, since men - who grow up from boys - are born of women, the argument could easily go that way. But as we have ultimately learned, it does in fact take two of a species to tango, and that's exactly what makes man (as in mankind) a species. I have a dream that all men (as in mankind) will one day speak and write like adults with a full command of their first language. In my dream, men (as in the species) will not have to make up childish names for themselves and each other or use words incorrectly, for they will have risen from the ignorance that currently enslaves them.

...just my $.02...

Say "yes" to "Truck Nuts"

2008-04-28T13:38:00.005-05:00

Apparently, the State of Florida is trying very hard to ban these delightful little toys. This is WRONG, and we all need to take a stand against it. Let's ban together to make sure that no government entity takes away the basic human right to affix plastic testicles to one's vehicle.

This is a very important coping mechanism for insecure men. Everyone knows that all people have insecurities to some degree, and many men are insecure about the size and functionality of their genitals. This is why so many men can be seen driving Hummers and Ford Excavations, despite sky-rocketing gas prices. Those that are particularly insecure about their bits and pieces have a basic emotional need for this ingenious device which shows that their masculinity resides in their big, powerful, throbbing, truck.

I am no stranger to this feeling myself. It embarrasses me to admit that I am really, really insecure about the size of my genitals. This is why I feel so compelled to wear shoes that make my feet look smaller, and feel compelled to carry the smallest possible devices I can get, like cell-phones, pens, flashlights, etc. It is for this very reason that I like to drive sub-compact cars. Currently, I am driving a Nissan Sentra. This car is a little on the large size for my tastes. When I was driving my early '80's Civic, I felt like it made my junk look so small, and made me feel like a more reasonable man. Driving this Sentra, I often feel the irrational fear that it makes my stuff look too big. Often, I find myself in my insecurities asking my wife, "Do these pants make my package look big?" or "You don't think of me as some kind of three-legged freak, do you?" She has always reassured me that it's not too big, and sometimes even tells me that it's as small as an average guy's stuff. Thank goodness for that woman! Without her, I would feel like some kind of freakish gorilla with a huge mass, weighing me down everywhere I go. Thanks to her encouragement, I no longer feel like everyone is staring at my crotch.

But, I digress. Our society has proved to us that any gains, even in civil rights, are a two-edged sword. When the pendulum swings, it's momentum will invariably take some unintended casualties. In the case of our current society, the victims have been men. Granted, some are far more insecure than others, but we are the beaten and bruised now. I don't hear Florida handing out coupons for these guys to go to a psychologist to sort out their feelings of inadequacy. No! They are simply fined for displaying the only coping mechanism that they know that they have at their disposal. If anyone told me that I had to get rid of my 3.5-inch Bullet Space Pen in lieu of a big, long, round roller ball, I would feel like crawling under a rock. Similarly, these gentlemen are being displaced by cruel, insensitive legislation. I can only imagine how their teeny-tiny, limp, flaccid, bruised and beaten egos must feel right now, having their only source of security taken away from them.

I know that there are others out there that feel the way I do. If you are a man who is insecure about his masculinity, one way or the other, or if you are a woman who is close to a man who has these feelings, I want to hear from you. Please comment on this blog entry. If you feel like you need to remain anonymous to protect your identity, nobody will judge you. I am here for you. There are millions of us that are here for you. Together, and only together, we can make a difference, and make sure that men can one day be secure with exactly what God gave us. Someday, we will stand up tall and proud and say, "This is my junk. It works well, and I'm proud of it." It will take all of us, and today is the day to make our stand.

Update - with guns!

2008-04-25T08:24:00.006-05:00

Hello again, both of my readers! As far as a horribly inappropriate comment is concerned, I'm not really pleased with the magnitude of it, but I'll share anyway. After church on Sundays, we have lunch at my parent's house. At the lunch table, I told the following joke:

Q: What comes in quarts?

A: An elephant.

There was much laughter all the way around the table. A joke like this would have gotten me slapped and grounded as a child. Unfortunately, this is the best I could muster for my little social experiment. I'll certainly keep my eyes out for another situation that I can say something horribly inappropriate for the setting.

And now, on to the main course! Behold this pic:

The gun on bottom is my engraved, Smith & Wesson Model 29. She's a .44 Magnum with a 6.5-inch barrel, sporting cocobolo, fingergrooved, tactical stocks made by Kim Ahrends, and modified by yours truly so as to not cover the beautiful engraving. I purchased this gun on January 1, 2008. So far I have put several hundred rounds through it. This Summer, I plan on sending it back to Smith & Wesson to have the action tuned, and generally have it hot-rodded. I'm thinking of replacing the red ramp sight with a bead sight. I haven't really decided that I want to do that yet, but I would like to improve upon the red ramp.

The gun on top is my new one. This is a Smith & Wesson Performance Center 586 L-Comp. This is a 7-shot .357 Magnum in matte blue steel with a ported 3-inch barrel. I have not shot this one yet. The action is super smooth, and wonderful. In this picture, it is wearing the Altamont, dymondwood, checkered, boot grip that came with it. It also came with a small, rubber, Hogue grip. I don't think I'm terribly fond of either grip. I may have to go back to Kim Ahrends for this one. Other goodies that were included with this one are a tritium front night sight, and three moon clips. I will be shooting this one this evening for the first time. A range report will follow.

When Jenni's granddad died last year, and her nana started giving away a bunch of his stuff, it brought the thought to mind about the inevitable circumstances under which our parents will be deceased and we are to divvy up their estates. I began to speak with my brother about such matters. As it turns out, we could agree on the future ownership of almost everything our parents have except for one thing. That was Grandpa's 6.5-inch S&W .44 Special. As we talked and thought about it, a solution came to mind. Why not just buy a similar gun so we could each have one? What I wound up purchasing was this brand new, engraved .44 Magnum instead of the 50-year-old .44 Special. Different? Yes. Do I love it? You bet!

This gun is BA, and also quite beautiful. If Beauty and The Beast had an offspring, this is it. 1,200-foot per second hollow-point rounds weighing in at 240-grains will shatter a melon in quick order. Full-power loads will sting the hand. If you aren't ready for the recoil, you will likely have a red-ramp shaped bleeding mark on your forehead. It is a brutal, killing machine. And does it look classy? Absolutely. Even anti-gun people have commented on how beautiful this one is.

I'm really excited about shooting the little one. You may think that I have a somewhat warped perception on what a "little" gun is, but the 586 looks and feels little to me. Granted, it's beefy. But it's a whole lot less cumbersome than the aforementioned hand-cannon. Here's the entire arsenal as it stands right now:

Now, here's a little flame-fuel for both of my readers. Jenni and I are some of those weird people that tend to name inanimate objects. We have named our cars, musical instruments, etc. Needless to say, we have named our revolvers. From left to right, these are Lust, Envy, Wrath, and Pride. I've already given you the skinny on Lust, my .44 Magnum, and I'm sure that you are tired of reading about her for now.

Envy would be Jenni's S&W Model 627-5, Performance Center 8-shot .357 Magnum in stainless steel. This gun shoots like a dream. It's so nice that it will nearly ruin you on shooting anything else. I think that everyone should have two of these. If we could get the liberals to go pro-gun, they could start a program to make sure that happened.

Wrath is my new 586 that I will try out for the first time tonight. This will be my carry gun once I get my CCW license. If it shoots as nicely as I believe it will, I may change my mind about the previous paragraph and edit it to: "I think that everyone should have one 627PC and one 586PC." We shall see. I'll let you know what happens.

Pride is our WWII-era S&W M&P in .38 Special. This gun is just fun to shoot. It cost less than half of either of the other three, and holds its own in the entertainment department. I'm expecting another set of grips to come in on Snail Mail probably today. This should make it an even more pleasurable experience.

Anyway, that's probably enough rambling for now. I hope you enjoy my rantings, and I will be looking forward to both of your comments! Until next time!

Phone Solicitation

2008-04-11T16:12:00.003-05:00

Where I work, we have been getting phone solicitations from AT&T a lot recently. I took one such phone call yesterday, and had to share the joy of it.

*phone rings*

ME: *Company Name*, this is Michael. How can I help you?

SOLICITOR: Hi, this is (insert name, I actually didn't catch it) with AT&T Network Solutions. I need to speak with Mr. Peller, or whoever is in charge of the phone services, please.

**She grotesquely mis-pronounced the boss' name, but it was close enough that I knew who she was talking about**

ME: Oh, my. You have called on the wrong day... You see, Mr. Peller is dead.

SOLICITOR: *Gasp!* Oh!

ME: Yeah. Yesterday, he got his by a truck. There wasn't much left.

SOLICITOR: I'm so sorry!

ME: Yeah. We're all looking for jobs now. Hey, are you guys hiring?

SOLICITOR: We are, actually.

ME: Great! Where can I turn in an application?

SOLICITOR: Well, we're in Ohio.

ME: Oh. Well, I'm in Oklahoma. That's not going to do me a whole lot of good.

SOLICITOR: I guess not. Well, my deepest condolences on your loss. I hope things get better.

ME: Thanks. Wish me luck.

SOLICITOR: Good luck on the job search.

ME: Thanks. Well, bye.

SOLICITOR: Goodbye.

I love screwing with those people!