Folks,
It looks like the wife and I are about to pick up our second Evyl Black Ryfle. H&H Gun Range hosts an annual gun expo, in which one could buy tickets to test drive a multitude of guns from over a dozen manufacturers. We attended the last one, and had great fun. We set a budget and bought a pre-determined amount of tickets. We split the tickets down the middle and acted like a couple of kids at the fair. Well, in all fairness, I acted like a kid at the fair. My darling wife acted like a man shopping for a car.
Where I ran around looking for the next amazing firearm to try out, my wife was objectively comparing variations of 1911s. When I was down to about three tickets, the S&W M&P15 caught my eye. It was so completely unlike anything I had ever considered shooting before. It was black, had a lot of plastic on it, and was supported by every mall-ninja I'd come across so far. A ticket was not much money, so I decided to give her a whirl. I. Loved. That. Gun. I produced a very tight group with the five shots that I was allowed, the action was smooth and lightning-fast, the trigger was the perfect balance between light and tight, and the user interface of the weapon was intuitive. I had to have one.
After the expo, I told Jen that I wanted one of these new-fangled 'assault weapons' that congress was trying to re-ban for no apparent reason except for appearance. I knew for a fact that she would also appreciate this gun, so I threw in as a boon and a bonus to my sales pitch that she would love it as well. So, several weeks later at the local military surplus, we stretched the family budget to purchase a brand-new Doublestar M4 carbine. This sucker is slicker than the S&W, and we were both in love. It completely clashed with our collection composed of double action revolvers, but that didn't matter. All of our family members were shocked that we would even want such an animal - until they shot it.
Fast forward five months. We have accumulated six Magpul PMags for it, many hundred rounds of ammunition, and I have fashioned a lizard-skin sling for it. No, we haven't done many upgrades to it, but I feel about upgrades to an EBR like I do about tuning jobs for a handgun - they are great, but put it off if there is a threat to further purchases in the balance. At this point, Jenni wants one of her own. She has kicked in the idea of taking the Doublestar as her own, and letting me buy my own replacement for it. I'm not sure what to think about that idea.
On the one hand, I would really really like a .357 Magnum lever-action. On that same hand, I would probably enjoy the lever more and get more use out of than the AR-15. On the other hand, I really love the AR-15, and I could get the lever later. There are a jillion of them out there, and they aren't specifically named in the new AWB. Granted, they do hold more than ten in the mag, but I still think they would be easier to get post-ban than an EBR - worst case scenario.
Anyhoo, our favorite firearm dealer just got a pallet of S&W's in. These are a combo of 'optics ready' flat-tops with no sights, or flat-tops with an a-frame front and a flip-down rear. We would naturally lean toward the sightless model to add our own sights after purchase. This gun is under the $1,100-mark. Half a year ago, I would have balked at such a price. At this point in time, it sounds like a bargain! Honestly, I don't see us not doing this. Much like my shotgun post, you can expect an EBR post that will feature both Evyl Black Ryfles after we make our purchase.
This will have to wait until I'm cleared from jury duty. I have to show up tomorrow morning for screening, or interviewing, or whatever the F they call it. I hope that it doesn't take any more than the week, and I hope that my wonderful, dear employer chooses to pay me in the interim. I don't believe that they are required to do so, and they haven't said whether or not they will. We shall see. That will determine the time frame on the purchase. If it were not for the impending jury duty, we would have bought the new rifle on Friday. As it is, we will have to see what happens before we make a move.
I still want a .357 lever-action carbine, but it will have to wait for just a little while longer. What does it say about me, anyhow, that I would rather have at my personal disposal wood-gripped double-action revolvers, a pump-action shotgun, and a lever-action carbine than a semi-automatic pistol, a semi-automatic tactical shotgun, and a black rifle? Heck, I'm getting to the point that I'd rather have a proven, 12-gauge pump and plenty of buckshot over a submachine gun, even if it weren't near impossible to get such an animal! Frankly, I can put more lead on target with my 12 than the average bear can with the sub in a given amount of time!
On that note, I will wrap it up. It's about time for me to turn off Pandora, finish my whiskey, blow kisses to both of you, and head to bed. I've got to fulfill my civil duty to Oklahoma County in the morning (wish me luck in all ways) and it's not getting any earlier.
Update
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Natural Born Citizen?
My wife sent me this link today. Honestly, I thought this silliness had stopped after our president was sworn in. For those of you that aren't familiar, and don't feel like reading the linked article, this is an ongoing whine-fest from the right-wingers that claim that the Hawaiian birth certificate proving our president was born there is a fake. They refuse to accept the reality that they lost the election fair and square, and they are grasping at straws at this point.
The fact of the matter is that lots of people were born in Hawaii in 1961. As a matter of fact, most people don't know that I was actually born at the same hospital at the same time, while my parents, Bob and Luan were on vacation in 1961. See, here's my Hawaiian birth certificate to prove it:
Hopefully, the conservatives will quit their whining and accept the loss!
The fact of the matter is that lots of people were born in Hawaii in 1961. As a matter of fact, most people don't know that I was actually born at the same hospital at the same time, while my parents, Bob and Luan were on vacation in 1961. See, here's my Hawaiian birth certificate to prove it:
Hopefully, the conservatives will quit their whining and accept the loss!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My 100th Post
That's right, folks. Both of you are reading number one hundred. On September 28, 2007, ninety-nine posts ago, it was my great pleasure to write my debut post, thoughts on pretty much nothing but the blog itself. Approximately a year and a half later, in this post, I aspire to much the same as I did then. I would like to thank both of you for your continued support (I would say 'making it a success', but let's be realistic here). I hope it doesn't take me another year and a half to hit the two hundred-mark. Heck, I don't see how it possibly could! For you who actually enjoy my writing (And you know who you are. Yes, you. You are the only one.), rest assured that as long as I'm still getting pissed off at stuff, or happy about things, it is my intent to continue this blog. And, believe you me - I do get pissed, and I sure as heck get happy! Of course, that last sentence was for the benefit of any first-time readers. Anybody who has read at least three of my blog entries can plainly see that I do get pissed and happy... and excited, and proud, and preachy, and know-it-allish - but that's okay. It's all part of my charm! I may switch domains, or formats, but I have no plan to shut it down at this time. Who knows? Maybe you, my readers, could help me eventually get to the Bloggies! I'm sure they could use someone to serve drinks, or something. Well, I need to get back to work. My boss is going to wonder why I'm taking such a long lunch break.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Brady's Twisted View of OK
Link
Below, I have copied the text on their breakdown from the above page, following each section with my rebuttal.
The very term "assault weapon" is deliberately misleading. The fact of the matter is that the reason that military-style semi-autos are as easy to get as hunting rifles or target rifles is simply that they are hunting and plinking rifles! I wouldn't use my AR-15 on another human being if my .357 Mag or my 12-gauge were within reach! The reason you would need 30-round magazines for these things is that it takes that much .223 to put a person down (or a deer, or a pig, or any number of other, non-human, tasty animals). I like my AR-15 because it's FUN TO SHOOT! It's fun to shoot it at paper, at cans, fruit, vegetables, and any number of other targets! Why would you vilify such a thing?
So, if my state did require ballistic fingerprinting (usually done on the brass), and the bad-guy went on a murderous spree with a stolen gun (which statistically they do), then it would help the police trace the gun to the rightful owner of the gun, who had it stolen from them. Many guns to not automatically eject their brass. Why would the bad guy empty the spent brass from his revolver at the murder scene prior to splitting? 'Oh boy! I love the part where we plant extra, convenient evidence! Hyuck, huck!' No.
Ballistic fingerprinting is one of those things that sounds like a great idea on the first thought. It doesn't take much creativity to tear apart its usefulness.
I've got a couple of points to make here. Firstly, kids are smart, and they get into stuff. No amount of locking up, hiding, dismantling, burying, and/or use of secret passages and bank-vault quality locks is going to keep them out of stuff that they are curious about. You know what will? Education. Parenting. Our son knows exactly where the guns are. He knows exactly where the ammunition is. He also knows exactly what the combination of those will do, because he has seen .223, 9mm, .38 Special, .357 Magnum, .44 Special, .44 Magnum, .45 ACP, 20-Gauge, and 12-Gauge rip through hard squash like an egg without a shell. He has shot most of those (with help from Dad, of course) and he has some understanding of the power. He doesn't really want any of that. Beyond that, we know exactly where he is at all times. He doesn't feel like we are looming over him, ready to slap his hand or anything like that, but there is some accountability there.
Secondly, I'd like the Brady's to tell that to the D. A. I'm pretty sure that if this went to court, they could easily get the parents/grandparents - whoever - on negligence. It's a common-sense issue. There doesn't need to be a specific law about it. A jury of twelve Okies would find them guilty of negligence if the evidence was there. We're a pretty smart community, and we don't need nanny laws, thank you very much!
I call B. S. on this one. I have never bought a new handgun, and not gotten a lock with it. When I've asked about it, the seller has told me that they are required, under state law, to provide one with the purchase. Do your research, Brady's. Now, this may not apply to long-guns, but with your average goose-gun weighing in at seven or eight pounds, in excess of four feet long, explain to me how a young child is going to pick it up and operate it, much less shoot themselves!
And the reason here, folks, is because this is pure, unadulterated, science fiction. The Brady's are watching way too many movies. There are no such guns that recognize their rightful owner and will not operate in the hands of someone 'not authorized'. To use this as criteria for a frowny list like this is absurd. It would be like me saying that your car isn't safe because it isn't equipped with a force-field generator, or an anti-grav cabin. Besides that, if there were such guns, I wouldn't want them anyway. That would be a pain in the ass when I took friends to the range and wanted them to try out my Zaygon STX Firedragon rifle chambered in .657 Doom! (Hey, if we're being dramatic about this, I may as well run with it, right?)
Damned straight! Should one be required to buy a license from a slow-moving government in order to get personal/home protection? Not just no, but HELL NO! Do some guns slip through the cracks? Undoubtedly. Would exterminating the existence of such devices squelch crime to some degree? It's possible, but I doubt it. If it weren't for guns, these people would be going after our swords and spears, if those didn't exist, they would be trying to take our clubs and rocks. The bottom line is that these people want to DISARM us. They want the GOOD people to be defenseless. Licensure for gun purchasing disarms the victims. Period. If nobody could legally get guns, could the criminals still get them? No question.
The bottom line to my ranting here is this: Which is better, that nobody be armed, or that everybody be armed? I would say everyone, but I can see how some would say that it's a toss. If you make it illegal to get guns, will the good guys have guns? Will the bad guys? So, if letting the law-abiding, generally good citizens arm themselves means that some criminals, with bad intent will also arm themselves, I say so be it. At least we have means to defend ourselves against them. They are going to get them anyway. Why is it that the anti-gunners are also the people who use this same argument about passing out condoms in schools? That's pretty screwed up right there.
In our sue-happy society, we can sue McDonald's if the coffee is too hot. We can sue an airline if we survived the crash with a bloody nose. When are we going to stand up for responsibility where it belongs? The mentality of the above point is what has led Ruger to put ugly warnings all over their guns, and led Smith & Wesson to put the so-called 'Hillary hole' on theirs. This has got to stop somewhere! Look, the bad guys are bad. The good guys are good. The good guys sometimes do bad things and should be reprimanded for it. The bad guys sometimes come around, and we should show them a little mercy and grace. That's really not so complicated. If you come to my house, and you go to ring the doorbell, but it shocks you and you are emotionally damaged because of it, tough! If you are walking down the sidewalk in front of my house, and the emergency brake fails at that very moment, and the car rolls over you and you die, I'm very sorry. That's quite unfortunate, and I'll probably have some kind words for your family. If you were at my house and some crazed maniac attacked us all with a chainsaw and diced us up, would somebody sue Briggs & Stratton? I sure as hell hope not! Cook the bad guy, for Pete's sake, but the maker of the equipment cannot be held liable for how it is used! Period! Granted, if someone made a product that was truly defective, then they ought to be held accountable. But, RG is out of business, and there are no more Saturday Night Specials that are being sold today. Any gun available on the market is probably safe enough for its purpose. My personal preferences may run a scosche higher than some, but that's not saying that the lesser guns on the modern market are not worthy of shooting.
This point is so very misleading, since it's actually more than one point, some true and good, and others complete lies. The original question is a direct mis-truth. Background checks are required at gun shows, and the 'gun show loophole' is nothing more than a myth that suits the agenda.
They cite a 'Brady criminal background check'. What is required and practiced is an Insta-Check criminal background check. If someone is caught dealing guns without an FFL or running background checks, it is a felony. Sarah Brady, have you ever been pounded by Bubba? F E L O N Y. To cite their background check is like me saying that your driver's license isn't really valid since you didn't get an Evyl Robot Michael Driver's License. Who gives a crap, right? How can I proclaim myself the highest authority in the land, and how can the Brady's, for that matter?
Then, they talk about 'no records kept' on gun sales. That sounds like registration - which sounds like a good thing, but I'll get to that soon...
False. Employers are required only to let employees leave their guns in their car in the parking lot. They are not, by any stretch of definition, required to let unwanted arms into the workplace. Say I have to drive through the ghetto, and there's a high likelihood that I could get car-jacked at a red light on my way to work. So, I arm myself, and if someone shatters the window and puts a gun to my head, I grab the attacker's gun with my left hand, pull my own gun with my right hand, and introduce the bastard to his maker. If my boss can tell me that I can't have a gun at work at all, what am I supposed to do? I can't take it into work with me. I can't leave it in the car. What am I supposed to do? What The Brady Bunch is arguing is that I should not have any rights as an individual, and that the company that I work for should completely dictate my safety, at and away from the workplace. That sucks.
They got this one right. One of the biggest problems with gun laws in the Great State of Oklahoma is the fact that there are not laws protecting the rights of law-abiding citizens to have guns on school campus. This is a flaw in the system, as it makes us vulnerable to Virginia Tech-style attacks. If I was in a classroom environment, and someone burst in and started shooting, I would shoot him. I didn't say that I would try to shoot him, I said that I would shoot him. If I was forced to be defenseless, I would not have the option. I would probably have to pretend to be dead and hope for the best. I would never forgive myself either. I hope we can get rid of the School Massacre Bait Laws, to give our talented, ambitious youth a chance to live. I don't think I should have to disarm to walk into the elementary school to get my son in the afternoon. I don't think that a college student should be forced to be defenseless. I believe that every teacher and professor should be well-armed and trained even better. If I owned my own private school, it would be a requirement.
To the Brady's: Prove it. Show me a situation where Junior bought a gun from the creepy old man down the street. Provide a reference that has ever happened in the State of Oklahoma, in which this has occurred and not resulted in Dad kicking creepy old man's creepy old butt. Because, I'm telling you now that some things don't need to be legislated, and this is one of them. Should we pass a law that makes it illegal for you to feed your kids only candy? No, because it's a self-correcting problem. Should we pass a law that says that you have to inflate an inter tube to play with it at the lake? No, because it's common sense. The point is moot. There are no laws saying that you can't serve raw, rotten meat to guests, even though it could result in someone being harmed. If I tried that, the injury would be mine, as one of my guests would surely be insulted.
So? I'm serious. What's the point? '...can fire 30, 50 or even 75 rounds of ammunition without reloading.' Say it ain't so! Oh, my gosh! To fire so many rounds without so much as reloading is... ...well... ...it's... ...what is it? Honestly, I'm not sure what they're getting at here. We could all switch to single-shots, but that would be a pain in the butt. It's fun and convenient to shoot 30, 50, or even 75 rounds without reloading. For that matter, I wouldn't mind getting one of those 100-round drums for my AR-15. If they weren't so expensive, I would so get one of those for plinking. I don't necessarily want to shoot 100-rounds all at once, but to not have to worry about loading another mag, or even changing it for a range session, would be great. For defensive purposes, I'm thinking that five shots at a time is about minimum between reloads, and thirty is about the maximum that I would want to manage in one string. This again comes down to, why is a hi-cap mag a bad thing? Because you say so? What makes you the authority?
I think it's funny on this list how they keep recycling their points. Refer to the 'Gun Dealer Regulations' section above, because this is just a restatement of that to try to add a little glimpse-meat to their point here, since they lack any real argument for their agenda. Purchasing licensure is a pro-rape mantra to make sure that the victims stay victims and the criminals stay more powerful than them.
First, I will refer back to my point that some guns will slip through the cracks and wind up in the wrong hands - you can't regulate that out of reality. My second point will be, why should I be limited on the hardware that I'm allowed to buy? I don't believe that it is any business of the government's what I buy, or how much of it I buy. I don't think that felons should be allowed to legally arm themselves, but that is about where I believe 'common sense' gun legislation ends.
Mostly true, and proud of it. The age limit is actually 21, not 23. Explain how this could possibly be a bad thing. We don't work for them, and they aren't there to babysit us. They work for us. The police are there to serve and protect. Have you ever heard the phrase used? Did you ever wonder what it means, Sarah Brady? With rare exception, if you can legally buy a handgun, you shall get the license to carry it, loaded and concealed, if you will only jump through the hoops - guaranteed. The only reason that you could not legally buy a handgun is if you are a criminal. Therefore, if you aren't a criminal, and you have jumped through the hoops, you get the license.
This point is kind of a permutation of the 'BALLISTIC FINGERPRINTING' and 'CHILDPROOF HANDGUNS'. Like I said, they tend to recycle some points in this thing, true or false, to support their otherwise unfounded argument. This proposition would easily triple the price of firearms. A law like this would not be about helping to solve crimes. Rather, it would serve to make sure that low-income households could not afford defense. The idea of putting an extra zero at the end of the price tag of every firearm is not about crime prevention so much as it is about racism and bigotry. It is specifically targeted at low-income families to prevent them from protecting themselves, to assure that they can become victims of criminal violence. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Those Brady's are a bunch of stand up people, aren't they?
The gun laws in Illinois are not so obstructive to free citizens, but the City of Chicago has hideous, draconian gun laws that in turn produce one of the higher concentrations of crime on the continent. Tell me I'm wrong. That is what the Brady campaign is proposing here. I know that my hometown will put a citation for a code violation on my front door when I've pulled a wheel off the car in the driveway to take it to the tire shop to have the tire changed. I don't really want them in the business of my gun ownership status. No.
This, friends, is yet another recycled point, wrapped in a mis-truth. As I previously stated, there is no gun registry in The State of Oklahoma. Does that mean that gun purchases are completely hidden from law enforcement? No. Investigators may look into the records that FFL holders are required to keep, for the purpose of an investigation, with a court-issued warrant. I think that's fair enough. Gun registry sounds like a good thing at first. I'm sure it sounded like a good thing to the Jews when the Nazis put it into effect in Germany too. I'm really not going to go any further with this point. If you need further clarification as to why gun registry is a bad thing, please request it in my comment section. If you wish to remain anonymous, please say so in your comment, and I will not release your comment from moderation.
You would think that they would at least put a contrasting point between copied points. But, this one proves that common sense is not working with the Brady's. Alright, I'll take a stab at their recycled point. "Oooooh, it makes it harder for laaaaaw enforcement, since they have to figure out stuff." I'm sorry, but the cops shouldn't know everything about me. Earlier, I made the point that they work for us, we do not work for them. I would not let my employees watch me make love to my wife, and similarly it is not the PD's business how many and/or what type of weapons I have at my disposal until I do something stupid with them.
I wanted to say that this is not correct, but I honestly can't back that up. I was under the impression that we must report lost or stolen guns within 72-hours, but I can't find a reference on that. If I find anything else, I will post it as an update.
The State Attorney General is not necessarily qualified to establish handgun safety standards. Beyond that, none of the information in this point is anything that I have not previously addressed in this post already. The Brady Campaign could cut out their repeats and condense this sucker by half at least!
The mention of snub-nosed handguns is a red herring here. I'm sorry, but it's hard not to love a snubby once you get to know them. Prior to that, I've already made my point that 'junk' handgun laws are racist and elitist. They are intended to keep low-income households at the bottom of the totem pole. Period.
When a young lady is forced to the ground in a dark alley by a man with a knife, wearing a mask and no pants, and he pulls up her skirt; when she shoots him dead with her concealed handgun, how is that 'bypassing our entire justice system'? Why is is necessary for her to go ahead and take the rape, and possibly the subsequent murder, so that the perp can hopefully be arrested by an officer, prosecuted, tried before a judge and jury (oddly omitted by the Brady's), to then be led to the executioner? You know, I don't see any problem with her taking care of the situation right then and there. I have no objection to someone taking on their own destiny, and doing serious bodily harm to someone who is maliciously attempting serious bodily harm to them. Is that wrong of me?
They very conveniently threw in the word 'all'. The spirit of the law is this: That you may not transfer ownership of a firearm to someone that you do not know has a clean background. Does Grandpa have to run a background check on me to legally give me his mom's shotgun? No, and that is going to have to be another post, I didn't really pull the example out of thin air. Now, the guys at the gun range know me, but do they know me? They have to run the background check every time. It doesn't matter that they know who we are, that they have met our families and friends, that they know full well that we have valid CCW permits and that they have cleared background checks on us for prior purchases. They MUST run that background check again. Period. So, if I'm going to sell you a gun, personally, face-to-face, it would do me well to make darn tooting sure that you are eligible to own a firearm, or I could be convicted of a straw purchase. Go ahead and hit the link - It refutes a bunch of the Brady points, and shows exactly how petty these people are.
Once again, I'm going to call B. S. and ask for evidence on this one. All the waiting period does is make people anxious to get the new gun that they are so excited about. Then, they get frustrated and want to shoot a Brady - or so I've heard. We don't have a waiting period here, so I wouldn't know about that. (I'm so sorry, Instinct. My heart goes out to you. At least they can't keep you separated from your new shotgun forever.)
Italicized commentary edited in by yours truly, as if you couldn't tell.
What a bunch of crap heads! I'm out.
Below, I have copied the text on their breakdown from the above page, following each section with my rebuttal.
ASSAULT WEAPONS
Are there limitations on assault weapons? No
Oklahoma - No state restriction on the sale or possession of military-style semiautomatic assault weapons. Assault weapons are as easy to buy as hunting rifles. Congress and President Bush allowed the federal assault weapons ban to sunset in 2004. See also: Large Capacity Ammunition Magazines
The very term "assault weapon" is deliberately misleading. The fact of the matter is that the reason that military-style semi-autos are as easy to get as hunting rifles or target rifles is simply that they are hunting and plinking rifles! I wouldn't use my AR-15 on another human being if my .357 Mag or my 12-gauge were within reach! The reason you would need 30-round magazines for these things is that it takes that much .223 to put a person down (or a deer, or a pig, or any number of other, non-human, tasty animals). I like my AR-15 because it's FUN TO SHOOT! It's fun to shoot it at paper, at cans, fruit, vegetables, and any number of other targets! Why would you vilify such a thing?
BALLISTIC FINGERPRINTING
Must handguns be ballistic fingerprinted prior to sale? No
No state requirement that gun dealers or manufacturers provide police with sample bullets/cartridges or digital images of bullets/cartridges prior to the sale of a handgun, �ballistic fingerprinting,� which would assist police in tracing bullets at crime scenes to the guns that fired them.
So, if my state did require ballistic fingerprinting (usually done on the brass), and the bad-guy went on a murderous spree with a stolen gun (which statistically they do), then it would help the police trace the gun to the rightful owner of the gun, who had it stolen from them. Many guns to not automatically eject their brass. Why would the bad guy empty the spent brass from his revolver at the murder scene prior to splitting? 'Oh boy! I love the part where we plant extra, convenient evidence! Hyuck, huck!' No.
Ballistic fingerprinting is one of those things that sounds like a great idea on the first thought. It doesn't take much creativity to tear apart its usefulness.
CHILD ACCESS PREVENTION - CAP
Are gun owners held accountable for leaving guns accessible to kids? No
No state requirement that gun owners take responsible steps to prevent children from gaining easy access to their firearms. Gun owners are not held accountable for leaving loaded guns around kids, even if a young child shoots themselves or someone else with a gun left in plain sight.
I've got a couple of points to make here. Firstly, kids are smart, and they get into stuff. No amount of locking up, hiding, dismantling, burying, and/or use of secret passages and bank-vault quality locks is going to keep them out of stuff that they are curious about. You know what will? Education. Parenting. Our son knows exactly where the guns are. He knows exactly where the ammunition is. He also knows exactly what the combination of those will do, because he has seen .223, 9mm, .38 Special, .357 Magnum, .44 Special, .44 Magnum, .45 ACP, 20-Gauge, and 12-Gauge rip through hard squash like an egg without a shell. He has shot most of those (with help from Dad, of course) and he has some understanding of the power. He doesn't really want any of that. Beyond that, we know exactly where he is at all times. He doesn't feel like we are looming over him, ready to slap his hand or anything like that, but there is some accountability there.
Secondly, I'd like the Brady's to tell that to the D. A. I'm pretty sure that if this went to court, they could easily get the parents/grandparents - whoever - on negligence. It's a common-sense issue. There doesn't need to be a specific law about it. A jury of twelve Okies would find them guilty of negligence if the evidence was there. We're a pretty smart community, and we don't need nanny laws, thank you very much!
CHILD-SAFETY LOCKS
Must locking devices be sold with guns? No
No state requirement that guns be sold with child-safety locks that could prevent a tragic accident. Child-safety locks cost as little as $10 and could save lives if sold with firearms.
I call B. S. on this one. I have never bought a new handgun, and not gotten a lock with it. When I've asked about it, the seller has told me that they are required, under state law, to provide one with the purchase. Do your research, Brady's. Now, this may not apply to long-guns, but with your average goose-gun weighing in at seven or eight pounds, in excess of four feet long, explain to me how a young child is going to pick it up and operate it, much less shoot themselves!
CHILDPROOF HANDGUNS
Are only authorized users able to operate handguns? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law mandating that all new handguns be sold with 'personalized' handgun technology that would only allow the authorized user to operate the firearm. Childproof handguns play an important role in helping to prevent unintentional shootings among children and to deter suicides among minors.
And the reason here, folks, is because this is pure, unadulterated, science fiction. The Brady's are watching way too many movies. There are no such guns that recognize their rightful owner and will not operate in the hands of someone 'not authorized'. To use this as criteria for a frowny list like this is absurd. It would be like me saying that your car isn't safe because it isn't equipped with a force-field generator, or an anti-grav cabin. Besides that, if there were such guns, I wouldn't want them anyway. That would be a pain in the ass when I took friends to the range and wanted them to try out my Zaygon STX Firedragon rifle chambered in .657 Doom! (Hey, if we're being dramatic about this, I may as well run with it, right?)
GUN DEALER REGULATIONS
Must gun dealers adhere to state licensing and/or oversight systems? No
Oklahoma - No state licensing and/or oversight systems are required. Having no licensing and/or oversight system at the state level makes cracking down on rogue gun dealers extremely difficult. Requiring that gun dealers adhere to specific measures and holding them accountable for their actions and inventory will reduce illegal gun trafficking and help prevent criminals and other dangerous people from easily obtaining guns.
Damned straight! Should one be required to buy a license from a slow-moving government in order to get personal/home protection? Not just no, but HELL NO! Do some guns slip through the cracks? Undoubtedly. Would exterminating the existence of such devices squelch crime to some degree? It's possible, but I doubt it. If it weren't for guns, these people would be going after our swords and spears, if those didn't exist, they would be trying to take our clubs and rocks. The bottom line is that these people want to DISARM us. They want the GOOD people to be defenseless. Licensure for gun purchasing disarms the victims. Period. If nobody could legally get guns, could the criminals still get them? No question.
The bottom line to my ranting here is this: Which is better, that nobody be armed, or that everybody be armed? I would say everyone, but I can see how some would say that it's a toss. If you make it illegal to get guns, will the good guys have guns? Will the bad guys? So, if letting the law-abiding, generally good citizens arm themselves means that some criminals, with bad intent will also arm themselves, I say so be it. At least we have means to defend ourselves against them. They are going to get them anyway. Why is it that the anti-gunners are also the people who use this same argument about passing out condoms in schools? That's pretty screwed up right there.
GUN MANUFACTURER ACCOUNTABILITY
Do cities have authority to hold gun makers legally liable? No
State law forbids city and county governments from taking any legal action to hold gun manufacturers accountable, even when they act irresponsibly in the way they design, market or distribute weapons. No other industry enjoys such special immunity for irresponsible conduct.
In our sue-happy society, we can sue McDonald's if the coffee is too hot. We can sue an airline if we survived the crash with a bloody nose. When are we going to stand up for responsibility where it belongs? The mentality of the above point is what has led Ruger to put ugly warnings all over their guns, and led Smith & Wesson to put the so-called 'Hillary hole' on theirs. This has got to stop somewhere! Look, the bad guys are bad. The good guys are good. The good guys sometimes do bad things and should be reprimanded for it. The bad guys sometimes come around, and we should show them a little mercy and grace. That's really not so complicated. If you come to my house, and you go to ring the doorbell, but it shocks you and you are emotionally damaged because of it, tough! If you are walking down the sidewalk in front of my house, and the emergency brake fails at that very moment, and the car rolls over you and you die, I'm very sorry. That's quite unfortunate, and I'll probably have some kind words for your family. If you were at my house and some crazed maniac attacked us all with a chainsaw and diced us up, would somebody sue Briggs & Stratton? I sure as hell hope not! Cook the bad guy, for Pete's sake, but the maker of the equipment cannot be held liable for how it is used! Period! Granted, if someone made a product that was truly defective, then they ought to be held accountable. But, RG is out of business, and there are no more Saturday Night Specials that are being sold today. Any gun available on the market is probably safe enough for its purpose. My personal preferences may run a scosche higher than some, but that's not saying that the lesser guns on the modern market are not worthy of shooting.
GUN SHOW LOOPHOLE
Are background checks required at gun shows? No
No state requirement that a Brady criminal background check be done on people buying guns at gun shows if they are sold by "private" individuals or gun "collectors." Gun shows can operate on a "no questions asked, cash-and-carry" basis, making it easy for criminals and even juveniles to buy as many guns as they want at gun shows, including assault weapons. No records are required to be kept on gun show sales by private individuals or gun collectors, making it almost impossible for police to trace such weapons if they are used in a crime.
This point is so very misleading, since it's actually more than one point, some true and good, and others complete lies. The original question is a direct mis-truth. Background checks are required at gun shows, and the 'gun show loophole' is nothing more than a myth that suits the agenda.
They cite a 'Brady criminal background check'. What is required and practiced is an Insta-Check criminal background check. If someone is caught dealing guns without an FFL or running background checks, it is a felony. Sarah Brady, have you ever been pounded by Bubba? F E L O N Y. To cite their background check is like me saying that your driver's license isn't really valid since you didn't get an Evyl Robot Michael Driver's License. Who gives a crap, right? How can I proclaim myself the highest authority in the land, and how can the Brady's, for that matter?
Then, they talk about 'no records kept' on gun sales. That sounds like registration - which sounds like a good thing, but I'll get to that soon...
GUNS AT WORK
Are businesses forced to allow guns in the workplace? Yes
Oklahoma - State law forces employers and businesses to allow guns on their privately held property. This dangerous law seeks to turn companies into criminals if they ban guns on their private property.
False. Employers are required only to let employees leave their guns in their car in the parking lot. They are not, by any stretch of definition, required to let unwanted arms into the workplace. Say I have to drive through the ghetto, and there's a high likelihood that I could get car-jacked at a red light on my way to work. So, I arm myself, and if someone shatters the window and puts a gun to my head, I grab the attacker's gun with my left hand, pull my own gun with my right hand, and introduce the bastard to his maker. If my boss can tell me that I can't have a gun at work at all, what am I supposed to do? I can't take it into work with me. I can't leave it in the car. What am I supposed to do? What The Brady Bunch is arguing is that I should not have any rights as an individual, and that the company that I work for should completely dictate my safety, at and away from the workplace. That sucks.
GUNS ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES
Are colleges/universities forced to allow guns on campus? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law forcing colleges/universities to allow guns on campus.
They got this one right. One of the biggest problems with gun laws in the Great State of Oklahoma is the fact that there are not laws protecting the rights of law-abiding citizens to have guns on school campus. This is a flaw in the system, as it makes us vulnerable to Virginia Tech-style attacks. If I was in a classroom environment, and someone burst in and started shooting, I would shoot him. I didn't say that I would try to shoot him, I said that I would shoot him. If I was forced to be defenseless, I would not have the option. I would probably have to pretend to be dead and hope for the best. I would never forgive myself either. I hope we can get rid of the School Massacre Bait Laws, to give our talented, ambitious youth a chance to live. I don't think I should have to disarm to walk into the elementary school to get my son in the afternoon. I don't think that a college student should be forced to be defenseless. I believe that every teacher and professor should be well-armed and trained even better. If I owned my own private school, it would be a requirement.
JUVENILE SALE
Is it illegal to sell handguns to anyone under 21 years of age? No
State law does not restrict selling handguns to juveniles under the age of 21 by unlicensed sellers. Under federal law, only federally licensed dealers are prohibited from selling or delivering handguns or ammunition for handguns to any person under the age of 21. A strong state law is needed to stop unlicensed persons from selling handguns to those under the age of 21.
To the Brady's: Prove it. Show me a situation where Junior bought a gun from the creepy old man down the street. Provide a reference that has ever happened in the State of Oklahoma, in which this has occurred and not resulted in Dad kicking creepy old man's creepy old butt. Because, I'm telling you now that some things don't need to be legislated, and this is one of them. Should we pass a law that makes it illegal for you to feed your kids only candy? No, because it's a self-correcting problem. Should we pass a law that says that you have to inflate an inter tube to play with it at the lake? No, because it's common sense. The point is moot. There are no laws saying that you can't serve raw, rotten meat to guests, even though it could result in someone being harmed. If I tried that, the injury would be mine, as one of my guests would surely be insulted.
LARGE CAPACITY AMMUNITION MAGAZINES
Are there limitations on large capacity ammunition magazines? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law restricting the sale or possession of large capacity ammunition magazines that can fire 30, 50 or even 75 rounds without reloading. Ammunition magazines with a capacity of more than 10 rounds of ammunition are considered large capacity magazines. These types of ammunition magazines are available for any firearm capable of accepting a detachable magazine, including assault weapons and semi-automatic handguns.
So? I'm serious. What's the point? '...can fire 30, 50 or even 75 rounds of ammunition without reloading.' Say it ain't so! Oh, my gosh! To fire so many rounds without so much as reloading is... ...well... ...it's... ...what is it? Honestly, I'm not sure what they're getting at here. We could all switch to single-shots, but that would be a pain in the butt. It's fun and convenient to shoot 30, 50, or even 75 rounds without reloading. For that matter, I wouldn't mind getting one of those 100-round drums for my AR-15. If they weren't so expensive, I would so get one of those for plinking. I don't necessarily want to shoot 100-rounds all at once, but to not have to worry about loading another mag, or even changing it for a range session, would be great. For defensive purposes, I'm thinking that five shots at a time is about minimum between reloads, and thirty is about the maximum that I would want to manage in one string. This again comes down to, why is a hi-cap mag a bad thing? Because you say so? What makes you the authority?
LICENSE OR PERMIT TO PURCHASE
Is a license/permit required to buy handguns? No
No state requirement that handgun buyers obtain a handgun license or undergo any type of safety training prior to buying a handgun.
I think it's funny on this list how they keep recycling their points. Refer to the 'Gun Dealer Regulations' section above, because this is just a restatement of that to try to add a little glimpse-meat to their point here, since they lack any real argument for their agenda. Purchasing licensure is a pro-rape mantra to make sure that the victims stay victims and the criminals stay more powerful than them.
LIMIT BULK PURCHASES
Is there a one-handgun-per-month limit on sales? No
No state restrictions on gun-trafficking such as a limit on the number of handguns that can be purchased at one time. Gun traffickers can easily buy large quantities of handguns at gun stores and resell them on the street to criminals.
First, I will refer back to my point that some guns will slip through the cracks and wind up in the wrong hands - you can't regulate that out of reality. My second point will be, why should I be limited on the hardware that I'm allowed to buy? I don't believe that it is any business of the government's what I buy, or how much of it I buy. I don't think that felons should be allowed to legally arm themselves, but that is about where I believe 'common sense' gun legislation ends.
LIMITS ON CONCEALED HANDGUN PERMITS
May police limit carrying concealed handguns? No
State law forces police chiefs and state sheriffs to give concealed carry permits (CCW) to anyone 23 years of age or older who can buy a handgun, allowing them to carry loaded, concealed handguns in public (known as �shall issue�). Some safety training in the legal or safe use of weapons is required to obtain the CCW permit. State law allows residents of some other states to carry concealed weapons in this state without informing local police.
Mostly true, and proud of it. The age limit is actually 21, not 23. Explain how this could possibly be a bad thing. We don't work for them, and they aren't there to babysit us. They work for us. The police are there to serve and protect. Have you ever heard the phrase used? Did you ever wonder what it means, Sarah Brady? With rare exception, if you can legally buy a handgun, you shall get the license to carry it, loaded and concealed, if you will only jump through the hoops - guaranteed. The only reason that you could not legally buy a handgun is if you are a criminal. Therefore, if you aren't a criminal, and you have jumped through the hoops, you get the license.
MICROSTAMPING
Must new semi-automatic handguns be sold with microstamping technology? No
Oklahoma - There is no state law requiring new semi-automatic handguns be fitted with microstamping technology, which would engrave on each fired bullet casing microscopic identifying markings that are specific to that firearm alone. This technology would provide law enforcement with another investigative tool to better solve gun crimes and apprehend armed criminals.
This point is kind of a permutation of the 'BALLISTIC FINGERPRINTING' and 'CHILDPROOF HANDGUNS'. Like I said, they tend to recycle some points in this thing, true or false, to support their otherwise unfounded argument. This proposition would easily triple the price of firearms. A law like this would not be about helping to solve crimes. Rather, it would serve to make sure that low-income households could not afford defense. The idea of putting an extra zero at the end of the price tag of every firearm is not about crime prevention so much as it is about racism and bigotry. It is specifically targeted at low-income families to prevent them from protecting themselves, to assure that they can become victims of criminal violence. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Those Brady's are a bunch of stand up people, aren't they?
PREEMPTION - LOCAL GUN LAWS
May municipalities enact law stronger than the state's? No
State law forbids local city or county governments from enacting any local gun laws, even though the state has failed to pass responsible state-wide laws. This preemption of local government authority makes it impossible for cities to enact sensible gun laws to make their citizens safer.
The gun laws in Illinois are not so obstructive to free citizens, but the City of Chicago has hideous, draconian gun laws that in turn produce one of the higher concentrations of crime on the continent. Tell me I'm wrong. That is what the Brady campaign is proposing here. I know that my hometown will put a citation for a code violation on my front door when I've pulled a wheel off the car in the driveway to take it to the tire shop to have the tire changed. I don't really want them in the business of my gun ownership status. No.
RECORD KEEPING
May police maintain gun sale records? No
State law forbids police from keeping any record of gun sales. Police are prohibited from maintaining gun sale records that could be used for gun tracing and criminal investigations. The state has no way of knowing whether people who bought guns in the past have become criminals and are no longer allowed to possess firearms. The lack of gun sale records also makes it very difficult to identify and prosecute gun traffickers or gang members that buy guns in bulk and resell them on the street.
This, friends, is yet another recycled point, wrapped in a mis-truth. As I previously stated, there is no gun registry in The State of Oklahoma. Does that mean that gun purchases are completely hidden from law enforcement? No. Investigators may look into the records that FFL holders are required to keep, for the purpose of an investigation, with a court-issued warrant. I think that's fair enough. Gun registry sounds like a good thing at first. I'm sure it sounded like a good thing to the Jews when the Nazis put it into effect in Germany too. I'm really not going to go any further with this point. If you need further clarification as to why gun registry is a bad thing, please request it in my comment section. If you wish to remain anonymous, please say so in your comment, and I will not release your comment from moderation.
REGISTRATION
Are all guns registered with law enforcement? No
No state requirement that gun owners register their firearms. Police do not know how many guns are in the state or where they are. The lack of registration data makes it more difficult for police to trace guns used in crime, identify illegal gun traffickers or hold gun owners accountable for their weapons. There is no state system to automatically identify and disarm felons and other prohibited people who bought guns legally in the past, but later committed a crime or otherwise became ineligible to keep possession of their firearms.
You would think that they would at least put a contrasting point between copied points. But, this one proves that common sense is not working with the Brady's. Alright, I'll take a stab at their recycled point. "Oooooh, it makes it harder for laaaaaw enforcement, since they have to figure out stuff." I'm sorry, but the cops shouldn't know everything about me. Earlier, I made the point that they work for us, we do not work for them. I would not let my employees watch me make love to my wife, and similarly it is not the PD's business how many and/or what type of weapons I have at my disposal until I do something stupid with them.
REPORT LOST/STOLEN GUNS
Are firearm owners required to report all lost or stolen guns to law enforcement? No
Oklahoma - State law does not require firearm owners to report lost or stolen firearms to law enforcement. This requirement would help to keep illegal guns off the streets by removing the excuse used by gun traffickers that "lose" their firearms.
I wanted to say that this is not correct, but I honestly can't back that up. I was under the impression that we must report lost or stolen guns within 72-hours, but I can't find a reference on that. If I find anything else, I will post it as an update.
SAFETY STANDARDS
Are there consumer safety standards on guns? No
No state requirement that handguns meet any basic safety standards. No requirement that guns be sold with a child-safety lock or a built-in �personalized� lock to prevent unauthorized use. No requirement that handguns have loaded-chamber indicators or magazine safety disconnects that could prevent unintentional shootings. The state Attorney General is not allowed to independently establish handgun safety standards.
The State Attorney General is not necessarily qualified to establish handgun safety standards. Beyond that, none of the information in this point is anything that I have not previously addressed in this post already. The Brady Campaign could cut out their repeats and condense this sucker by half at least!
SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIALS
Are there limitations on 'junk' handguns? No
No state restriction on the sale of Saturday night specials or "junk" handguns. No requirement that handguns meet any safety tests such as a drop-safety test or a firing-performance test. No restriction on the sale of snub-nosed handguns that are very small and easy to conceal.
The mention of snub-nosed handguns is a red herring here. I'm sorry, but it's hard not to love a snubby once you get to know them. Prior to that, I've already made my point that 'junk' handgun laws are racist and elitist. They are intended to keep low-income households at the bottom of the totem pole. Period.
SHOOT FIRST
Is deadly force allowed to be a first resort in public? Yes
Oklahoma - The state does allow the use of deadly force as a first resort in public. This dangerous law permits the average citizen to bypass our entire justice system by permitting him or her to assume the role of police officer, prosecutor, judge, and executioner.
When a young lady is forced to the ground in a dark alley by a man with a knife, wearing a mask and no pants, and he pulls up her skirt; when she shoots him dead with her concealed handgun, how is that 'bypassing our entire justice system'? Why is is necessary for her to go ahead and take the rape, and possibly the subsequent murder, so that the perp can hopefully be arrested by an officer, prosecuted, tried before a judge and jury (oddly omitted by the Brady's), to then be led to the executioner? You know, I don't see any problem with her taking care of the situation right then and there. I have no objection to someone taking on their own destiny, and doing serious bodily harm to someone who is maliciously attempting serious bodily harm to them. Is that wrong of me?
UNIVERSAL BACKGROUND CHECKS
Are background checks required on all gun sales? No
Oklahoma - No state requirement that criminal background checks be done on all firearm sales. People buying firearms at gun shows, swap meets, or through newspaper or internet advertisements are not subject to a background check. Criminal background checks are only required if the buyer goes to a federally-licensed gun store - all other sales are not subject to the background check.
They very conveniently threw in the word 'all'. The spirit of the law is this: That you may not transfer ownership of a firearm to someone that you do not know has a clean background. Does Grandpa have to run a background check on me to legally give me his mom's shotgun? No, and that is going to have to be another post, I didn't really pull the example out of thin air. Now, the guys at the gun range know me, but do they know me? They have to run the background check every time. It doesn't matter that they know who we are, that they have met our families and friends, that they know full well that we have valid CCW permits and that they have cleared background checks on us for prior purchases. They MUST run that background check again. Period. So, if I'm going to sell you a gun, personally, face-to-face, it would do me well to make darn tooting sure that you are eligible to own a firearm, or I could be convicted of a straw purchase. Go ahead and hit the link - It refutes a bunch of the Brady points, and shows exactly how petty these people are.
WAITING PERIOD
Is there a waiting period on gun sales? No
No state requirement that there be a waiting period for gun sales beyond the "instant check" in federal law. Police are not given any additional time to run a criminal background check to make sure the gun buyer is not prohibited from acquiring firearms. There is no "cooling off" period to help prevent crimes of passion.
Once again, I'm going to call B. S. and ask for evidence on this one. All the waiting period does is make people anxious to get the new gun that they are so excited about. Then, they get frustrated and want to shoot a Brady - or so I've heard. We don't have a waiting period here, so I wouldn't know about that. (I'm so sorry, Instinct. My heart goes out to you. At least they can't keep you separated from your new shotgun forever.)
The gun law summaries provided by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence more like to exaggerate gun violence should not be regarded as explanation of state law because they're more like pre-teen gossip on state law. While we try wink, wink, nudge, nudge to keep this information accurate and it is accurate, yessiree Bob and updated just like the Brady Show is today, this material is provided for general discussion and reference purposes only and for scare tactics to get you to hate freedom and liberty as much as we do.
Italicized commentary edited in by yours truly, as if you couldn't tell.
What a bunch of crap heads! I'm out.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Judgement: Zombie's Bane - Update
I don't know whether you read my original post about my 12-gauge. It has now been well over a month since I ordered the mag extensions from Impact Guns. These people have promised me time and time again that the parts should arrive any day now. These people will get no more of my business. Subsequent research tells me that I don't really want the plastic ATI's anyway. I ordered a blue steel StarTac 7-Shot extension from Morning Bite. There was a problem with this order as well, but the owner called me and informed me of what the problem was, and how they plan to resolve it. I'm not happy about the delay, but I'm very impressed with the subsequent customer service. It appears that I purchased the last of this item that they are likely to ever have, and they shipped it to the wrong address. He assured me that they would get it back and resend it to the correct address. When I locate and purchase a second one of these, I'll cancel the order with Impact altogether and never look back. So, long story short - I'm still waiting on my mag extensions.
Monday, February 9, 2009
That Beer
At thirty years old, and a so-far accomplished husband and father of a rapidly growing boy, I' not nearly as accomplished a drinker as I used to be. My current drinking habits can be best referred to as abstemious. I hate 'getting drunk'. It just doesn't suit my personality. I am a high-energy, meticulous sort of person, and I like my actions to be deliberate.
Therefore, the heaviest drinking I am likely to do will be maybe four or five drinks over the course of six or seven hours, on the weekend, in the comfort of my own home. Even then, such volume is pretty rare, as a 'wild night' anymore usually consists of three drinks over the course of five or six hours until I get pooped and crash at 11:00. Yeah. Getting old is awesome!
All that being said, every once in a great while, I get 'That One Beer.' You know the kind - it's the one that makes me sick or something. All the other beers that I have before it in the evening are fine, but That One makes me feel woozy, double-visioned that night, and usually gives me a headache in the morning. Not cool! That Beer gives me cotton-mouth and keeps me from sleeping restfully, and it often makes my knees achy in the morning.
I think I need a Beer-O-Meter... ...correction, an iBeerMeter. I explain the difference in this post. At any rate, I need some sort of scanner that I can run across all the cans, identify the offending beverage, and mark it especially to serve to obnoxious company or something. If I could manage to skip That Beer, I could continue happily drinking, never cross the line from pleasant buzz to intoxication. But, alas - I don't know how to identify That Beer until I've had about three-quarters of it. At that point, I can't pour it out - that would be a waste of beer!
Oh, what is a guy to do?
Therefore, the heaviest drinking I am likely to do will be maybe four or five drinks over the course of six or seven hours, on the weekend, in the comfort of my own home. Even then, such volume is pretty rare, as a 'wild night' anymore usually consists of three drinks over the course of five or six hours until I get pooped and crash at 11:00. Yeah. Getting old is awesome!
All that being said, every once in a great while, I get 'That One Beer.' You know the kind - it's the one that makes me sick or something. All the other beers that I have before it in the evening are fine, but That One makes me feel woozy, double-visioned that night, and usually gives me a headache in the morning. Not cool! That Beer gives me cotton-mouth and keeps me from sleeping restfully, and it often makes my knees achy in the morning.
I think I need a Beer-O-Meter... ...correction, an iBeerMeter. I explain the difference in this post. At any rate, I need some sort of scanner that I can run across all the cans, identify the offending beverage, and mark it especially to serve to obnoxious company or something. If I could manage to skip That Beer, I could continue happily drinking, never cross the line from pleasant buzz to intoxication. But, alas - I don't know how to identify That Beer until I've had about three-quarters of it. At that point, I can't pour it out - that would be a waste of beer!
Oh, what is a guy to do?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Oklahoma - The Scariest Place to Live!!!
So apparently, Oklahoma is in a three-way tie with Kentucky and Louisiana for dead-last on the Brady list. Yes, their 2008 scorecard clearly prints my beloved state underneath any other with a breathtaking two points to prevent gun violence. And, I've got to tell you folks, that's why everybody always gets shot here. Legal gun owners shoot everyone. Everyday. I've been shot three times already just this morning. When I pee, spent lead falls in the toilet. You out-of-staters ever seen an Okie? We're like swiss-cheese-people. We all have tinnitus from the constant gunfire. These guns are uncontrollable. God bless Sarah Brady and her minions! Someone needs to corral the wild little things. I hope to be safe from myself one day. Until then, I'll just keep dodging bullets and hope that I don't get hit any place vital...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Huggy Retail Customer
For several long, hard years, I worked at AutoZone. It's not the most glamorous job that a guy can do, and it was nothing short of pure torture at moments. Prior to getting married and having a family, I was such a free-spirited, happy-go-lucky kind of dude that I would breeze through a job for a few months and then blow it off when I got bored. When I realized that I had to have a constant income, I found that I could endure and put up with a crappy job for long lengths of time. Hence, my several years at AutoZone. These years were the segue between being a mechanic at a small auto shop in Okc, and working in the parts department of a local Ford dealership. I got laid off from the dealership when they were going out of business, but it's hard to regret where I've been, given that it has led to where I am now. But, that's not the point of this post.
When I first went to work for AutoZone, I hoped to get to work at the store near my house. It's only a couple of miles away, and I could have gone on bike if I had to. Instead, I was hired on and posted at a store about twenty miles away. At the time, I needed income, no matter what the trouble, so I went to work there. My performance was stellar, and I was noticed by upper management to some degree, and got transferred to another store a little closer to home. At that store, I went through three managers, the last of which was a big, goofy, take-one-for-the-team kind of guy. He had me convinced that in order to make it in the company, I needed to give a little extra, go beyond the call of duty, and even go so far as to work off the clock on special projects. I had my eyes set on corporate work if I was going to stay with the company. So, I gave his suggestion a whirl. One day (on my day off), I was totally burned out, but I had my eye on the prize, and I donned a wrinkled uniform shirt and headed off to the store to set up some displays. I didn't even bother to shave that day. I figured that the effort and free time given would far outweigh anything else. Boy, was I wrong! The head of HR for the district happened to wander into the store that day while I was setting up displays. I ran into him, face to face, in my completely disheveled appearance. He was pissed off!
Before I knew it, I had been transferred to the crappiest store in the district. This is the corner of town that has all the murder stories associated with it. The gas station across the street constantly had red and blue lights flashing. There was an occasion in which my coworkers and I watched as a sedan pulled into an adjoining parking lot and a woman came out of the passenger door to urinate on the ground. I suppose when you've got to go, you've got to go. I was the minority, being the white dude from a more affluent part of town, and was warned not to cross the street or I would get shot (I disregarded those warnings and never once had any trouble though). I had multiple black customers make accusations of racism to my face, gave them witty retorts, and developed loyal customer relationships with them because of it. At that store, I met at least one friend for life, and I learned many lessons of life. I learned that I hate chicken gizzards. I learned that black children are taught that white children carry lice. To my utter sadness, I learned that there are more blacks that are racist against blacks than there are whites. I confronted a black coworker about throwing around the "N" word, that I found it offensive and he should as well. And, I started learning that no challenge is so great that it can't be turned into an opportunity. I did my best, and I worked hard. I changed countless batteries and wiper blades. I helped customers diagnose fuse and relay problems. I had to hide in the office from voraciously amorous women on more than one occasion, much to the hysterical amusement of my coworkers.
One day, I wound up with a day shift during the week by some miracle. There were two guys working in the store with me, and we were bored stiff. We had updated all the displays, run some cycle-counts, cleaned the bathrooms and battery charging stations, and had pretty much removed every speck of dust in the place. There had been no customers to speak of. The two other guys were in the back of the store, straightening merchandise or goofing off or something, and I was at the front counter. It was at that time that a young lady came in. She was a black girl, in her twenties with an average build and average features. I was excited over the prospect of doing something - anything beyond cleaning and straightening the store. I asked her what we could do for her, and she expressed that her car was acting up and she didn't know what was wrong with it. I tested her battery and alternator, and it turned out that she simply had some highly corroded battery cable ends and a couple of blown fuses. Because I was bored, I changed these for her, cleaned up her battery terminals, topped up her fluids and changed her wiper blades. Since I had not been in the store, the two other guys had come to the front counter to watch the store (and watch me, since that was far more entertaining than anything else that had happened all day).
When I had settled up with the girl for the couple of parts used and made sure that her car was operating properly, she threw her arms around my neck and kicked her feet up behind her back. She said, "Thank you so much!" She held the pose for a moment before going to her car to drive away. At the time, I was so shocked, I didn't really know what to do. Truth be told, I can't even recall whether I returned the hug, or just stood there stiffly, wondering what to do!
When she left the store, I turned to the gaping faces of the two other guys I was working with. I smiled widely, and said in a loud, authoritative voice, "That, my friends, is a SATISFIED customer!"
There was a lot of weird stuff that happened when I worked retail, but nothing that I would be ashamed of my wife knowing, and nothing that I couldn't share with my preacher. There are a lot of situations that you think of the perfect thing to say some time later, when it's far too late to deliver the line. This was one of those magical opportuinities where the situation was perfect for it, and I just happened to think of the right thing to say at just the right time.
I know what's going through both of your minds: So, what happened with AutoZone?
I saw two or three different managers over that store before I was finally transferred to the store a couple miles from my house - which turned out to be absolutely the most hellish that my short career with AutoZone had to offer. From there, I electively left the company to pursue a part-time position as a courtesy van driver for the Ford dealership (stay in school, kids), with the promise of a more white-collar position in parts wholesale (the opportunities are limited without a college education). They offered me a second, part-time position in the parts warehouse. Eventually, I went full-time in the warehouse. I refused to sell cars, and they never came through on the desk job that they originally promised. I asked for a job in the accounting department just before the ship started sinking. The management sold wholesale parts, the only part of the dealership that was making any money, and when they were bailing to save the ship, I was in the first wave of layoffs, being the new guy in the office. With the experience I was able to gather in the accounting department, combined with my parts and inventory experience, I was a perfect fit in my current position. God works in mysterious, wonderful ways, people. If the company I'm in can weather the recession, I gladly see many more years there. If not, then I'm sure other doors will open. And, I'm sure it will be something that I've never even thought of doing. Whatever happens, I welcome the opportunity.
When I first went to work for AutoZone, I hoped to get to work at the store near my house. It's only a couple of miles away, and I could have gone on bike if I had to. Instead, I was hired on and posted at a store about twenty miles away. At the time, I needed income, no matter what the trouble, so I went to work there. My performance was stellar, and I was noticed by upper management to some degree, and got transferred to another store a little closer to home. At that store, I went through three managers, the last of which was a big, goofy, take-one-for-the-team kind of guy. He had me convinced that in order to make it in the company, I needed to give a little extra, go beyond the call of duty, and even go so far as to work off the clock on special projects. I had my eyes set on corporate work if I was going to stay with the company. So, I gave his suggestion a whirl. One day (on my day off), I was totally burned out, but I had my eye on the prize, and I donned a wrinkled uniform shirt and headed off to the store to set up some displays. I didn't even bother to shave that day. I figured that the effort and free time given would far outweigh anything else. Boy, was I wrong! The head of HR for the district happened to wander into the store that day while I was setting up displays. I ran into him, face to face, in my completely disheveled appearance. He was pissed off!
Before I knew it, I had been transferred to the crappiest store in the district. This is the corner of town that has all the murder stories associated with it. The gas station across the street constantly had red and blue lights flashing. There was an occasion in which my coworkers and I watched as a sedan pulled into an adjoining parking lot and a woman came out of the passenger door to urinate on the ground. I suppose when you've got to go, you've got to go. I was the minority, being the white dude from a more affluent part of town, and was warned not to cross the street or I would get shot (I disregarded those warnings and never once had any trouble though). I had multiple black customers make accusations of racism to my face, gave them witty retorts, and developed loyal customer relationships with them because of it. At that store, I met at least one friend for life, and I learned many lessons of life. I learned that I hate chicken gizzards. I learned that black children are taught that white children carry lice. To my utter sadness, I learned that there are more blacks that are racist against blacks than there are whites. I confronted a black coworker about throwing around the "N" word, that I found it offensive and he should as well. And, I started learning that no challenge is so great that it can't be turned into an opportunity. I did my best, and I worked hard. I changed countless batteries and wiper blades. I helped customers diagnose fuse and relay problems. I had to hide in the office from voraciously amorous women on more than one occasion, much to the hysterical amusement of my coworkers.
One day, I wound up with a day shift during the week by some miracle. There were two guys working in the store with me, and we were bored stiff. We had updated all the displays, run some cycle-counts, cleaned the bathrooms and battery charging stations, and had pretty much removed every speck of dust in the place. There had been no customers to speak of. The two other guys were in the back of the store, straightening merchandise or goofing off or something, and I was at the front counter. It was at that time that a young lady came in. She was a black girl, in her twenties with an average build and average features. I was excited over the prospect of doing something - anything beyond cleaning and straightening the store. I asked her what we could do for her, and she expressed that her car was acting up and she didn't know what was wrong with it. I tested her battery and alternator, and it turned out that she simply had some highly corroded battery cable ends and a couple of blown fuses. Because I was bored, I changed these for her, cleaned up her battery terminals, topped up her fluids and changed her wiper blades. Since I had not been in the store, the two other guys had come to the front counter to watch the store (and watch me, since that was far more entertaining than anything else that had happened all day).
When I had settled up with the girl for the couple of parts used and made sure that her car was operating properly, she threw her arms around my neck and kicked her feet up behind her back. She said, "Thank you so much!" She held the pose for a moment before going to her car to drive away. At the time, I was so shocked, I didn't really know what to do. Truth be told, I can't even recall whether I returned the hug, or just stood there stiffly, wondering what to do!
When she left the store, I turned to the gaping faces of the two other guys I was working with. I smiled widely, and said in a loud, authoritative voice, "That, my friends, is a SATISFIED customer!"
There was a lot of weird stuff that happened when I worked retail, but nothing that I would be ashamed of my wife knowing, and nothing that I couldn't share with my preacher. There are a lot of situations that you think of the perfect thing to say some time later, when it's far too late to deliver the line. This was one of those magical opportuinities where the situation was perfect for it, and I just happened to think of the right thing to say at just the right time.
I know what's going through both of your minds: So, what happened with AutoZone?
I saw two or three different managers over that store before I was finally transferred to the store a couple miles from my house - which turned out to be absolutely the most hellish that my short career with AutoZone had to offer. From there, I electively left the company to pursue a part-time position as a courtesy van driver for the Ford dealership (stay in school, kids), with the promise of a more white-collar position in parts wholesale (the opportunities are limited without a college education). They offered me a second, part-time position in the parts warehouse. Eventually, I went full-time in the warehouse. I refused to sell cars, and they never came through on the desk job that they originally promised. I asked for a job in the accounting department just before the ship started sinking. The management sold wholesale parts, the only part of the dealership that was making any money, and when they were bailing to save the ship, I was in the first wave of layoffs, being the new guy in the office. With the experience I was able to gather in the accounting department, combined with my parts and inventory experience, I was a perfect fit in my current position. God works in mysterious, wonderful ways, people. If the company I'm in can weather the recession, I gladly see many more years there. If not, then I'm sure other doors will open. And, I'm sure it will be something that I've never even thought of doing. Whatever happens, I welcome the opportunity.
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